Infield: Third baseman Stan Hack (1932-47) was a terrific leadoff-type batter, a .300 hitter who drew walks and ran well enough to lead the league in steals twice. He was a very, very talented player who has never been fully appreciated - even in Chicago - because his skill set is the sort that often flies below the radar of most fans and media members. He scored 1,200 runs in his career. Match him up with Sammy Hughes, the fine Negro League second baseman who was a great contact hitter, bunter and hit-and-run man, as well as a spectacular defender. Put Hack in the leadoff spot and Hughes in the two hole and you've got a solid top of the order. Shortstop Solly Hemus (1949-59) batted .273 and drew enough walks to push his on-base percentage to .390. He could also go near the top of the order, helping to set the table for the sluggers. Big Sam Horn (1987-95), the lefty slugger, platoons with Shea Hillenbrand (2001-07) at first base. Horn was a fearsome slugger who developed a cult following after he hit 14 home runs in 158 at-bats as a 23-year-old Red Sox rookie. He never really moved forward from that point and his career fizzled, but he was a big stron guy who could hit home runs. Hillenbrand was sort of the opposite, a .280-.290 hitter with mid-range power, but he didn't get on base enough and was never more than a spare part. The platoon arrangement will help maximize the contributions of both players.
Outfield: Circus Solly Hofman (1903-16) was a decent hitter and a colorful figure who will start in center field. He was once described as "only serious when he sleeps," but he was a smart, attentive ballplayer - in fact, it was Hofman who noticed that Fred Merkle had failed to touch second base on the infamous "bonehead" play in 1908 that cost the Giants the pennant. Left fielder Steve Henderson (1977-88) was a good hitter, a bad fielder and is most famous as the guy who the Mets got in return when they traded Tom Seaver. Given regular playing time, he would reach double digits in both home runs and steals, and he would get on base a bit. Right fielder Scott Hairston (2004- ), a third-generation major-leaguer, has some power but doesn’t get on base enough.
Catcher: Scott Hatteberg (1995-2008) starts against righties, Shanty Hogan (1925-37) against the lefties. Both decent hitters with a bit of pop. A natural platoon combination. Hogan was a heavyset guy - listed at 6-1, 240 - but when he gave in to criticism and slimmed down, he stopped hitting and his career ended in his early 30s.
Rotation: Slim Harriss (1920-28) was a 6-foot-6, 180-pound stringbean. Hence, the nickname “Slim.” His actual given name was William Jennings Bryan Harriss. He was a pretty average pitcher on some truly awful teams in Philly and Boston, so he had a career record of 95-135, but he wasn’t really that bad. Steve Hargan (1965-77) wasn’t quite as good as Harriss, and his teams weren’t quite as bad either, but he was an OK pitcher on some weak teams. Hence, the 87-107 career record. Continuing with this theme, Sid Hudson (1940-54) was a fairly average pitcher, too. For the Washington Senators. Hence, the 104-152 career record. So your top three starters are a collective 108 games below .500 over the course of their careers, and yet none of them was a terrible pitcher. Spec Harkness (1910-11) wasn’t as good as those three guys, but he played for good teams and had a 12-9 career record. and Shawn Hill (2004-10) wasn’t a very good pitcher, and he probably deserves his 9-18 career record.
Bullpen: Closer Steve Howe (1980-96) was a very good pitcher who had trouble keeping his nose clean. Quite literally. Howe was suspended seven times for issues related to his cocaine habit, and he remains the poster boy for baseball's drug problems in the 1980s. (In one of the "Naked Gun" sequels, Leslie Nielsen warns someone: "This is your last chance - and I'm not talking about one of those 'Major League Baseball Steve Howe' kind of last chances.") When he was able to pitch he was very good - NL Rookie of the Year, 47 wins and 91 saves in his career. Howe died at age 48 when he overturned his pickup truck while high on drugs. Lefty Steve Hamilton (1961-72) had a fine career, mostly with the Yankees, and he occasionally threw a blooper/eephus pitch that he called the Folly Floater. He can fill in at closer when Howe is suspended, incarcerated or otherwise unavailable. Shigetoshi Hasegawa (1997-2005) was a very good reliever, first in his native Japan and then in Anaheim and Seattle. Scott Holman (1980-83) showed some promise but got hurt and didn’t last long. He was finished by age 26, but only because no one else would give him a shot after he went 0-10 in his last shot at Triple-A. Shawn Hillegas (1987-93) was a hot Dodgers prospect who pitched pretty well in a call-up at age 22, so he was ticketed for stardom. He never got there, but people kept giving him chances. Shovel Hodge (1920-22) and Snipe Hansen (1930-35) had better nicknames than pitching lines.
Bench: With the platoons at first base (Horn and Hillebrand) and catcher (Hatteberg and Hogan), there will always be two decent sticks on the bench ready to pinch-hit. Steve Hovley (1969-73), a competent outfielder, was a key figure in Bouton’s “Ball Four,” a young kid with a bit of the counter-culture in him back in ’69. Shane Halter (1997-2004) and Sadie Houck (1879-87) are utility players separated by a century.
Manager: Solly Hemus managed the Cardinals for a few years, including a stint as player-manager. He’ll be doing the same with this team. Stan Hack, who also did some managing, will help out.
Outfield: Circus Solly Hofman (1903-16) was a decent hitter and a colorful figure who will start in center field. He was once described as "only serious when he sleeps," but he was a smart, attentive ballplayer - in fact, it was Hofman who noticed that Fred Merkle had failed to touch second base on the infamous "bonehead" play in 1908 that cost the Giants the pennant. Left fielder Steve Henderson (1977-88) was a good hitter, a bad fielder and is most famous as the guy who the Mets got in return when they traded Tom Seaver. Given regular playing time, he would reach double digits in both home runs and steals, and he would get on base a bit. Right fielder Scott Hairston (2004- ), a third-generation major-leaguer, has some power but doesn’t get on base enough.
Catcher: Scott Hatteberg (1995-2008) starts against righties, Shanty Hogan (1925-37) against the lefties. Both decent hitters with a bit of pop. A natural platoon combination. Hogan was a heavyset guy - listed at 6-1, 240 - but when he gave in to criticism and slimmed down, he stopped hitting and his career ended in his early 30s.
Rotation: Slim Harriss (1920-28) was a 6-foot-6, 180-pound stringbean. Hence, the nickname “Slim.” His actual given name was William Jennings Bryan Harriss. He was a pretty average pitcher on some truly awful teams in Philly and Boston, so he had a career record of 95-135, but he wasn’t really that bad. Steve Hargan (1965-77) wasn’t quite as good as Harriss, and his teams weren’t quite as bad either, but he was an OK pitcher on some weak teams. Hence, the 87-107 career record. Continuing with this theme, Sid Hudson (1940-54) was a fairly average pitcher, too. For the Washington Senators. Hence, the 104-152 career record. So your top three starters are a collective 108 games below .500 over the course of their careers, and yet none of them was a terrible pitcher. Spec Harkness (1910-11) wasn’t as good as those three guys, but he played for good teams and had a 12-9 career record. and Shawn Hill (2004-10) wasn’t a very good pitcher, and he probably deserves his 9-18 career record.
Bullpen: Closer Steve Howe (1980-96) was a very good pitcher who had trouble keeping his nose clean. Quite literally. Howe was suspended seven times for issues related to his cocaine habit, and he remains the poster boy for baseball's drug problems in the 1980s. (In one of the "Naked Gun" sequels, Leslie Nielsen warns someone: "This is your last chance - and I'm not talking about one of those 'Major League Baseball Steve Howe' kind of last chances.") When he was able to pitch he was very good - NL Rookie of the Year, 47 wins and 91 saves in his career. Howe died at age 48 when he overturned his pickup truck while high on drugs. Lefty Steve Hamilton (1961-72) had a fine career, mostly with the Yankees, and he occasionally threw a blooper/eephus pitch that he called the Folly Floater. He can fill in at closer when Howe is suspended, incarcerated or otherwise unavailable. Shigetoshi Hasegawa (1997-2005) was a very good reliever, first in his native Japan and then in Anaheim and Seattle. Scott Holman (1980-83) showed some promise but got hurt and didn’t last long. He was finished by age 26, but only because no one else would give him a shot after he went 0-10 in his last shot at Triple-A. Shawn Hillegas (1987-93) was a hot Dodgers prospect who pitched pretty well in a call-up at age 22, so he was ticketed for stardom. He never got there, but people kept giving him chances. Shovel Hodge (1920-22) and Snipe Hansen (1930-35) had better nicknames than pitching lines.
Bench: With the platoons at first base (Horn and Hillebrand) and catcher (Hatteberg and Hogan), there will always be two decent sticks on the bench ready to pinch-hit. Steve Hovley (1969-73), a competent outfielder, was a key figure in Bouton’s “Ball Four,” a young kid with a bit of the counter-culture in him back in ’69. Shane Halter (1997-2004) and Sadie Houck (1879-87) are utility players separated by a century.
Manager: Solly Hemus managed the Cardinals for a few years, including a stint as player-manager. He’ll be doing the same with this team. Stan Hack, who also did some managing, will help out.
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