Infield: Shortstop Tony Fernandez (1983-2001) was a very solid player for a long time – five all-star games, four Gold Gloves. Spent the first half of his career in Toronto, then spent the second half playing for anyone who needed a shortstop. He was the Yankees’ last Opening Day starter before Derek Jeter. Third baseman Travis Fryman (1990-2002) drove in 100 runs three times and had four more seasons over 90. For his career, 223 home runs and more than 1,000 RBI. We can forgive him for not developing into the superstar that some people expected. Second baseman Tito Fuentes (1965-78) was a slick fielder who had the reputation as a bit of a hot dog. He currently works as an analyst on the San Francisco Giants’ Spanish-language broadcasts. Terry Francona (1981-90) wasn’t a very good hitter, but the manager keeps penciling him in to start at first base anyway.
Outfield: Left fielder Tito Francona (1956-70) was a better hitter than his son, Terry. In fact, Tito was a pretty decent hitter – 650 runs, 656 RBI, some gap power. Center fielder Tom Fleming (1899-1904) was nicknamed “Sleuth.” No clue why. In 99 career at-bats, he had a sum total of two extra-base hits. Right fielder Ted Ford (1970-73) was Vietnam vet who hit 14 home runs for the Rangers in 1972 but was out of baseball before he turned 30.
Catcher: Tyler Flowers (2009- ) made his major-league debut in 2009, instantly becoming the best catcher in history with the initials TF. In fact, he was the first catcher with those initials. His at-bats will be sponsored by FTD.
Rotation: Tony Freitas (1932-36) gave Connie Mack a dozen victories as a rookie but did not stick around the majors long. He went back to the minors, had six 20-win seasons in the Pacific Coast League, pitched until he was 45 years old and won 348 games in the minors. Turk Farrell (1956-69) won 106 games and had a half-dozen seasons with either 10 or 11 victories (plus one season with 14). Tom Filer (1982-92) was never given a full shot in a big-league rotation, only hit 100 innings pitched one time, but he was actually a decent pitcher. Tom Fisher (1904) went 6-16 in his only major-league season, a bad pitcher on a bad team. Terry Felton (1979-82) had a career record of 0-16, but we’ll keep putting him out there until he wins one.
Bullpen: Terry Forster (1971-86) was a good pitcher for a long time, saved 127 games. He was a big, chubby lefty (a portly portsider, as they say) who got chubbier as he got older. David Letterman famously described him as “a fat tub of goo,” and Forster was enough of a good sport that he later went on Letterman’s show to poke fun at himself by saying that his motto was “A waist is a terrible thing to mind.” Tom Ferrick (1941-52) was a good reliever who lost three years to World War II. Terry Fox (1960-66) was a solid righty. Like Ferrick, he had almost 60 saves and could slide into the closer role if needed. Todd Frohwirth (1987-96) was a workhorse who slung the ball sidearm and was effective for several years. Tim Fortugno (1992-95) was a lefty who threw overhand and was less effective. Tony Fiore (2000-03) was a functional reliever for Tampa Bay for a couple of years. Tony Ferreira (1985) was a lefty who got clobbered in two games at age 22 and never made it back to the bigs.
Bench: Tim Foli (1970-85) was the top pick in the 1968 draft. He had a long career as a good-field, no-hit shortstop. Tom Foley (1983-95) hit about like Tim Foli but didn’t field as well. Tim Flannery (1979-89) was a useful infielder for a decade in San Diego. Tim Flood (1899-1903) was another weak-hitting utility guy. Tim Federowicz made his big-league debut with the Dodgers at the end of the 2011 season, earning the right to back up Tyler Flowers on this roster.
Outfield: Left fielder Tito Francona (1956-70) was a better hitter than his son, Terry. In fact, Tito was a pretty decent hitter – 650 runs, 656 RBI, some gap power. Center fielder Tom Fleming (1899-1904) was nicknamed “Sleuth.” No clue why. In 99 career at-bats, he had a sum total of two extra-base hits. Right fielder Ted Ford (1970-73) was Vietnam vet who hit 14 home runs for the Rangers in 1972 but was out of baseball before he turned 30.
Catcher: Tyler Flowers (2009- ) made his major-league debut in 2009, instantly becoming the best catcher in history with the initials TF. In fact, he was the first catcher with those initials. His at-bats will be sponsored by FTD.
Rotation: Tony Freitas (1932-36) gave Connie Mack a dozen victories as a rookie but did not stick around the majors long. He went back to the minors, had six 20-win seasons in the Pacific Coast League, pitched until he was 45 years old and won 348 games in the minors. Turk Farrell (1956-69) won 106 games and had a half-dozen seasons with either 10 or 11 victories (plus one season with 14). Tom Filer (1982-92) was never given a full shot in a big-league rotation, only hit 100 innings pitched one time, but he was actually a decent pitcher. Tom Fisher (1904) went 6-16 in his only major-league season, a bad pitcher on a bad team. Terry Felton (1979-82) had a career record of 0-16, but we’ll keep putting him out there until he wins one.
Bullpen: Terry Forster (1971-86) was a good pitcher for a long time, saved 127 games. He was a big, chubby lefty (a portly portsider, as they say) who got chubbier as he got older. David Letterman famously described him as “a fat tub of goo,” and Forster was enough of a good sport that he later went on Letterman’s show to poke fun at himself by saying that his motto was “A waist is a terrible thing to mind.” Tom Ferrick (1941-52) was a good reliever who lost three years to World War II. Terry Fox (1960-66) was a solid righty. Like Ferrick, he had almost 60 saves and could slide into the closer role if needed. Todd Frohwirth (1987-96) was a workhorse who slung the ball sidearm and was effective for several years. Tim Fortugno (1992-95) was a lefty who threw overhand and was less effective. Tony Fiore (2000-03) was a functional reliever for Tampa Bay for a couple of years. Tony Ferreira (1985) was a lefty who got clobbered in two games at age 22 and never made it back to the bigs.
Bench: Tim Foli (1970-85) was the top pick in the 1968 draft. He had a long career as a good-field, no-hit shortstop. Tom Foley (1983-95) hit about like Tim Foli but didn’t field as well. Tim Flannery (1979-89) was a useful infielder for a decade in San Diego. Tim Flood (1899-1903) was another weak-hitting utility guy. Tim Federowicz made his big-league debut with the Dodgers at the end of the 2011 season, earning the right to back up Tyler Flowers on this roster.
Manager: Terry Francona took the Red Sox to two World Series championships. Good enough to be player-manager on this club. We will even let him wear his favorite pullover on top of his uniform, with no threats of punishment.
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