Infield: Second baseman Scott Fletcher (1981-95) was a very
useful player. He didn’t have any power, but in a good year he could hit .280,
draw a few walks and provide above-average defense at either short or second.
Since his retirement he has remained active in many different coaching
capacities. Shortstop Shorty Fuller (1888-96) was 5-foot-6 and weighed about
150 pounds. He was the player you would expect him to be: low average, no
power, a good number of walks and steals. First baseman Sid Farrar (1883-90)
had a good glove and an average stick. His greatest claim to fame took place
(we assume) off the baseball diamond: He fathered Geraldine Farrar, who went on
to a prominent career as an opera singer (and prominent romances with both
Toscanini and Caruso). Third baseman Sergio Ferrer (1974-79) was a utility
infielder who never hit much. In his final season he was used heavily as a
pinch runner, but since he got thrown out in both stolen base attempts that
year (and in eight of 15 attempts in his career), he probably wasn’t best
suited for that role. He was 5-7, an inch taller than Shorty Fuller, but
actually weighed about 10 pounds less, so the left side of our infield combines
to weigh about as much as Prince Fielder after Sunday dinner.
Outfield: Center fielder Steve Finley (1989-2007) had a
truly remarkable career. He came to the majors as a speedster who played good
defense. Then a funny thing happened. Through age 30, he had batted 3,364 times
and hit 47 home runs. Between the ages of 31-39, he batted 5,709 times . . .
and hit 238 home runs. Make of this what you will: Finley was a longtime
teammate of Ken Caminiti, and he had a massive and unexpected mid-career power
surge during the so-called “steroid era,” but no one ever suggested that Finley
might be juicing. And we’re not
suggesting it either, just noting that he had a lot of the markers that drew
suspicion to other guys even though he himself was never implicated. Anyways,
what a career he had: 2,500 hits, with 1,400 runs and 1,100 RBI, plus 304 home
runs and 320 steals and, for good measure, five Gold Gloves. He played into his
40s and was still spry enough at age 41 to leg out a dozen triples and steal
seven bases without getting caught. Right fielder Showboat Fisher (1923-32) had
a long and outstanding career in the minors, punctuated by a handful of
relatively brief stints in the majors. Everything indicates that he would have
been a good big-leaguer, too – in 340 career at-bats, he batted .335 with an
on-base over .400 and slugging over .500. Granted, those numbers weren’t as
impressive in his era as they would be today, but they’re not chopped liver
either. His nickname was apparently inspired by the musical “Showboat,” which
was playing in St. Louis during Fisher’s time with the Cardinals in 1930, but
it’s unclear what the connection would have been. Here’s another thing that’s
unclear: That season in St. Louis, filling in for various ill and injured
outfielders, Fisher played in 92 games, batting .374 with a .432 on-base
percentage and a .587 slugging percentage . . . and then got released after the
season. Apparently they thought he was too slow. We’re planning to let the man
hit. Left fielder Sam Fuld (2007- ) is a contemporary player who has never
established himself as a regular, but who could be a useful role player.
Catcher: Silver Flint (1875-89) was a respected catcher for
the Chicago Cubs for a generation. He wasn’t a great hitter, other than a few
good seasons, but he had a fine reputation as a handler of pitchers, and both
of his names refer to metal, which just sounds tough. Died of consumption at
age 36.
Rotation: Sid “the Kid” Fernandez (1983-97), also know as El
Sid, was a heavyset Hawaiian lefty who could pitch the hell out of the ball.
Simply put, you’ve got to like a starter who had more strikeouts in his career
(1,743) than hits allowed (1,421). He
had nagging elbow injuries and persistent weight issues (at one point the Mets
sent him to Duke University’s famed nutrition clinic), but when he was healthy
he was tough. His career record was 114-96 with a 3.36 ERA, and he was a key
pitcher for the 1986 championship Mets. Scott Feldman (2005- ) is a 6-foot-6
righty who went 17-8 for the Rangers in 2009. Take that season out of his
career and his record is 22-36, and while he’s still active, he’s not showing
much that’s encouraging these days. Sammy Frock (1907-11) goes on the
“all-clothing team” with guys like Pants Rowland and Socks Seybold (but not
Shoeless Joe). Frock won 15 games in the majors, but almost 200 in the minors. Stan
Fansler (1985) went 0-3 for the Pirates at age 21 and then fell off the map. He
pitched for another decade in the minors, mostly in Single- and Double-A but
never got it going again. Steve Fireovid (1981-92) went 3-1 in scattered
big-league callups but never really pitched all that well. He had a long and
prosperous career in the minors (139 wins), and he was a smart, popular guy who
eventually wrote a book (the diary of his 1990 season at Triple-A) that was
pretty good.
Bullpen: Closer Steve Farr (1984-94) saved 132 games for the
Royals and the Yankees. He was generally a good pitcher, and he had a run of a
few years in mid-career when he was outstanding (a 1.95 ERA in 249 innings
between 1990-92). Lefty Steve Frey (1989-96) pitched at the same time as Steve
Farr, and yeah, sometimes it was easy to confuse them. Frey wasn’t as good as Farr,
but he was pretty good. Steve Foucault (1973-78) looked really promising and
had a few good years, but the injuries set in and he was done before he turned
30. He did stick around long enough to save 52 games. Steve Foster (1991-93)
pitched in three seasons for the Cincinnati Reds, and pitched well in all
three. He worked 89 innings in 59 games and had a 2.41 ERA, but he was another
guy who was stopped by arm injuries well before his 30th birthday.
(We’re going to find a really good trainer with the initials S.F. and see if he
can’t keep Foucault and Foster a little bit healthier.) Scott Forster (2000),
no relation to The Fat Tub of Goo, worked a few games for Montreal and got
clobbered. Lefty Stan Ferens (1942-46) pitched a few games for the St. Louis
Browns in 1942 and a few more in 1946 and ended with a career record of 5-13.
Scott Fredrickson (1993) pitched a few games for the Rockies, none too
effectively.
Bench: Catcher Sal Fasano (1996-2008) had a little bit of
pop and played some adequate defense. That was enough to keep him around for a decade. Fasano wore a
mustache that he apparently bought at Thurman Munson’s estate sale. Infielder
Sam File (1940) appeared in seven games for the Phillieas at age 18 and had one
hit in 13 at-bats. He was a hometown boy (from Chester, Pa.), and there’s
probably a story behind his brief teenage career with the Phillies, but we don’t
know it. Went down to the minors and didn’t hit much there either. Served in
the Coast Guard during World War II and then got on with his post-baseball
life. Utility man Sam Field (1875-76), not to be confused with Sam File,
appeared in 12 games for three teams, taking the field as a catcher, a second
baseman and an outfielder. All that to go 6-for-42. Steve Filipowicz
(1944-48) was a burly outfielder who didn’t impress much in a couple of years for the
Giants, but in 1948 he hit .346 (9 for 26) in a brief trial for Cincinnati. That
was his last time in the big leagues. He
was born in Donora, Pa., but he’d have a hard time breaking into that town’s
historic outfield of Stan Musial and the two Ken Griffeys. Shaun Fitzmaurice
(1966) was an outfielder who played in a few games with the lousy
post-expansion, pre-Miracle Mets.
Manager: Silver Flint will run the team from behind the
plate. He went 5-12 in a brief run at the helm of the Chicago White Stockings
at age 23. It’s not much to go on, but it earns him a shot.
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