Infield: Third baseman Kevin Seitzer (1986-97) made quite a splash as a rooke with the Royals, piling up 207 hits (56 for extra bases) and adding 80 walks so that he scored 105 runs. He lost the Rookie of the Year award to McGwire, but it was still a heck of a debut. He never got much better than that, but then, he didn't have to get much better to be a productive player. He finished his career with a .295 batting average, with more walks than strikeouts. Shortstop Kurt Stillwell (1986-96) will be stationed to Seitzer's left, as he was for a few years in the Kansas City infield. Stillwell had a good arm but was an overrated defensive player, and he was your basic .250 hitter with 40 walks and 20 doubles per year. Ken Smith (1981-83) was a decent enough minor-league first baseman who could never quite push Bob Horner off the bag in Atlanta. Second baseman Kal Segrist (1952-55) had a long, productive minor-league career and a short, forgettable one in the majors.
Outfield: If Ken Singleton (1970-84) had speed, he would have been a near-perfect player. He was a big switch-hitter who batted .282 for his career, and he drew 90-100 walks per year, with gap power and about 20 home runs per season. He certainly wasn't a Gold Glove fielder, but he was a hustling ballplayer who got the job done. He'll anchor right field for this team. In left field, Kip Selbach (1894-1906) was a fine player in the fast-paced turn-of-the-century game. He batted .295, stealing bases and ripping doubles and triples and playing a solid defense. Klondike Smith (1912) had a brief major-league career in which he batted .185. We don't know for sure that he was a center fielder, but we know for sure that Singleton and Selbach weren't, so Klondike is patrolling center for now. (His given name was Armstrong Frederick Smith, and he was born in London - the one in England, not the one in Ontario - so there's no obvious reason he was called Klondike, other than that it's a cool nickname.)
Catcher: Kurt Suzuki (2007- ) is in mid-career with Oakland but has shown himself to be a consistent .270 hitter with some gap power, and that's just fine for a catcher.
Rotation: Kevin Slowey (2007- ) was a member of the 2008 gold medal Olympic team, and he has gotten his career off to a good start for the Minnesota Twins. We'll see where he goes from this point. Ken Schrom (1980-87) also pitched for the Twins, and in his best season he won 15 games for the in '83. Kirk Saarloos (2002- ) had some seasons when he was halfways-decent, and other seasons when you'd rather have a Sarlacc on the mound. Kid Speer (1909) had a 2.83 ERA in a brief major-league career, and at the time that he pitched, a 2.83 ERA was nothing to brag about. But he appears to have been a decent minor-league pitcher, good enough that he still had a winning record at age 39 in a Class D league in Vermont. Karl Spooner (1954-55) was one of the great flashes in the pan in baseball history. At age 23, after going 21-9 in the minors, he made two starts for Brooklyn. Both complete games, both shutouts, allowing seven hits, six walks and striking out 27. Yowza. That kind of debut attracts attention. The arm troubles set in the following year, limiting him to just under 100 innings, but he pitched reasonably well and was part of the "Boys of Summer" World Series championship team. But the arm troubles got worse, and he never pitched in the majors again after the '55 World Series. But he was fun while he lasted.
Bullpen: Closer Kazuhiro Sasaki (2000-03) had a great career in his native Japan, then came to the U.S. and saved 129 games for the Seattle Mariners before returning to Japan and continuing his career there. He was a popular player in Seattle and a tabloid target in Japan for rampant rumors about mistresses and alcoholism, and when he claimed to have broken three ribs when he fell down some steps while carrying a suitcase, folks had a field day speculating how the injury really happened. Ken Sanders (1964-76) was a good reliever for a decade spread across eight teams, and a really great reliever for a few years in Milwaukee. He graduated from the same high school as Mike, so he gets extra points. Kyle Snyder (2003-08) has largely gotten hammered in his major-league career, but he did win a World Series ring with the '07 Red Sox. Keith Shepherd (1992-96) got released a lot, so as a result he played four seasons in the majors for four different teams. Kim Seaman (1979-80) is best known, to the extent that he is known at all, as a throw-in among the 11 players who changed hands in a trade between the Padres and the Cardinals involving Rollie Fingers, Gene Tenace and Terry Kennedy. (Since the Cardinals sent Fingers to Milwakee a few days later in a seven-player deal, it was really more like an elaborate three-team, 17-player trade.) Karl "Mach" Schnell (1922-23) pitched briefly and forgettably for the Reds. Kennie Steenstra (1998) had a fine collegiate career at Wichita State and pitched well for a few years in the minors, but he had a 10.80 career ERA in the majors.
Bench: There are two backup catchers - Kelly Stinnett (1994-2007) and Kelly Shoppach (2005- ). That's just how it works out. Stinnett spent most of his career as a backup, but Shoppach has enough power to be a useful player in a larger role, so he might be pressed into duty as a backup first baseman and will certainly do a lot of pinch-hitting here. Shortstop Kevin Stocker (1993-2000) had .324 as a rookie on the 1993 pennant-winning Phillies, but that was a fluke. He was a .250 hitter with not a whole lot to offer offensively. Utility guy Kevin Sefcik (1995-2001) was a teammate of Stocker's with the Phillies and was a better hitter. There were two outfielders named Keith Smith who had long minor-league and brief major-league careers around the same time. We're picking Keith Smith (1977-80) over Keith Smith (1984-85) for a couple of reasons. First off, a .207 average in 53 games isn't much, but it's better than a career record of 0-for-4, and besides, the first guy looks like a better hitter in the minors, too. Most importantly, though, we're taking Keith Laverne Smith over Patrick Keith Smith because he scores higher on the initial purity test.
Manager: Ken Silvestri took over the Atlanta Braves when Billy Hitchcock was fired in the final week of the 1967 season. The team lost all three games that Silvestri managed. For a brief time there, he managed Hank Aaron, Joe Torre, Felipe Alou and Phil Niekro. He had a long career as a coach with several major-league teams.
Outfield: If Ken Singleton (1970-84) had speed, he would have been a near-perfect player. He was a big switch-hitter who batted .282 for his career, and he drew 90-100 walks per year, with gap power and about 20 home runs per season. He certainly wasn't a Gold Glove fielder, but he was a hustling ballplayer who got the job done. He'll anchor right field for this team. In left field, Kip Selbach (1894-1906) was a fine player in the fast-paced turn-of-the-century game. He batted .295, stealing bases and ripping doubles and triples and playing a solid defense. Klondike Smith (1912) had a brief major-league career in which he batted .185. We don't know for sure that he was a center fielder, but we know for sure that Singleton and Selbach weren't, so Klondike is patrolling center for now. (His given name was Armstrong Frederick Smith, and he was born in London - the one in England, not the one in Ontario - so there's no obvious reason he was called Klondike, other than that it's a cool nickname.)
Catcher: Kurt Suzuki (2007- ) is in mid-career with Oakland but has shown himself to be a consistent .270 hitter with some gap power, and that's just fine for a catcher.
Rotation: Kevin Slowey (2007- ) was a member of the 2008 gold medal Olympic team, and he has gotten his career off to a good start for the Minnesota Twins. We'll see where he goes from this point. Ken Schrom (1980-87) also pitched for the Twins, and in his best season he won 15 games for the in '83. Kirk Saarloos (2002- ) had some seasons when he was halfways-decent, and other seasons when you'd rather have a Sarlacc on the mound. Kid Speer (1909) had a 2.83 ERA in a brief major-league career, and at the time that he pitched, a 2.83 ERA was nothing to brag about. But he appears to have been a decent minor-league pitcher, good enough that he still had a winning record at age 39 in a Class D league in Vermont. Karl Spooner (1954-55) was one of the great flashes in the pan in baseball history. At age 23, after going 21-9 in the minors, he made two starts for Brooklyn. Both complete games, both shutouts, allowing seven hits, six walks and striking out 27. Yowza. That kind of debut attracts attention. The arm troubles set in the following year, limiting him to just under 100 innings, but he pitched reasonably well and was part of the "Boys of Summer" World Series championship team. But the arm troubles got worse, and he never pitched in the majors again after the '55 World Series. But he was fun while he lasted.
Bullpen: Closer Kazuhiro Sasaki (2000-03) had a great career in his native Japan, then came to the U.S. and saved 129 games for the Seattle Mariners before returning to Japan and continuing his career there. He was a popular player in Seattle and a tabloid target in Japan for rampant rumors about mistresses and alcoholism, and when he claimed to have broken three ribs when he fell down some steps while carrying a suitcase, folks had a field day speculating how the injury really happened. Ken Sanders (1964-76) was a good reliever for a decade spread across eight teams, and a really great reliever for a few years in Milwaukee. He graduated from the same high school as Mike, so he gets extra points. Kyle Snyder (2003-08) has largely gotten hammered in his major-league career, but he did win a World Series ring with the '07 Red Sox. Keith Shepherd (1992-96) got released a lot, so as a result he played four seasons in the majors for four different teams. Kim Seaman (1979-80) is best known, to the extent that he is known at all, as a throw-in among the 11 players who changed hands in a trade between the Padres and the Cardinals involving Rollie Fingers, Gene Tenace and Terry Kennedy. (Since the Cardinals sent Fingers to Milwakee a few days later in a seven-player deal, it was really more like an elaborate three-team, 17-player trade.) Karl "Mach" Schnell (1922-23) pitched briefly and forgettably for the Reds. Kennie Steenstra (1998) had a fine collegiate career at Wichita State and pitched well for a few years in the minors, but he had a 10.80 career ERA in the majors.
Bench: There are two backup catchers - Kelly Stinnett (1994-2007) and Kelly Shoppach (2005- ). That's just how it works out. Stinnett spent most of his career as a backup, but Shoppach has enough power to be a useful player in a larger role, so he might be pressed into duty as a backup first baseman and will certainly do a lot of pinch-hitting here. Shortstop Kevin Stocker (1993-2000) had .324 as a rookie on the 1993 pennant-winning Phillies, but that was a fluke. He was a .250 hitter with not a whole lot to offer offensively. Utility guy Kevin Sefcik (1995-2001) was a teammate of Stocker's with the Phillies and was a better hitter. There were two outfielders named Keith Smith who had long minor-league and brief major-league careers around the same time. We're picking Keith Smith (1977-80) over Keith Smith (1984-85) for a couple of reasons. First off, a .207 average in 53 games isn't much, but it's better than a career record of 0-for-4, and besides, the first guy looks like a better hitter in the minors, too. Most importantly, though, we're taking Keith Laverne Smith over Patrick Keith Smith because he scores higher on the initial purity test.
Manager: Ken Silvestri took over the Atlanta Braves when Billy Hitchcock was fired in the final week of the 1967 season. The team lost all three games that Silvestri managed. For a brief time there, he managed Hank Aaron, Joe Torre, Felipe Alou and Phil Niekro. He had a long career as a coach with several major-league teams.
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