Infield: First off, let’s begin by stating the obvious. It’s cool to have an infield that includes a Piggy, a Pinky and a Pee Wee. Third baseman Pinky Whitney (1928-39) was a pretty average player, but he played in the Baker Bowl during a great era for hitters, so his numbers look better than they actually are. In 1930, he batted .342 with 41 doubles and was actually a below-average player (as measured by the OPS+ stat, which puts offensive contributions into context including ballpark factor and league averages). That’s pretty much who this guy is – a career .295 hitter who was essentially an average offensive player. Shortstop Pee-Wee Wanninger (1925-27) had a long career in the minors that was interrupted by a brief stopover in the majors. He was the starting shortstop for the 1925 Yankees, and right about now you’re thinking, “Wow, that’s Gehrig and Ruth, must have been a great team,” but no. That was the year that Babe Ruth had his infamous “bellyache,” and the Yankees had their only losing season between 1919-1965. (Odd detail: When Wanninger started at shortstop, it ended the consecutive game streak of Everett Scott at 1,307, which was the record at the time. Later that season, Wanninger was removed for a pinch-hitter – a fellow named Lou Gehrig, in the first of his 2,130 consecutive games that would obliterate Scott’s record.) Second baseman Piggy Ward (1883-94) is the only hitter ever to reach base safely eight times in a nine-inning game – two hits, five walks and a hit-by-pitch on June 18, 1893. This was in the middle of his record streak of reaching base on 19 consecutive plate appearances. He started the streak as a member of the Baltimore Orioles, was traded in the middle of it (go figure) and finished it as a member of the Cincinnati Reds. This was, quite obviously, the highlight of a career that has otherwise been completely forgotten. First baseman Perry Werden (1884-97) was nicknamed “Moose,” because he was 6-foot-2 and 220 pounds in the 1880s. (If your name was Percival Wheritt Werden, you’d be right happy to answer to “Moose.”) Werden was a big star in the minors – batting .341 in a career of more than 1,500 games – and had a pretty decent major-league career as well. In the majors, he batted .282 and drove the ball all over the field, leading the National League in triples twice.
Outfield: Paul Waner (1926-44) was one of the great right fielders of all time. His 3,152 career hits included more than 600 doubles and almost 200 triples, leading to 1,600 runs and 1,300 RBI. He was an absolutely sensational all-around player, rivaling Clemente as the greatest outfielder in Pittsburgh Pirates history. (Waner was known to drink quite a bit, and one writer once observed that “Waner, when he was sober,” was the best outfielder the Pirates ever hard, and that “Waner, when drunk” was the second best.) Though he only weighed 153 pounds, he was known as “Big Poison” – “Big” because he was bigger than his brother, Lloyd “Little Poison” Waner, and “Poison” because that’s how a fan from Brooklyn sounded when he referred to the two Pirates stars as “that big person and that little person.” Center fielder Preston Wilson (1998-2007) was the prototypical slugger of his era, a .260 hitter who struck out a bunch and hit a lot of home runs. He is both the nephew and the stepson of Mookie Wilson (because Mookie married his brother’s ex-wife). He had 189 career home runs, highlighted by a year in the thin air of Colorado when he hit 36 big flies and led the league with 141 RBI. Left fielder Pete Ward (1962-70) was primarily a third baseman, but he played plenty of outfield as well. He was a .254 hitter who was good for about 15 home runs a year, in an era when those were pretty good numbers. He was known for his odd batting stance, a low crouch with the toes of his front foot pointed straight out at the pitcher.
Catcher: Parke Wilson (1893-99) spent most of his career with the New York Giants. In the formative years of baseball protocol, Wilson disdained the emergent use of finger signals in calling pitches. He preferred to use a system of winks and glances to tell the pitcher what to throw.
Rotation: Paul Wilson (1996-2005) won something like 250 games in his major-league career, and he struck out something like 3,000 batters. Oh, wait, no he didn’t. That’s what he was expected to do when he was the No. 1 overall pick in the 1994 draft and the crown jewel of the Mets’ highly touted “Young Guns” rotation (along with Bill Pulsipher and Jason Isringhausen). As a young pitcher, Wilson sure looked like he was going to be as good as billed, but the injuries set in, and he fell off the map for three years in his mid-20s. He ended up posting six losing records in seven seasons, a 40-58 career record. Paul Wagner (1992-99) played for bad teams and, as a result, put up bad records – 29-45 for his career. Pinky Woods (1943-45) was a career minor-leaguer who filled in for the Red Sox during World War II. Pete Wood (1885-89) went 8-15 for the Buffalo Bison in 1885 at age 18, then spent the rest of his career in the minors save for a handful of games for Philadelphia in 1889. Pop Williams (1898-1903), pride of Bowdoinham, Maine, went 16-25 while pitching for four teams in three seasons.
Bullpen: Pete Walker (1995-2006) logged 1,000 innings in the minors to go along with his 339 in the bigs. He was a decent reliever into his mid-30s, and he’ll start out as the de facto closer here. Pete Wilson (1908-09) was a lefty who spent parts of a couple of seasons with the Yankees. Pete Wojey (1954-57), whose real last name was Wojciechowski, won 120 games in the minors before he got the chance to pitch in the bigs for a few years in his mid-30s. When he was done, he went back to the minors and continued to pitch until he was 40. P.J. Walters (2009- ) is a young reliever with a live arm who is trying to get started with the Cardinals, but so far he has done nothing of note in the majors. His full name is Phillip Dewayne Walters, which for some reason is shortened to P.J. Pat Whitaker (1888-89) pitched in three games and had a 2-1 career record. Paul Wilmet (1989) spent a decade in the minors and appeared in just two games in the majors, with a career ERA of 15.43. Paul Wachtel (1917) pitched twice in relief for Brooklyn in 1917, but forget about that and focus, instead, on his 312 minor-league victories, including six 20-win seasons for Fort Worth in the Texas League. Back in the day when the minors were free-standing, competitive entities, not subsidiaries to the big-league teams, this guy was quite a stud. We’re guessing he’ll break into the PW rotation before too long, and he might just be the ace (depending on how Paul Wilson’s arm is feeling).
Bench: In a famous scene in “The Princess Bride,” a crone played by Carol Kane chases a miracle man played by Billy Crystal around their home, taunting him with shouts of “Humperdinck! Humperdinck, Humperdinck, Humperdinck!” There once was a fan who suggested that every baseball team should have at least one player on the roster whose last name sounds funny when shouted three times loudly in “Humperdinck” fashion. A player like backup catcher Pete Weckbecker (1889-90). Whenever he enters the game, the fans will shout “Weckbecker! Weckbecker, Weckbecker, Weckbecker!” Phil Weintraub (1933-45) was a pretty fair hitter, and he’ll get his share of playing time when Pete Ward sits, or when Ward moves to third to spell Pinky Whitney. In one game in 1944, Weintraub drove in 11 runs, missing the major league record by one. First baseman Preston Ward (1948-59) bounced around the majors for nine years. Phil Wisner (1895) went 0-for-1 in his big-league career. Outfielder Possum Whitted (1912-22) was a .270 hitter who could run a bit. When he is in the starting lineup, it will be noted that the team is "playing Possum."
Manager: Pete Ward, who managed in the minors and coaches briefly in the majors, will be player-manager (assuming he can work out the contract details with owner Phil Wrigley).
Outfield: Paul Waner (1926-44) was one of the great right fielders of all time. His 3,152 career hits included more than 600 doubles and almost 200 triples, leading to 1,600 runs and 1,300 RBI. He was an absolutely sensational all-around player, rivaling Clemente as the greatest outfielder in Pittsburgh Pirates history. (Waner was known to drink quite a bit, and one writer once observed that “Waner, when he was sober,” was the best outfielder the Pirates ever hard, and that “Waner, when drunk” was the second best.) Though he only weighed 153 pounds, he was known as “Big Poison” – “Big” because he was bigger than his brother, Lloyd “Little Poison” Waner, and “Poison” because that’s how a fan from Brooklyn sounded when he referred to the two Pirates stars as “that big person and that little person.” Center fielder Preston Wilson (1998-2007) was the prototypical slugger of his era, a .260 hitter who struck out a bunch and hit a lot of home runs. He is both the nephew and the stepson of Mookie Wilson (because Mookie married his brother’s ex-wife). He had 189 career home runs, highlighted by a year in the thin air of Colorado when he hit 36 big flies and led the league with 141 RBI. Left fielder Pete Ward (1962-70) was primarily a third baseman, but he played plenty of outfield as well. He was a .254 hitter who was good for about 15 home runs a year, in an era when those were pretty good numbers. He was known for his odd batting stance, a low crouch with the toes of his front foot pointed straight out at the pitcher.
Catcher: Parke Wilson (1893-99) spent most of his career with the New York Giants. In the formative years of baseball protocol, Wilson disdained the emergent use of finger signals in calling pitches. He preferred to use a system of winks and glances to tell the pitcher what to throw.
Rotation: Paul Wilson (1996-2005) won something like 250 games in his major-league career, and he struck out something like 3,000 batters. Oh, wait, no he didn’t. That’s what he was expected to do when he was the No. 1 overall pick in the 1994 draft and the crown jewel of the Mets’ highly touted “Young Guns” rotation (along with Bill Pulsipher and Jason Isringhausen). As a young pitcher, Wilson sure looked like he was going to be as good as billed, but the injuries set in, and he fell off the map for three years in his mid-20s. He ended up posting six losing records in seven seasons, a 40-58 career record. Paul Wagner (1992-99) played for bad teams and, as a result, put up bad records – 29-45 for his career. Pinky Woods (1943-45) was a career minor-leaguer who filled in for the Red Sox during World War II. Pete Wood (1885-89) went 8-15 for the Buffalo Bison in 1885 at age 18, then spent the rest of his career in the minors save for a handful of games for Philadelphia in 1889. Pop Williams (1898-1903), pride of Bowdoinham, Maine, went 16-25 while pitching for four teams in three seasons.
Bullpen: Pete Walker (1995-2006) logged 1,000 innings in the minors to go along with his 339 in the bigs. He was a decent reliever into his mid-30s, and he’ll start out as the de facto closer here. Pete Wilson (1908-09) was a lefty who spent parts of a couple of seasons with the Yankees. Pete Wojey (1954-57), whose real last name was Wojciechowski, won 120 games in the minors before he got the chance to pitch in the bigs for a few years in his mid-30s. When he was done, he went back to the minors and continued to pitch until he was 40. P.J. Walters (2009- ) is a young reliever with a live arm who is trying to get started with the Cardinals, but so far he has done nothing of note in the majors. His full name is Phillip Dewayne Walters, which for some reason is shortened to P.J. Pat Whitaker (1888-89) pitched in three games and had a 2-1 career record. Paul Wilmet (1989) spent a decade in the minors and appeared in just two games in the majors, with a career ERA of 15.43. Paul Wachtel (1917) pitched twice in relief for Brooklyn in 1917, but forget about that and focus, instead, on his 312 minor-league victories, including six 20-win seasons for Fort Worth in the Texas League. Back in the day when the minors were free-standing, competitive entities, not subsidiaries to the big-league teams, this guy was quite a stud. We’re guessing he’ll break into the PW rotation before too long, and he might just be the ace (depending on how Paul Wilson’s arm is feeling).
Bench: In a famous scene in “The Princess Bride,” a crone played by Carol Kane chases a miracle man played by Billy Crystal around their home, taunting him with shouts of “Humperdinck! Humperdinck, Humperdinck, Humperdinck!” There once was a fan who suggested that every baseball team should have at least one player on the roster whose last name sounds funny when shouted three times loudly in “Humperdinck” fashion. A player like backup catcher Pete Weckbecker (1889-90). Whenever he enters the game, the fans will shout “Weckbecker! Weckbecker, Weckbecker, Weckbecker!” Phil Weintraub (1933-45) was a pretty fair hitter, and he’ll get his share of playing time when Pete Ward sits, or when Ward moves to third to spell Pinky Whitney. In one game in 1944, Weintraub drove in 11 runs, missing the major league record by one. First baseman Preston Ward (1948-59) bounced around the majors for nine years. Phil Wisner (1895) went 0-for-1 in his big-league career. Outfielder Possum Whitted (1912-22) was a .270 hitter who could run a bit. When he is in the starting lineup, it will be noted that the team is "playing Possum."
Manager: Pete Ward, who managed in the minors and coaches briefly in the majors, will be player-manager (assuming he can work out the contract details with owner Phil Wrigley).
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