SW: The Slim Whitmans

Infield: Skeeter Webb (1932-48) was about as weak a hitter as a guy can be and still have a big-league career. He batted 2,453 times and hit .219 with no power. He hung around as a backup infielder, and at age 35 he was the starting shortstop for Detroit’s world championship team of 1945. He’ll play second base on the SW team, to make room at short for Sam Wise (1881-91), who batted .272 and had 112 career triples. He was an erratic fielder who sometimes slung balls into the stands, and he was the first batter in history to strike out 100 times (1884). According to at least one report, he was in the habit of carrying a potato with him at all times because he thought it would ward off rheumatism. First baseman Shawn Wooten (2000-05) was basically a singles hitter who didn’t get on base enough to be productive, but he won a World Series ring as a part-time player on the ’02 Angels. Third baseman Sam Woodruff (1904-10) had 1,500 hits in the minors but just 67 in the majors.

Outfield: Sammy West (1927-42) was a terrific defensive center fielder and a career .299 hitter who walked more often than he struck out and had gap power. He played for the Senators and the Browns, which is no one’s idea of a good time, though three of his teams in Washington won 90-plus games. Right fielder Steve Whitaker (1966-70) played for the Yankees when they weren’t very good, and spent 1969 with the Seattle Pilots. He was a .230 hitter with a little bit of pop but not much. Left fielder Stump Wiedman (1880-88) was a 19^th-century pitcher who also played some outfield when he wasn’t on the mound. He was a better pitcher than hitter – in fact, he was a terrible hitter – but he’ll see some time in left field, as will Sam Weaver, another pitcher-outfielder from the 1880s.

Catcher: Sammy White (1951-62) was a .262 hitter for the Red Sox who was respected enough that he played in an all-star game and occasionally turned up in the low spots on MVP ballots.

Rotation: Stan Williams (1958-72) had a great fastball and was on the back end of the early Koufax-Drysdale rotations. He won 109 games and pitched in the World Series the Dodgers, Yankees and Twins. Sam Weaver (1875-86) was a 19^th-century workhorse for a few years. Steve Woodard (1997-2003) showed some promise but didn’t turn out to be anything special. Sean West (2009- ) pitched alright as a 23-year-old rookie for the Marlins but has gotten hammered since. Still young enough to turn it around, but he'd best get a move on. Two good things you could say about Snake Wiltse (1901-03) – he had a fine nickname, and his brother Hooks was a very good pitcher. Snake, on the other hand, was at best a run-of-the-mill lefty.

Bullpen: Scott Williamson (1999-2007) won the NL Rookie of the Year award for Cincinnati (12-7, 19 saves, 2.41 ERA) and went on to a solid, if itinerant, career (21 wins, 55 saves, 3.36 ERA). Scott Winchester (1997-2001) was a teammate of Williamson’s, but he wasn’t as good. Stan Wall (1975-77) was a lefty with a short career for the Dodgers. Sean White (2007- ) had a good year for the Mariners in ’09 but hasn't much capitalized on it. Steve Wilson (1988-93) was a hard-throwing left from Canada who was good enough to hang around for a few years. Sandy Wihtol (1979-82) pitched well enough in three call-ups with Cleveland, but he was out of baseball before he turned 30. Steve Waterbury (1976) pitched in five games for the Cardinals.

Bench: Speed Walker (1923) apparently was very fast – he did hit a lot of triples in the minors –but he never got much of a chance to show it in his seven major-league at-bats. Like Speed Walker, shortstop Spider Wilhelm (1953) went 2-for-7 in his major-league career. But his hit was a double. Squanto Wilson (1911-14) was given all of 16 major-league at-bats. He hit .188, though he was a .350 hitter for three years in the B-level New England League. Sam Wright (1875-81) was an infielder who hit .168. Backup catcher Sidney Womack (1926) went 0-for-3, but he had an RBI, so there must have been a groundout with a runner on third bas in there somewhere. Our bench had a career total of three dozen hits. This is what’s known as a thin bench.

Manager: Spin Williams, who spent 12 years as bullpen and pitching coach for the Pirates, will run this team. Because if any team needs some “spin,” it’s this outfit.