Wednesday, November 18, 2009

SK: The Sean Kingston 911s






Infield: First baseman Sam King (1884) played in a dozen games and batted .178. Second baseman Skeeter Kell (1954) was much better. He played in 75 games and batted .222. Third baseman Steve Kiefer (1984-89) actually made it to 100 games (105, to be exact), but he only batted .192. Shortstop Slammin' Sammy Khalifa (1985-87) is the star of this lot. He played in 164 games and batted .219. But then, we should have known Khalifa would stand out - he was a first-round draft pick (seventh pick overall, 1982).



Outfield: Steve Kemp (1977-88) was a terrfic left fielder who got on base and hit with power and played solid, hustling defense - and his career was derailed by back problems just as he was hitting his peak. If he had stayed healthy he likely would have had a career somewhere on the scale between Paul O'Neill and Dave Winfield. Steve King (1889-90) hit .353 with 18 doubles in 274 at-bats. Yeah, yeah, short career in the 1880s in a ballpark called Haymakers' Grounds (which doesn't sound like it would favor pitchers). He's still our starting right fielder. Stan Keyes never made it to the majors, but he knocked around the minors for 17 years, collecting 2,652 hits and 344 home runs. We're giving him the center field job.



Catcher: Steve Korcheck (1954-59) batted .159 in 58 games.



Rotation: You're getting the sense that this team isn't going to score many runs. But it won't allow many, either. Not when lefty Sandy Koufax (1955-66) is on the hill. His story is well known. He was a nice Jewish boy from Brooklyn who signed with his hometown Dodgers and struggled for several years but showed great potential. When the Dodgers moved to L.A., they initially played in a ballpark that was disastrous for left-handed pitchers. But then the team moved into spacious Dodger Stadium, baseball tweaked some rules to give pitchers an advantage, and Koufax emerged - for a few years - as one of the most dominant pitchers of all time. From 1962-66 he was great on the road and basically unhittable at Dodger Stadium. Koufax would work 300 innings a year and simply dominate. He won five straight ERA titles, three Cy Young Awards and an MVP; he also won four pennants and three World Series titles, and his career ERA in seven World Series starts was 0.95. He blew his elbow out and retired at age 30. In his final season he led the NL in wins (27), ERA (1.73) and strikeouts (317), and there's the sense that he could have stuck around and battled his way through injuries for a few more years, but he didn't want to. Koufax retired without regrets, figuring that (a.) he didn't want to end up with a deformed, painful left arm, and (b.) it would be beneath his dignity to be constantly struggling with injuries and trying to get back into form. Because of his pitching, his poise and his classy exit, Koufax remains a respected, almost mythical figure, in baseball circles. Silver King (1886-97) won 200 games back in those days of pitchers working 400 and 500 innings per year. In fact, he worked 585 innings and won 45 games in 1888 - at age 20. Scott Kazmir (2004- ) doesn't quite match up to those two fellows, but he's a fine contemporary pitcher and for a while there he held most of the Tampa Rays' franchise career pitching records. He was one of the best young pitchers in baseball in his early 20s, but the injuries set in just as he should have been hitting his prime, and at this point he is adrift in his late 20s. Could still get it back together, but that is looking less and less likely at this point. Lefty Scott Karl (1995-2000) was a very average starter - a .500 pitcher with a league-average ERA. The righthanded Steve Kline (1970-77) was basically the same thing, though he had a fine year (16-9, 2.40) for the Yankees in 1972.



Bullpen: Lefthanded Steve Kline (1997-2007) worked a lot of games but not a lot of innings, as some lefty relievers do. He was quite good in his role. On this team, his role is closer. Steve Karsay (1993-96) will also do some closing but will primarily be a set-up guy. Scott Kamieniecki (1991-2000) split his career between the rotation and the pen, but he'll work regularly in relief for this outfit. Steve Kealey (1968-73) showed promise but was done in his mid-20s. Steve Kent (2002) was a lefty who was not terribly effective during his one season in the bigs at age 23. Stan Klopp (1944) pitched a few games during World War II. South Korean righty Sun-Woo Kim (2001-06) had trouble getting people out on these shores. Japanese junkballer Satoru Komiyama (2002) pitched briefly and ineffectively for the Mets at age 36. His repertoire include a 50 mph "shakeball."



Bench: As you would expect with the meager starting lineup, the bench is even thinner. We'll make do with infielder Speed Kelly (1909), outfielder Snapper Kennedy (1902) and Stanislaw "Steve" Kuczek (1949), whose only appearance was as a pinch-hitter (he doubled, giving him a 2.000 career slugging percentage). Utility infielder Sean Kazmar (2008- ) batted .205 in a brief trial with the Padres in 2008. He's still hanging around in the minors.



Manager: No one with these initials has ever managed or coached in the big leagues. We're naming Steve Kiefer as interim manager because someone's got to fill out the lineup card.



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