KB: The KB Toys

Infield: Ken Boyer (1955-69) was a tremendously consistent third baseman for the Cardinals. He had two seasons with more than 100 RBI, but another six with between 90-98 RBI. He batted .287, hit with power, drew walks and played great defense – a very similar player to Brooks Robinson (Boyer hit better but had a shorter career) and Ron Santo (who had more power but less mobility). He won the MVP in 1964 when he drove in 119 runs for the team that went on to win the World Series. Second baseman Ken Boswell (1967-77) never hit much, but he had his best season for the Miracle Mets of 1969. First baseman Kitty Bransfield (1898-1910) hit line drives, played solid defense and was on the Pittsburgh team that lost in the inaugural World Series in 1903. Kim Batiste (1991-96) was a backup infielder, but he’ll start a shortstop on this team. Over the course of his career he came to the plate 684 times. He batted .234, with 120 strikeouts and just 14 walks. In 1994 he had a career-high 214 plate appearances, in which he grounded into 11 double plays and drew just one walk. Ouch. (His full first name is Kimothy, which has got to be worth something.)

Outfield: Center fielder Ken Berry (1962-75) was no relation to that guy on “F-Troop,” just as Kitty Bransfield had nothing to do with the woman who ran the saloon on “Gunsmoke.” He was a fine defensive centerfielder who batted .255 and didn’t do much else offensively. Right fielder Kevin Bass (1982-95) was a very useful player for a long time, a guy who would hit .270 and, in a good year, hit 30 doubles, close to 20 homers, and steal 20-30 bases. If Kevin Bass was the best player on your roster, you weren’t going to win the pennant, but he was a good enough player to contribute to a winning team. Left fielder Kyle Blanks (2009- ) is a great big guy who is just getting started, but he looks like a good power hitter. In the minors he batted .300 and slugged .500, and in a third of a season in San Diego in 2009 he batted .250 with 10 home runs. He’ll strike out a lot, but he’ll hit some home runs, too. The next few years will shed light on what kind of career lies ahead.

Catcher: Kid Baldwin (1884-90) was a .221 hitter who ran well enough but didn’t do much with the stick.

Rotation: Kevin Brown (1986-2005) was a far better pitcher than most people ever realized. He finished his career with a record of 211-144. A lot of pitchers have made it to Cooperstown with records that weren’t that good. He won two ERA titles and was in the top 10 in that category another five times. He was a hot-tempered fellow, not always popular with fans or teammates, but one hell of a good pitcher. Ken Brett (1967-81) was George’s older brother. He was a terrific hitter and a decent enough pitcher. Kris Benson (1999-2010) was the No. 1 pick in the 1996 draft, and while he never lived up to those expectations, he wasn't a disaster either. He won 70 games in his career. But his pitching was often overshadowed by stories surrounding his wife, who poses for nude photos, plays professional poker and likes to offer her opinion of everything from PETA and gun control (both of which she hates) to the way her husband’s bosses run their baseball teams. Kent Bottenfield (1992-2001) went 18-7 for the Cardinals in 1999. For the rest of his career, he had a record of 28-42. After that 18-win season, the Cardinals packaged him with Adam Kennedy and traded them to the Angels for Jim Edmonds, which worked out pretty well for St. Louis. Kirtley Baker (1890-99) had a career record of 9-38 and a career ERA of 6.16.

Bullpen: Kirk Bullinger (1998-2004) will start out as the closer, sort of by process of elimination. His career ERA of 6.53 isn’t the best thing to find on a pitcher’s resume, but in 620 minor-league games he had an ERA of 2.26 and almost 200 saves. Karl Best (1983-88) has a name that is something of a misnomer, because he was never the best. He should have been named Karl Notbad (but then he wouldn’t qualify for this team). Ken Burkhart (1945-49) was a solid minor-league pitcher who got his shot in the majors when the ballplayers went off to war. He won 18 games for the Cardinals in 1945, and then won a total of nine games in the rest of his career. Kevin Brown (1990-92), the lefty reliever, will never ever be confused with Kevin Brown, the righty starter. Kurt Birkins (2007- ) is a lefty in mid-career who is still trying to establish himself in the majors. Kevin Blankenship (1988-90) and Kevin Beirne (2000-02) were good minor-league pitchers who never got a firm foothold in the majors.

Bench: Kurt Bevacqua (1971-85) was a utility guy who could play infield or outfield. He won a tournament among major-leaguers to see who could blow the biggest gum bubble, and he once turned up in a very funny “King of the Hill” episode as a ringer in a slow-pitch softball game between rival propane dealerships. Kevin Baez (1990-93) was Brooklyn kid who batted .179 with the Mets, and he played a whole lot of shortstop for our hometown Tidewater/Norfolk Tides. Outfielder Kimera Bartee (1996-2001) stole a lot of bases in the minors but never got on base enough to put his speed to use in the bigs. Kevin Barker (1999- ) has hit more than 250 home runs in the minors but just six in the majors. He's still hitting somewhere these days. Backup catcher Kevin Brown (1996-2002) is our third guy on this team with that name. He can room with the lefty reliever, since the righty starter will probably want a suite to himself.

Manager: Ken Boyer is player-manager. He managed the Cardinals for a few years and once won 86 games.