Infield: Keith Hernandez (1974-90) batted .300, drew walks, hit doubles and played first base as well as anyone ever has. He tied for an MVP award, won World Series titles in St. Louis and New York, smoked cigarettes in the dugout and got caught up in baseball’s cocaine problems in the 1980s. After his playing days were done, he appeared in a couple of memorable “Seinfeld” episodes, talking about which “base” he was going to get to with Elaine and getting Jerry very jealous and very confused. (And, no, he didn't spit on Kramer after Newman taunted him and called him "pretty boy." That was Roger McDowell.) Second baseman Ken Hubbs (1961-63) won the NL Rookie of the Year Award in 1962 despite producing zero offense and leading the league in both strikeouts and double plays. (He won the Rookie of the Year because there weren't any really good rookies in the NL that year, and Donn Clendenon only played half a season. It's harder to grasp how he won the Gold Glove award that year, interrupting Bill Mazeroski’s string even though Maz had better range, a higher fielding percentage and turned 35 more double plays.) He had a similar year in 1963 – cut down on the Ks and the GDPs but also lost 25 points in batting average – and this time he took home no awards. Then, following the 1963 season, he died at age 22 when the plane he was piloting crashed into a lake in Utah. Third baseman Kevin Higgins (1993) was really a catcher, but in his 71-game career with the Padres, he also managed to log defensive innings at first, second and third base, as well as left and right field. Given a full season he might have managed short and center, too. As it is, he’ll be starting at third for this team. When your starting third baseman is actually a catcher who batted .221 but he gets the starting job because he played seven innings at third base, well, that’s not a good thing. Shortstop Ken Hamlin (1957-66) was an actual shortstop, which is about the best you can say about him.
Outfield: Right fielder Ken “Hawk” Harrelson (1963-71) finished his career with 131 home runs and 421 RBI, roughly half of those totals coming in 1968 and ’69. He was the cleanup batter on the pennant-winning 1967 Red Sox. An avid golfer who actually had a brief professional career on the links, he took to wearing a golf glove while batting, thus popularizing the use of batting gloves, which had rarely been used before the 1960s. Best known now as the most shameless homer among all major-league broadcaster, openly rooting for the White Sox while doing play-by-play. Left fielder Ken Henderson (1965-80) played at the same time as Ken Harrelson and finished with halfways similar career totals of 122 home runs and 576 RBI in a substantially longer career. He was a switch-hitter who came up with the Giants at a period when they were producing starting outfielders like an assembly line, and as such he was sent drifting around the majors, playing with seven teams along the way. Center fielder Ken Hunt (1959-64) was the stepfather of Butch “Eddie Munster” Patrick. He was close friends with Roger Maris, and the two are buried in adjacent cemetery plots in North Dakota. He was a decent enough outfielder, and in his only season as a starter he had 25 homers and 84 RBI for the Angels.
Catcher: Koyie Hill (2003- ) is a career backup who basically hits his weight, which is to say somewhere between 210-220.
Rotation: Lefty Ken Holtzman (1965-79) won 174 games in his career and pitched for some great teams in Chicago and Oakland. He was part of the A’s team that won three straight World Series titles, and he had a 2.30 ERA in a dozen postseason starts. He threw two no-hitters for the Cubs, and he surpassed Sandy Koufax to become the winningest Jewish pitcher in baseball history. Kirby Higbe (1937-50) was a fascinating character – a hard-throwing, hard-living country boy who won 118 games, mostly for the Brooklyn Dodgers in the years leading up to the “Boys of Summer” era. Higbe said that when he was growing up he developed his fastball by throwing rocks at black kids (“and they returned the favor”), and he was traded from the Dodgers because he refused to play alongside Jackie Robinson. He got into legal problems after his retirement and did some prison time, and he wrote a colorful, candid autobiography called “The High, Hard One.” Ken Heintzelman (1937-52) was a very average pitcher who went 77-98. In his best season, he won 17 games from the 1949 Phillies, and he was part of the Whiz Kids team that won the pennant in 1950 (he pitched well but took no decision in Game 3 of the World Series against the Yankees). Ken Hill (1998-2001) won 117 games in the majors, spread out over seven teams in 14 seasons. He was on his way to 20 wins (and a possible division title with the Expos) in 1994 when the strike hit. He finished at 16-5 that year. Righty Ken Hunt (1961), who played baseball and basketball at Brigham Young, went 16-6 as a 21-year-old Single-A pitcher in 1960, and then the next year he pitched reasonably well in 22 starts for the pennant-winning Cincinnati Reds. He went back to the minors, hurt his arm and never made it back to the bigs.
Bullpen: Closer Ken Howell (1984-90) was a hard-throwing reliever for the Dodgers who later spend a couple of seasons in the Phillies’ rotation. He spent a couple of years in the circle of closers that L.A. used after Steve Howe’s career disappeared up his nose. Lefty Kevin Hickey (1981-91) grew up in Chicago and playing in a softball league when he was signed by the White Sox out of one of Bill Veeck’s annual tryout camps for local talent. He ended up pitching several fairly effective years in the majors. Ken Holloway (1922-30) was a righty swingman for the Detroit Tigers near the end of the Ty Cobb era. Ken Holcombe (1945-53) won 133 games in the minors but went 18-32 in the majors. He was a decent enough pitcher, but he worked for some bad teams, had some hard luck and, yes, he had some seasons when he just wasn’t very good. Kevin Hart (2007- ) is a big righty who got knocked around with the Cubs for a few years and is now getting knocked around in the Pirates organization. Kevin Hagen (1983-84) had a couple of brief call-ups for the Cardinals in between the 1982 and 1985 pennants. He was young and pitched reasonably well, and he continued to pitch well in the minors, but he never got another shot in the bigs. Kevin Hodges (2000) had a long career in the minors but managed just a handful of games in the majors.
Bench: Kent Hrbek (1981-94), a very talented first baseman but not good enough to dislodge Keith Hernandez, is lobbying hard for the DH rule. Hrbek was a .282 hitter who drew a good number of walks and hit 293 home runs while playing a key role on the Minnesota Twins’ two championship teams. He was a big, slow lug, but he had good hands and played a solid first base. (He played one inning at third base in 1990 – not enough to make him the starter here, but if he puts in some practice time at the hot corner, we’ll put Kevin Higgins on notice, since Higgins wasn’t really a third baseman either.) Keith Hughes (1987-93) was a lefty outfielder who was always a prospect but never hit in the majors. Ken ("I Heart") Huckaby (2001-06) was a backup catcher who couldn’t hit. Kevin Hooper (2005-06) was a speedy infielder who had a long minor-league career but never got a foothold in the majors. Ken Harvey (2001-05) was a hulking first baseman for the Royals who actually got selected to the 2004 All-Star Game because there had to be someone from K.C. on the American League team. Considering that he’s behind Hrbek and Hernandez at first, he will basically serve as a 240-pound pinch-hitter.
Manager: Until someone else applies for the job, it will go to Ken “Hawk” Harrelson, who never managed or coached in the majors but who had an brief run as general manager of the White Sox that was most noteworthy for (a.) his decision to fire Tony LaRussa and (b.) his propensity to do much of his work from the golf course.
Outfield: Right fielder Ken “Hawk” Harrelson (1963-71) finished his career with 131 home runs and 421 RBI, roughly half of those totals coming in 1968 and ’69. He was the cleanup batter on the pennant-winning 1967 Red Sox. An avid golfer who actually had a brief professional career on the links, he took to wearing a golf glove while batting, thus popularizing the use of batting gloves, which had rarely been used before the 1960s. Best known now as the most shameless homer among all major-league broadcaster, openly rooting for the White Sox while doing play-by-play. Left fielder Ken Henderson (1965-80) played at the same time as Ken Harrelson and finished with halfways similar career totals of 122 home runs and 576 RBI in a substantially longer career. He was a switch-hitter who came up with the Giants at a period when they were producing starting outfielders like an assembly line, and as such he was sent drifting around the majors, playing with seven teams along the way. Center fielder Ken Hunt (1959-64) was the stepfather of Butch “Eddie Munster” Patrick. He was close friends with Roger Maris, and the two are buried in adjacent cemetery plots in North Dakota. He was a decent enough outfielder, and in his only season as a starter he had 25 homers and 84 RBI for the Angels.
Catcher: Koyie Hill (2003- ) is a career backup who basically hits his weight, which is to say somewhere between 210-220.
Rotation: Lefty Ken Holtzman (1965-79) won 174 games in his career and pitched for some great teams in Chicago and Oakland. He was part of the A’s team that won three straight World Series titles, and he had a 2.30 ERA in a dozen postseason starts. He threw two no-hitters for the Cubs, and he surpassed Sandy Koufax to become the winningest Jewish pitcher in baseball history. Kirby Higbe (1937-50) was a fascinating character – a hard-throwing, hard-living country boy who won 118 games, mostly for the Brooklyn Dodgers in the years leading up to the “Boys of Summer” era. Higbe said that when he was growing up he developed his fastball by throwing rocks at black kids (“and they returned the favor”), and he was traded from the Dodgers because he refused to play alongside Jackie Robinson. He got into legal problems after his retirement and did some prison time, and he wrote a colorful, candid autobiography called “The High, Hard One.” Ken Heintzelman (1937-52) was a very average pitcher who went 77-98. In his best season, he won 17 games from the 1949 Phillies, and he was part of the Whiz Kids team that won the pennant in 1950 (he pitched well but took no decision in Game 3 of the World Series against the Yankees). Ken Hill (1998-2001) won 117 games in the majors, spread out over seven teams in 14 seasons. He was on his way to 20 wins (and a possible division title with the Expos) in 1994 when the strike hit. He finished at 16-5 that year. Righty Ken Hunt (1961), who played baseball and basketball at Brigham Young, went 16-6 as a 21-year-old Single-A pitcher in 1960, and then the next year he pitched reasonably well in 22 starts for the pennant-winning Cincinnati Reds. He went back to the minors, hurt his arm and never made it back to the bigs.
Bullpen: Closer Ken Howell (1984-90) was a hard-throwing reliever for the Dodgers who later spend a couple of seasons in the Phillies’ rotation. He spent a couple of years in the circle of closers that L.A. used after Steve Howe’s career disappeared up his nose. Lefty Kevin Hickey (1981-91) grew up in Chicago and playing in a softball league when he was signed by the White Sox out of one of Bill Veeck’s annual tryout camps for local talent. He ended up pitching several fairly effective years in the majors. Ken Holloway (1922-30) was a righty swingman for the Detroit Tigers near the end of the Ty Cobb era. Ken Holcombe (1945-53) won 133 games in the minors but went 18-32 in the majors. He was a decent enough pitcher, but he worked for some bad teams, had some hard luck and, yes, he had some seasons when he just wasn’t very good. Kevin Hart (2007- ) is a big righty who got knocked around with the Cubs for a few years and is now getting knocked around in the Pirates organization. Kevin Hagen (1983-84) had a couple of brief call-ups for the Cardinals in between the 1982 and 1985 pennants. He was young and pitched reasonably well, and he continued to pitch well in the minors, but he never got another shot in the bigs. Kevin Hodges (2000) had a long career in the minors but managed just a handful of games in the majors.
Bench: Kent Hrbek (1981-94), a very talented first baseman but not good enough to dislodge Keith Hernandez, is lobbying hard for the DH rule. Hrbek was a .282 hitter who drew a good number of walks and hit 293 home runs while playing a key role on the Minnesota Twins’ two championship teams. He was a big, slow lug, but he had good hands and played a solid first base. (He played one inning at third base in 1990 – not enough to make him the starter here, but if he puts in some practice time at the hot corner, we’ll put Kevin Higgins on notice, since Higgins wasn’t really a third baseman either.) Keith Hughes (1987-93) was a lefty outfielder who was always a prospect but never hit in the majors. Ken ("I Heart") Huckaby (2001-06) was a backup catcher who couldn’t hit. Kevin Hooper (2005-06) was a speedy infielder who had a long minor-league career but never got a foothold in the majors. Ken Harvey (2001-05) was a hulking first baseman for the Royals who actually got selected to the 2004 All-Star Game because there had to be someone from K.C. on the American League team. Considering that he’s behind Hrbek and Hernandez at first, he will basically serve as a 240-pound pinch-hitter.
Manager: Until someone else applies for the job, it will go to Ken “Hawk” Harrelson, who never managed or coached in the majors but who had an brief run as general manager of the White Sox that was most noteworthy for (a.) his decision to fire Tony LaRussa and (b.) his propensity to do much of his work from the golf course.
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