Infield: At third base there’s Scott Rolen (1996- ), who is one hell of a player when he’s healthy. He’s the complete package – over 1,100 RBI and 1,000 runs scored, and he’s just glorious to watch in the field. Plays hard, plays hurt. He might be on his way to the Hall of Fame if he had been able to stay healthy. He has had a knack for leaving teams amid nasty disputes with managers. Shortstop Swede Risberg (1917-20) couldn’t hit, but he had a good glove. He was banned for that whole Black Sox Scandal thing. He hit .080 in the 1919 World Series, which might have been overdoing it a bit. Stan (The Happy Rabbit) Rojek (1942-52) was primarily a shortstop, but he’ll move to second base to accommodate the Swede. He was good enough to be a regular for a couple of years, but nothing more. First baseman Sap Randall (1988) was 0-for-12 in his big-league career, but what would you expect from a guy named Sap?
Outfield: Left fielder Sam Rice (1915-34) was a great player. A Hall of Famer. He finished with 2,987 hits, and the only reason he didn’t stick around for 3,000 is that no one really paid attention to statistical milestones at the time. He retired after batting .293 as a 44-year-old, so you have to think he still had 13 hits left in him. He made a famous disputed catch in the 1925 World Series, and he quite literally went to his grave insisting that he made the catch - he left a sealed envelope, which according to his instructions was opened upon his death in 1974, and inside was a note in which he said: “At no time did I lose possession of the ball.” Center fielder Santiago Rosado (1965) and left fielder Si Rosenthal (1925-26) had a total of 115 career hits between them.
Catcher: Skipper Roberts (1913-14) batted .146 for the Cardinals in 1913, then jumped to the Federal League where he found that he still couldn’t hit very well.
Rotation: This team’s woeful offense is going to leave its pitchers in a bind, which is a shame, because it’s actually a pretty good rotation. Steve Rogers (1973-85) was a consistently fine pitcher for the Expos, selected to five all-star games. He won 158 games, led the league in ERA in 1982 and was consistently among the league leaders in fewest baserunners allowed. Schoolboy Rowe (1933-49) was good enough to put up a career record of 158-101. Shane Reynolds (1992-2004) won 114 games and Shane Rawley (1978-89) won 111, making them a pretty good pair of Shanes. Steve Renko (1969-83) was never anyone’s idea of a staff ace, but he was good enough to win 134 games. Not a Hall of Famer in this bunch, but five guys who won 110-160 games is pretty darn good for a team that can’t find two respectable outfielders.
Bullpen: Closer Scott Radinsky (1990-2001) threw really, really hard. As a bonus, he beat cancer and played guitar in a punk rock band. Steve Reed (1992-2005) was a very good reliever who worked in more than 800 games. Steve Ridzik (1950-66) is the righty setup guy. Sergio Romo (2008- ) is a young guy who looks like he could have a decent career. Scott Ruskin (1990-93) pitched fairly well for a few years. Sendy Rleal (2006) pitched fairly well for one year. Saul Rogovin (1948-57) was mostly a starter, and he won as many as 14 games, but we’ll put him to use in long relief.
Bench: Utility man Sherry Robertson (1940-52) wasn’t very good but he hung around for a decade, in part because his uncle (Clark Griffith) owned his team (the Senators). Shawn Riggans (2006- ) is the backup catcher, and it wouldn’t take too much to take the starting job away from Skipper Roberts. Third baseman Stan Royer (1991-94) was a first-round draft pick who washed out quickly in the bigs. In 164 major-league at-bats he had 41 strikeouts and four walks. Skippy Roberge (1941-46) is a backup infielder named Skippy. Sean Rodriguez (2008- ), a backup infielder who at least isn’t named Skippy, will almost certainly break into the starting lineup of this team.
Outfield: Left fielder Sam Rice (1915-34) was a great player. A Hall of Famer. He finished with 2,987 hits, and the only reason he didn’t stick around for 3,000 is that no one really paid attention to statistical milestones at the time. He retired after batting .293 as a 44-year-old, so you have to think he still had 13 hits left in him. He made a famous disputed catch in the 1925 World Series, and he quite literally went to his grave insisting that he made the catch - he left a sealed envelope, which according to his instructions was opened upon his death in 1974, and inside was a note in which he said: “At no time did I lose possession of the ball.” Center fielder Santiago Rosado (1965) and left fielder Si Rosenthal (1925-26) had a total of 115 career hits between them.
Catcher: Skipper Roberts (1913-14) batted .146 for the Cardinals in 1913, then jumped to the Federal League where he found that he still couldn’t hit very well.
Rotation: This team’s woeful offense is going to leave its pitchers in a bind, which is a shame, because it’s actually a pretty good rotation. Steve Rogers (1973-85) was a consistently fine pitcher for the Expos, selected to five all-star games. He won 158 games, led the league in ERA in 1982 and was consistently among the league leaders in fewest baserunners allowed. Schoolboy Rowe (1933-49) was good enough to put up a career record of 158-101. Shane Reynolds (1992-2004) won 114 games and Shane Rawley (1978-89) won 111, making them a pretty good pair of Shanes. Steve Renko (1969-83) was never anyone’s idea of a staff ace, but he was good enough to win 134 games. Not a Hall of Famer in this bunch, but five guys who won 110-160 games is pretty darn good for a team that can’t find two respectable outfielders.
Bullpen: Closer Scott Radinsky (1990-2001) threw really, really hard. As a bonus, he beat cancer and played guitar in a punk rock band. Steve Reed (1992-2005) was a very good reliever who worked in more than 800 games. Steve Ridzik (1950-66) is the righty setup guy. Sergio Romo (2008- ) is a young guy who looks like he could have a decent career. Scott Ruskin (1990-93) pitched fairly well for a few years. Sendy Rleal (2006) pitched fairly well for one year. Saul Rogovin (1948-57) was mostly a starter, and he won as many as 14 games, but we’ll put him to use in long relief.
Bench: Utility man Sherry Robertson (1940-52) wasn’t very good but he hung around for a decade, in part because his uncle (Clark Griffith) owned his team (the Senators). Shawn Riggans (2006- ) is the backup catcher, and it wouldn’t take too much to take the starting job away from Skipper Roberts. Third baseman Stan Royer (1991-94) was a first-round draft pick who washed out quickly in the bigs. In 164 major-league at-bats he had 41 strikeouts and four walks. Skippy Roberge (1941-46) is a backup infielder named Skippy. Sean Rodriguez (2008- ), a backup infielder who at least isn’t named Skippy, will almost certainly break into the starting lineup of this team.
Manager: Stanley Robinson, who managed the Cardinals for a couple of months in 1905. Skipper Roberts can help him, since they must have called him "Skipper" for a reason.
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