KB: The KB Toys

Infield: Ken Boyer (1955-69) was a tremendously consistent third baseman for the Cardinals. He had two seasons with more than 100 RBI, but another six with between 90-98 RBI. He batted .287, hit with power, drew walks and played great defense – a very similar player to Brooks Robinson (Boyer hit better but had a shorter career) and Ron Santo (who had more power but less mobility). He won the MVP in 1964 when he drove in 119 runs for the team that went on to win the World Series. Second baseman Ken Boswell (1967-77) never hit much, but he had his best season for the Miracle Mets of 1969. First baseman Kitty Bransfield (1898-1910) hit line drives, played solid defense and was on the Pittsburgh team that lost in the inaugural World Series in 1903. Kim Batiste (1991-96) was a backup infielder, but he’ll start a shortstop on this team. Over the course of his career he came to the plate 684 times. He batted .234, with 120 strikeouts and just 14 walks. In 1994 he had a career-high 214 plate appearances, in which he grounded into 11 double plays and drew just one walk. Ouch. (His full first name is Kimothy, which has got to be worth something.)

Outfield: Center fielder Ken Berry (1962-75) was no relation to that guy on “F-Troop,” just as Kitty Bransfield had nothing to do with the woman who ran the saloon on “Gunsmoke.” He was a fine defensive centerfielder who batted .255 and didn’t do much else offensively. Right fielder Kevin Bass (1982-95) was a very useful player for a long time, a guy who would hit .270 and, in a good year, hit 30 doubles, close to 20 homers, and steal 20-30 bases. If Kevin Bass was the best player on your roster, you weren’t going to win the pennant, but he was a good enough player to contribute to a winning team. Left fielder Kyle Blanks (2009- ) is a great big guy who is just getting started, but he looks like a good power hitter. In the minors he batted .300 and slugged .500, and in a third of a season in San Diego in 2009 he batted .250 with 10 home runs. He’ll strike out a lot, but he’ll hit some home runs, too. The next few years will shed light on what kind of career lies ahead.

Catcher: Kid Baldwin (1884-90) was a .221 hitter who ran well enough but didn’t do much with the stick.

Rotation: Kevin Brown (1986-2005) was a far better pitcher than most people ever realized. He finished his career with a record of 211-144. A lot of pitchers have made it to Cooperstown with records that weren’t that good. He won two ERA titles and was in the top 10 in that category another five times. He was a hot-tempered fellow, not always popular with fans or teammates, but one hell of a good pitcher. Ken Brett (1967-81) was George’s older brother. He was a terrific hitter and a decent enough pitcher. Kris Benson (1999-2010) was the No. 1 pick in the 1996 draft, and while he never lived up to those expectations, he wasn't a disaster either. He won 70 games in his career. But his pitching was often overshadowed by stories surrounding his wife, who poses for nude photos, plays professional poker and likes to offer her opinion of everything from PETA and gun control (both of which she hates) to the way her husband’s bosses run their baseball teams. Kent Bottenfield (1992-2001) went 18-7 for the Cardinals in 1999. For the rest of his career, he had a record of 28-42. After that 18-win season, the Cardinals packaged him with Adam Kennedy and traded them to the Angels for Jim Edmonds, which worked out pretty well for St. Louis. Kirtley Baker (1890-99) had a career record of 9-38 and a career ERA of 6.16.

Bullpen: Kirk Bullinger (1998-2004) will start out as the closer, sort of by process of elimination. His career ERA of 6.53 isn’t the best thing to find on a pitcher’s resume, but in 620 minor-league games he had an ERA of 2.26 and almost 200 saves. Karl Best (1983-88) has a name that is something of a misnomer, because he was never the best. He should have been named Karl Notbad (but then he wouldn’t qualify for this team). Ken Burkhart (1945-49) was a solid minor-league pitcher who got his shot in the majors when the ballplayers went off to war. He won 18 games for the Cardinals in 1945, and then won a total of nine games in the rest of his career. Kevin Brown (1990-92), the lefty reliever, will never ever be confused with Kevin Brown, the righty starter. Kurt Birkins (2007- ) is a lefty in mid-career who is still trying to establish himself in the majors. Kevin Blankenship (1988-90) and Kevin Beirne (2000-02) were good minor-league pitchers who never got a firm foothold in the majors.

Bench: Kurt Bevacqua (1971-85) was a utility guy who could play infield or outfield. He won a tournament among major-leaguers to see who could blow the biggest gum bubble, and he once turned up in a very funny “King of the Hill” episode as a ringer in a slow-pitch softball game between rival propane dealerships. Kevin Baez (1990-93) was Brooklyn kid who batted .179 with the Mets, and he played a whole lot of shortstop for our hometown Tidewater/Norfolk Tides. Outfielder Kimera Bartee (1996-2001) stole a lot of bases in the minors but never got on base enough to put his speed to use in the bigs. Kevin Barker (1999- ) has hit more than 250 home runs in the minors but just six in the majors. He's still hitting somewhere these days. Backup catcher Kevin Brown (1996-2002) is our third guy on this team with that name. He can room with the lefty reliever, since the righty starter will probably want a suite to himself.

Manager: Ken Boyer is player-manager. He managed the Cardinals for a few years and once won 86 games.

KH: The King Henrys

Infield: Keith Hernandez (1974-90) batted .300, drew walks, hit doubles and played first base as well as anyone ever has. He tied for an MVP award, won World Series titles in St. Louis and New York, smoked cigarettes in the dugout and got caught up in baseball’s cocaine problems in the 1980s. After his playing days were done, he appeared in a couple of memorable “Seinfeld” episodes, talking about which “base” he was going to get to with Elaine and getting Jerry very jealous and very confused. (And, no, he didn't spit on Kramer after Newman taunted him and called him "pretty boy." That was Roger McDowell.) Second baseman Ken Hubbs (1961-63) won the NL Rookie of the Year Award in 1962 despite producing zero offense and leading the league in both strikeouts and double plays. (He won the Rookie of the Year because there weren't any really good rookies in the NL that year, and Donn Clendenon only played half a season. It's harder to grasp how he won the Gold Glove award that year, interrupting Bill Mazeroski’s string even though Maz had better range, a higher fielding percentage and turned 35 more double plays.) He had a similar year in 1963 – cut down on the Ks and the GDPs but also lost 25 points in batting average – and this time he took home no awards. Then, following the 1963 season, he died at age 22 when the plane he was piloting crashed into a lake in Utah. Third baseman Kevin Higgins (1993) was really a catcher, but in his 71-game career with the Padres, he also managed to log defensive innings at first, second and third base, as well as left and right field. Given a full season he might have managed short and center, too. As it is, he’ll be starting at third for this team. When your starting third baseman is actually a catcher who batted .221 but he gets the starting job because he played seven innings at third base, well, that’s not a good thing. Shortstop Ken Hamlin (1957-66) was an actual shortstop, which is about the best you can say about him.

Outfield: Right fielder Ken “Hawk” Harrelson (1963-71) finished his career with 131 home runs and 421 RBI, roughly half of those totals coming in 1968 and ’69. He was the cleanup batter on the pennant-winning 1967 Red Sox. An avid golfer who actually had a brief professional career on the links, he took to wearing a golf glove while batting, thus popularizing the use of batting gloves, which had rarely been used before the 1960s. Best known now as the most shameless homer among all major-league broadcaster, openly rooting for the White Sox while doing play-by-play. Left fielder Ken Henderson (1965-80) played at the same time as Ken Harrelson and finished with halfways similar career totals of 122 home runs and 576 RBI in a substantially longer career. He was a switch-hitter who came up with the Giants at a period when they were producing starting outfielders like an assembly line, and as such he was sent drifting around the majors, playing with seven teams along the way. Center fielder Ken Hunt (1959-64) was the stepfather of Butch “Eddie Munster” Patrick. He was close friends with Roger Maris, and the two are buried in adjacent cemetery plots in North Dakota. He was a decent enough outfielder, and in his only season as a starter he had 25 homers and 84 RBI for the Angels.

Catcher: Koyie Hill (2003- ) is a career backup who basically hits his weight, which is to say somewhere between 210-220.

Rotation: Lefty Ken Holtzman (1965-79) won 174 games in his career and pitched for some great teams in Chicago and Oakland. He was part of the A’s team that won three straight World Series titles, and he had a 2.30 ERA in a dozen postseason starts. He threw two no-hitters for the Cubs, and he surpassed Sandy Koufax to become the winningest Jewish pitcher in baseball history. Kirby Higbe (1937-50) was a fascinating character – a hard-throwing, hard-living country boy who won 118 games, mostly for the Brooklyn Dodgers in the years leading up to the “Boys of Summer” era. Higbe said that when he was growing up he developed his fastball by throwing rocks at black kids (“and they returned the favor”), and he was traded from the Dodgers because he refused to play alongside Jackie Robinson. He got into legal problems after his retirement and did some prison time, and he wrote a colorful, candid autobiography called “The High, Hard One.” Ken Heintzelman (1937-52) was a very average pitcher who went 77-98. In his best season, he won 17 games from the 1949 Phillies, and he was part of the Whiz Kids team that won the pennant in 1950 (he pitched well but took no decision in Game 3 of the World Series against the Yankees). Ken Hill (1998-2001) won 117 games in the majors, spread out over seven teams in 14 seasons. He was on his way to 20 wins (and a possible division title with the Expos) in 1994 when the strike hit. He finished at 16-5 that year. Righty Ken Hunt (1961), who played baseball and basketball at Brigham Young, went 16-6 as a 21-year-old Single-A pitcher in 1960, and then the next year he pitched reasonably well in 22 starts for the pennant-winning Cincinnati Reds. He went back to the minors, hurt his arm and never made it back to the bigs.

Bullpen: Closer Ken Howell (1984-90) was a hard-throwing reliever for the Dodgers who later spend a couple of seasons in the Phillies’ rotation. He spent a couple of years in the circle of closers that L.A. used after Steve Howe’s career disappeared up his nose. Lefty Kevin Hickey (1981-91) grew up in Chicago and playing in a softball league when he was signed by the White Sox out of one of Bill Veeck’s annual tryout camps for local talent. He ended up pitching several fairly effective years in the majors. Ken Holloway (1922-30) was a righty swingman for the Detroit Tigers near the end of the Ty Cobb era. Ken Holcombe (1945-53) won 133 games in the minors but went 18-32 in the majors. He was a decent enough pitcher, but he worked for some bad teams, had some hard luck and, yes, he had some seasons when he just wasn’t very good. Kevin Hart (2007- ) is a big righty who got knocked around with the Cubs for a few years and is now getting knocked around in the Pirates organization. Kevin Hagen (1983-84) had a couple of brief call-ups for the Cardinals in between the 1982 and 1985 pennants. He was young and pitched reasonably well, and he continued to pitch well in the minors, but he never got another shot in the bigs. Kevin Hodges (2000) had a long career in the minors but managed just a handful of games in the majors.

Bench: Kent Hrbek (1981-94), a very talented first baseman but not good enough to dislodge Keith Hernandez, is lobbying hard for the DH rule. Hrbek was a .282 hitter who drew a good number of walks and hit 293 home runs while playing a key role on the Minnesota Twins’ two championship teams. He was a big, slow lug, but he had good hands and played a solid first base. (He played one inning at third base in 1990 – not enough to make him the starter here, but if he puts in some practice time at the hot corner, we’ll put Kevin Higgins on notice, since Higgins wasn’t really a third baseman either.) Keith Hughes (1987-93) was a lefty outfielder who was always a prospect but never hit in the majors. Ken ("I Heart") Huckaby (2001-06) was a backup catcher who couldn’t hit. Kevin Hooper (2005-06) was a speedy infielder who had a long minor-league career but never got a foothold in the majors. Ken Harvey (2001-05) was a hulking first baseman for the Royals who actually got selected to the 2004 All-Star Game because there had to be someone from K.C. on the American League team. Considering that he’s behind Hrbek and Hernandez at first, he will basically serve as a 240-pound pinch-hitter.

Manager: Until someone else applies for the job, it will go to Ken “Hawk” Harrelson, who never managed or coached in the majors but who had an brief run as general manager of the White Sox that was most noteworthy for (a.) his decision to fire Tony LaRussa and (b.) his propensity to do much of his work from the golf course.

KM: The Kenny Magners

Infield: Kaz Matsui (2004-10) has played mostly second base in the majors, but he can be stretched to play shortstop. We're stretching him in order to avoid planting Kevin Mitchell at short. The infield defense is stretched enough as it is. Matsui was an unspectacular hitter but ran well, played decent defense and was a smart, hustling player. Kevin Millar (1998-2009) spent most of his career at first base and in the outfield, but he did play some third base, so we're going to stretch him to fill that hole. On the other hand, Millar was a pretty decent hitter with 170 career home runs, so he'll help put some runs on the board. First baseman Kevin Maas (1990-95) looked like the guy who would replace Don Mattingly when he joined the Yankees at midseason 1990 and blasted 23 home runs. He never hit like that again, though, and his decline was pretty rapid. He wasn't Donny Baseball with the glove, either, so it's going to be interesting watching him try to handle the throws across the diamond from Millar. Second baseman Keith Miller (1987-95) got moved to the outfield after a while because he was not very good in the infield, thus rounding out a defensive alignment that will scare the holy hell out of this pitching staff. Essentially, the infield consists of a first baseman at third, a second a baseman at short, an outfielder at second and a DH at first base. Fortunately, we have every reason to believe that our groundskeeper (the namesake of this team) will give them a pristine infield that won't provide too many bad hops.

Outfield: Kevin McReynolds (1983-94) played mostly left field but we'll stretch him to play center. He was a big fellow who didn't seem like a speed burner, but he played pretty good defense, was successful on almost 75% of his stolen base attempts, and once stole 21 bases in a season without getting thrown out. He was a consistent hitter who slugged 211 home runs. Right fielder Keith Moreland (1978-89) was built kind of like Kevin McReynolds, but he was no center fielder. In fact, he came up as a catcher but got moved to the outfield, and defensively, he played sort of like a catcher being wedged into the outfield. But he hit pretty well, .279 career with 121 home runs. Left fielder Kevin Mitchell (1984-98) came up as a third baseman and played some shortstop, but he found his niche as a big, bulked-up outfielder. He hit 234 home runs, including 47 with the Giants when he won the NL MVP in 1989. In short, we have a decent corner outfielder being stretched to play center in between two lummoxes. Lord, what a defense.

Catcher: Kirt (What is That) Manwaring (1987-99) was never much of a hitter, but he was good enough with the glove to hang around a long time as a reserve and to plug a hole as a starter for a few years here and there.

Rotation: Kirk McCaskill (1985-96) was basically a .500 pitcher with a league-average ERA, but if you put him on a good team he'd win some ballgames. Career record of 106-108. Kent Mercker (1989-2008) was a lefty who came up as a reliver, moved into the rotation, then finished up as a reliever. He was a valuable role player for a long time. He pitched the first six innings of a combined no-hitter in 1991. It was really kind of a joke, because there really was a clean hit with two out in the ninth, but the official scorer called it an error on Gold Glove third baseman Terry Pendleton, who said later said he had no chance at the ball but worked hard to make it look like maybe he could have touched it a little bit so that the official scorer could call it an error and preserve the no-hitter. It was sort of an epidemic in 1991, when several pitchers were awarded (wink wink) no-hitters because of (wink wink) errors that were called on plays where the fielder had no chance. Anyways, perhaps to correct matters, Mercker went out and threw a complete game no-hitter in 1994. Ken McBride (1959-65) was a decent righty in the American League for a few years, but it's still kind of hard to grasp how a starting pitcher with 40 career victories could have been selected to three all-star games. Kid Madden (1887-91) had a career record of 54-50 back in the prehistoric days. Kevin Morton (1991) was a native New Englander who pitched a few games for the Red Sox at age 22 and didn't do half-bad, but he never went anywhere from that promising starting point.

Bullpen: Kyle McClellan (2008- ) grew up in St. Louis and came up with the Cardinals - first as a reliever, and now as a starter. He's a young kid with a live arm, and he'll get the first shot at the KM closer role. If he doesn't pan out, it could fall to Kevin McGlinchy (1999-2000), who had a really good season for Atlanta at age 22 but then got sidetracked and never got his career back on the rails. Ken Mackenzie (1960-65) was a lefty who spent a few years getting knocked around, but never so bad that someone wasn't willing to bring him back for another shot. Kris Medlen (2009- ) made it to the majors at age 23 and looks like he could be a good one. Between he and McClellan, they could radically reshape this bullpen in the next few years, along with 6-foot-9 fireballer Kam Mickolio (2008- ). Kurt Miller (1994-99) very rarely got anyone out. Kit McKenna (1898-99) sounds like someone who would be Nancy Drew's sidekick in some crime-solving adventure. That's about how he pitched, too.

Bench: Kendry Morales (2006- ) had a big year in 2009 and seemed poised to push Kevin Maas aside at first base. Then, in 2010, he broke his leg while celebrating a home run at home plate - he missed the final 100 games of 2010 and all of 2011. We'll see what he can do when he comes back. Kohly Miller (1892-97) was an infielder who threw left-handed. Mike was once involved with a very lengthy message board thread at whatifsports.com in which one young doofus tried very, very had to convince people that being left-handed was actually a benefit when it comes to turning the double play, suggesting all sorts of physical manuevers that would land you in traction for a month if you tried them. So we're looking forward to watching Kohly Miller to see if he does any of these moves. Outfielder Kevin Mench (2002- ) was nicknamed "Shrek" because his head is so massive. He hit 89 career home runs, and we needed another outfielder named Kevin. Keith Mitchell (1991-98) was an outfielder who bounced around the majors for a few years. Kelly Mann (1989-90) is a backup catcher of no real consequence.

Manager: Ken Macha did a great job with the Oakland A's for four years and was fired after taking his team to the ALCS.

KS: The Kate/Katie Smiths

Infield: Third baseman Kevin Seitzer (1986-97) made quite a splash as a rooke with the Royals, piling up 207 hits (56 for extra bases) and adding 80 walks so that he scored 105 runs. He lost the Rookie of the Year award to McGwire, but it was still a heck of a debut. He never got much better than that, but then, he didn't have to get much better to be a productive player. He finished his career with a .295 batting average, with more walks than strikeouts. Shortstop Kurt Stillwell (1986-96) will be stationed to Seitzer's left, as he was for a few years in the Kansas City infield. Stillwell had a good arm but was an overrated defensive player, and he was your basic .250 hitter with 40 walks and 20 doubles per year. Ken Smith (1981-83) was a decent enough minor-league first baseman who could never quite push Bob Horner off the bag in Atlanta. Second baseman Kal Segrist (1952-55) had a long, productive minor-league career and a short, forgettable one in the majors.

Outfield: If Ken Singleton (1970-84) had speed, he would have been a near-perfect player. He was a big switch-hitter who batted .282 for his career, and he drew 90-100 walks per year, with gap power and about 20 home runs per season. He certainly wasn't a Gold Glove fielder, but he was a hustling ballplayer who got the job done. He'll anchor right field for this team. In left field, Kip Selbach (1894-1906) was a fine player in the fast-paced turn-of-the-century game. He batted .295, stealing bases and ripping doubles and triples and playing a solid defense. Klondike Smith (1912) had a brief major-league career in which he batted .185. We don't know for sure that he was a center fielder, but we know for sure that Singleton and Selbach weren't, so Klondike is patrolling center for now. (His given name was Armstrong Frederick Smith, and he was born in London - the one in England, not the one in Ontario - so there's no obvious reason he was called Klondike, other than that it's a cool nickname.)

Catcher: Kurt Suzuki (2007- ) is in mid-career with Oakland but has shown himself to be a consistent .270 hitter with some gap power, and that's just fine for a catcher.

Rotation: Kevin Slowey (2007- ) was a member of the 2008 gold medal Olympic team, and he has gotten his career off to a good start for the Minnesota Twins. We'll see where he goes from this point. Ken Schrom (1980-87) also pitched for the Twins, and in his best season he won 15 games for the in '83. Kirk Saarloos (2002- ) had some seasons when he was halfways-decent, and other seasons when you'd rather have a Sarlacc on the mound. Kid Speer (1909) had a 2.83 ERA in a brief major-league career, and at the time that he pitched, a 2.83 ERA was nothing to brag about. But he appears to have been a decent minor-league pitcher, good enough that he still had a winning record at age 39 in a Class D league in Vermont. Karl Spooner (1954-55) was one of the great flashes in the pan in baseball history. At age 23, after going 21-9 in the minors, he made two starts for Brooklyn. Both complete games, both shutouts, allowing seven hits, six walks and striking out 27. Yowza. That kind of debut attracts attention. The arm troubles set in the following year, limiting him to just under 100 innings, but he pitched reasonably well and was part of the "Boys of Summer" World Series championship team. But the arm troubles got worse, and he never pitched in the majors again after the '55 World Series. But he was fun while he lasted.

Bullpen: Closer Kazuhiro Sasaki (2000-03) had a great career in his native Japan, then came to the U.S. and saved 129 games for the Seattle Mariners before returning to Japan and continuing his career there. He was a popular player in Seattle and a tabloid target in Japan for rampant rumors about mistresses and alcoholism, and when he claimed to have broken three ribs when he fell down some steps while carrying a suitcase, folks had a field day speculating how the injury really happened. Ken Sanders (1964-76) was a good reliever for a decade spread across eight teams, and a really great reliever for a few years in Milwaukee. He graduated from the same high school as Mike, so he gets extra points. Kyle Snyder (2003-08) has largely gotten hammered in his major-league career, but he did win a World Series ring with the '07 Red Sox. Keith Shepherd (1992-96) got released a lot, so as a result he played four seasons in the majors for four different teams. Kim Seaman (1979-80) is best known, to the extent that he is known at all, as a throw-in among the 11 players who changed hands in a trade between the Padres and the Cardinals involving Rollie Fingers, Gene Tenace and Terry Kennedy. (Since the Cardinals sent Fingers to Milwakee a few days later in a seven-player deal, it was really more like an elaborate three-team, 17-player trade.) Karl "Mach" Schnell (1922-23) pitched briefly and forgettably for the Reds. Kennie Steenstra (1998) had a fine collegiate career at Wichita State and pitched well for a few years in the minors, but he had a 10.80 career ERA in the majors.

Bench: There are two backup catchers - Kelly Stinnett (1994-2007) and Kelly Shoppach (2005- ). That's just how it works out. Stinnett spent most of his career as a backup, but Shoppach has enough power to be a useful player in a larger role, so he might be pressed into duty as a backup first baseman and will certainly do a lot of pinch-hitting here. Shortstop Kevin Stocker (1993-2000) had .324 as a rookie on the 1993 pennant-winning Phillies, but that was a fluke. He was a .250 hitter with not a whole lot to offer offensively. Utility guy Kevin Sefcik (1995-2001) was a teammate of Stocker's with the Phillies and was a better hitter. There were two outfielders named Keith Smith who had long minor-league and brief major-league careers around the same time. We're picking Keith Smith (1977-80) over Keith Smith (1984-85) for a couple of reasons. First off, a .207 average in 53 games isn't much, but it's better than a career record of 0-for-4, and besides, the first guy looks like a better hitter in the minors, too. Most importantly, though, we're taking Keith Laverne Smith over Patrick Keith Smith because he scores higher on the initial purity test.

Manager: Ken Silvestri took over the Atlanta Braves when Billy Hitchcock was fired in the final week of the 1967 season. The team lost all three games that Silvestri managed. For a brief time there, he managed Hank Aaron, Joe Torre, Felipe Alou and Phil Niekro. He had a long career as a coach with several major-league teams.

LB: The Lennie Briscoes

Infield: Lou Boudreau (1938-52) was a great shortstop and a fine team leader. He was a .295 hitter who would have 45 doubles in a good season despite the fact that he wasn’t very fast, so you know he hit the ball hard. He drew 85-95 walks, too, and was an outstanding defensive shortstop. He was the American League MVP in 1948, when he batted .355 and led the Indians to a World Series championship. First baseman Lu Blue (1921-33) arrived just as the “lively ball era” was kicking into high gear, but he was never a power hitter. Instead, he would hit around .290-.300 and draw 100 walks, putting him on base enough to score 100 runs six times. Third baseman Les Bell (1923-31) had his best season in 1926 when he was one of the key players on the Cardinals team that beat the Yankees in the World Series. He batted .325 that season, with 33 doubles, 14 triples and 17 home runs. Take that season out of his career record and he looks like a very consistent, very average hitter. Second baseman Lou Bierbauer (1886-98) was a pretty mundane hitter but looks like he was pretty sharp with the glove, based on what we can glean from 19th-century fielding stats.

Outfield: Left fielder Lou Brock is in the Hall of Fame, and center fielder Lyman Bostock was a potential batting champ who was gunned down in his prime, but right fielder Lance Berkman (1999- ) is the prize of the outfield. Berkman starts with a .300 average and 100 walks per year, then spikes it with 40-50 doubles and 30-40 home runs per year. He drove in his 1,000th run in 2009, and scored his 1,000th run in 2010. He appeared to be running out of gas but is now having a resurgent season with the Cardinals in 2011 and might yet push his career numbers toward the Hall of Fame level. Brock (1961-79) was a good, durable player. He wasn’t very strong in the field, and his strikeout-walk ratio wasn’t really what you’d want for a leadoff guy, but he had 3,000 hits, 1,600 runs and was a fantastic baserunner who held the single-season and career records for stolen bases until Rickey Henderson blew by them. The Cardinals aquired him in one of the most famously lopsided trades in baseball history; the Cubs, discouraged that he could not handle center field, dealt him to the St. Louis in June of 1964, and Brock immediately batted .348 for the rest of the season and led the Cardinals to the World Series title. In all, he played in three World Series with the Cardinals, batting .300 against the Yankees in ’64, .414 against the Red Sox in ’67 and .464 against the Tigers in ’68. In 21 World Series games, he scored 16 runs, drove in 13 and stole 14 bases. Hard to complain about that. Bostock (1975-78) was a line drive hitter who batted .323 in 1976, then followed that up with .336 in 1977. He was batting .296 late in the 1978 season when he was shot to death in Gary, Ind. Bostock was riding in a car with a woman who was a childhood friend. The woman’s husband, who was both estranged and deranged, attempted to shoot her and hit Bostock instead, killing him at age 27. He died with a .311 career batting average.

Catcher: Larry Brown was a Negro League standout who didn't hit much - .260 with no power - but was a sensational glove man.

Rotation: Lew Burdette (1950-67) was the Milwaukee Braves’ right-handed counterpart to Warren Spahn. He wasn’t nearly as good as Spahn, but he was talented and durable enough to win 203 games. He gave up a lot of hits but almost no walks. Lady Baldwin (1884-90) went 42-13 for Detroit in 1886, and in the rest of his career he was 31-28. A good lefty, but almost half of his career innings came in one season. He can be called The First Lady of Major League Baseball (and we suppose Lady Bee Britton would the second). Len Barker (1976-87) is a cautionary tale. He arrived in the majors at age 20, and by 21 he was billed as a rising star. He developed into an erratic but occasionally very good starter, winning 19 games in 1980 and throwing a perfect game in ’81. Late in the 1983 season, he was struggling along in Cleveland with an 8-13 record and a 5.11 ERA, but the Braves – looking for a boost in the pennant drive – decided that Len Barker was the answer, so they gave the Indians a package of players. Barker went 1-3 for Atlanta that fall, then went 7-8 and 2-9 the next two years. Meanwhile, one of the players Atlanta gave up was a young center fielder named Brett Butler, who went on to score about 1,400 runs, and another of the players Atlanta gave up was a young third baseman named Brook Jacoby, who would hit 120 home runs, and oh yeah, Atlanta had to toss in $150,000 in addition to the players, so that deal really sucked for the Braves. Larry Benton (1923-35) was a .500 pitcher (127-128 lifetime) with a league average ERA, but on a good team he could win you some games (25-9 for the 1928 Giants, for example), and this team should score some runs. Lloyd Brown (1925-40) is not crazy and he can do anything he sets his mind to. (Inside joke for “Seinfeld” fans.) He was actually a lefty, nicknamed Gimpy, who went 91-105 while pitching for some pretty bad teams around the American League. He was at least as good as Larry Benton, so if these two guys get some run support they could be part of a fairly deep rotation.

Bullpen: Closer Larry Bearnarth (1963-71) was with the Mets in between the disastrous expansion team and the Miracle of ’69. Larry Bradford (1977-81) was a lefty who pitched pretty well in 100 games for the Braves. In 1998, he died of a heart attack while attending a Braves game at Turner Field. Lance Broadway (2007- ) is a young guy who has yet to really make his mark in the majors, but Mike and Joe like him because he’s got a great name, especially if you say it with a confident swagger like a cocky young man introducing himself: “Broadway … Lance Broadway.” Lou Brissie (1947-53) was a pretty decent lefty with a great story. As a teen, he had attracted the attention of Connie Mack, but World War II interrupted, and while serving as a paratrooper, Brissie was almost killed by an artillery burst that shattered his left leg. He required more than 20 operations and had to wear a metal brace on his leg, but he returned to baseball and played for Connie Mack. He eventually won 44 games in the majors. (If you did not have a copy of “Strange But True Baseball Stories” as a kid, you truly missed out.) Les Backman (1909-10) was 9-18 for the Cardinals. Lynn Brenton (1913-21) was 5-12 for the Indians and the Reds. Larry Burchart (1969) was 0-2 for the Indians. None of them were as interesting as Lou Brissie, or if they were, it has been lost to the history books.

Bench: Shortstop Larry Bowa (1970-85) didn’t make many errors, so he won a couple of Gold Gloves, but in truth he didn’t have a great arm or much range. He could hit .280 in a good year, so he played in several all-star games, but he didn’t walk and had no power, so he wasn’t very productive. That said, he was a fiery guy who played long enough to accumulate 2,100 hits, almost 1,000 runs and more than 300 steals, so there were certainly times when he helped his teams. He ain’t budging Boudreau off of shortstop, though. Larry Biitner (1970-83) was a lefty-swinging outfielder who could be a valuable guy in the right role off the bench. Larry Bigbie (2001-06) had a brief run as a productive major-league hitter. Lance Blankenship (1988-93) was a utility player who batted .222 but with as many walks as hits, so he was on base quite a bit and was a valuable role player. Backup catcher Lou Berberet (1954-60) was a stocky guy who bounced around the American League for a few years playing semi-regularly. He was a .230 hitter with a little bit of pop and a good arm.

Manager: Lou Boudreau won 1,162 games and a World Series title. He’s the player-manager, acing Bowa out for that role as well as the starting shortstop job.

LC: The Lon Chaneys

Infield: Third baseman Lave Cross (1887-1907) is an enormous figure in baseball of the late 19th century (as befits a man named Lafayette Napoleon Cross), even though it’s hard to get a handle on precisely how great or influential he was as a player. He came up as a catcher but converted to third base and was a fine defensive player. He amassed 2,645 hits in his career and topped 1,300 in both runs and RBI. He never led the league in any offensive categories, and he wasn’t especially noteworthy for speed or power, but he played for a long time and was widely respected in his day. Shortstop Leo Cardenas (1960-75) was a lanky Cuban with long arms and big hands who was a fine defensive infielder, mostly for the Reds and Twins. He was your basic .260 hitter with a bit of pop and a few walks, but along with his glove, that was enough to make him a regular for a long time, as well as a five-time all-star. Second baseman Luis Castillo (1996-2010) stole 193 bases in his first four years as a regular. He was a .290 hitter who drew enough walks to be fairly useful, especially since he played solid defense. Batted .300 as a regular with the Mets in 2009 but has faded from public view somewhat since he stopped stealing 50 bases a year. He scored the 1,000th run of his career in 2010. Lou Criger (1903-12) is really a catcher, but we have no first baseman. Criger played 10 games at first base, so he ends up starting there for the LCs, but player-manager Lave Cross notes that bench player Luke Carlin played some first base in the minors, and so there is every likelihood that Carlin will be allowed to take over the starting job at first base to move Criger back behind the plate where he belongs. As a first baseman, Criger ain’t much – a .220 hitter with 11 home runs in 16 years. Behind the plate, on the other hand, he’s got some assets in his favor – a strong throwing arm, a reputation for calling a good game, and the pedigree of having been one of Cy Young’s favorite catchers. He caught two of Cy’s no-hitters, including the perfect game.

Outfield: Center fielder Leon Culberson (1943-48) was a part-time player for the Red Sox, never playing 100 games in a season but generally getting 200-300 plate appearances. He was a very average player, a .270 hitter who ran alright and had some line drive power. Right fielder Lou Clinton (1960-67) also spent most of his career with the Red Sox, but a couple of generations later. He hit for a lower average than Culberson, but with more power – double-digit home run power, but not exactly what you’d call a slugger. Larry Chappell (1913-17) rounds out this nondescript outfield. He was a semi-regular for the White Sox for one season and then was part of a package of largely worthless players the Sox sent to Cleveland (along with about $30,000) in exchange for Shoeless Joe. Chappell died at age 28 of a flu epidemic that was sweeping the country.

Catcher: Larry Cox (1973-82) was never more than a backup except for a couple of years with the expansion Mariners, because they had to put somebody behind the plate every day.

Rotation: Larry Corcoran (1880-87) was a 5-foot-3 righty, though he was ambidextrous enough to pitch a few innings lefty on a few occasions. He won 170 games in the first five years of his career, back during the rubber-armed days when pitchers threw more or less underhand and logged 400 innings in a season. He pitched three no-hitters and was regularly among the league leaders in all sorts of statistical categories. Larry Cheney (1911-19) was a workhorse won 26 games as a rookie with the 1912 Cubs. He once walked 140 batters in a season and he annually led the league in wild pitchers, but he was a pretty fair hurler and he won 116 games in his career and another 137 in the minors. Larry Christenson (1973-83) was the third pick in the 1972 draft, and less than a year later he was in the majors at age 19, pitching a complete game victory in his debut. He had various injury issues throughout his career and was done before he turned 30, but along the way he was a pretty decent pitcher when he was healthy (and he could hit too, with 11 career home runs). Christenson spent his whole career with the Phillies during a period when the team was very good. He was part of the 1980 World Series championship team, but his contribution wasn’t much. He started Game 4 but only recorded one out. For the record, he gave up a single to Willie Wilson, then made a wild pickoff throw that sent him to third base. After recording one out, he gave up a triple to George Brett, a home run to Willie Aikens and doubles to Hal McRae and Amos Otis. That was the extent of Christenson’s World Series experience. Leon Cadore (1915-24) holds the record for the most batters faced in a single game (96). He set the record in a legendary 1920 game that ended in a tie after 26 innings, with Cadore and his counterpart Joe Oeschger both working complete games. Cadore was a decent enough pitcher, with a 68-72 record but a good ERA (3.14), spending most of his career in Brooklyn. Les Cain (1968-72) was a promising young lefty who had a couple of good years for the Tigers before arm trouble ended his career at age 24.

Bullpen: Lance Carter (1999-2006) saved 26 games for Tampa in 2003, which makes him the nominal closer on this team. Lance Cormier (2004- ) is still active and is still capable of pitching reasonably well. He is from Lafayette, Louisiana, and has two teammates on the LC team with the first name Lafayette, which doesn’t really mean anything but we thought it was worth mentioning. Larry Casian (1990-98) was as anonymous but reasonably effective middle reliever for five teams. Leon Chagnon (1929-35) pitched mostly for the Pirates and in general he wasn’t terrible. Lance Clemons (1971-74) was a big lefty who was expected to be good but wasn’t. He pitched briefly for the Astros, Cardinals and Royals and was part of trades that involved the likes of Jerry Reuss and John Mayberry. Leo Cristante (1951-55) had a long, successful minor-league career punctuated by brief trials with the Phillies in 1951 and the Tigers in 1955. Lafayette Currence (1975) did nothing of note, but he had a way-cool name (Delancey Lafayette Currence, to be precise).

Bench: Luke Carlin (2008- ) has done nothing in the majors to date, and he’s in his early 30s so if he’s gonna do something he ought to start doing it soon. But in the minors, he’s been a .250-ish hitter who draws a lot of walks, so that’s something. He’s a catcher, but he played some first base in the minors so he might take over the first base job and let Lou Criger move back behind the plate. Lou Chiozza (1934-39) was an infielder-outfielder who played regularly for the Phillies for a few years, and he has the distinction of being the first player ever to bat in a night game. Lorenzo Cain (2010- ) is a speedy young outfielder who made his debut with the Brewers and then went to Kansas City in the Zach Grienke trade. He is still at the prospect stage, but he looks like he should be good, and that's enough to land him a spot on this roster at this point. Lou Collier (1997-2004) was a utility guy who bounced around a lot. Leo Callahan (1913-19) was a slap-hitting outfielder who got a couple of trials in the majors.

Manager: Player-manager Lave Cross had a very brief and unsuccessful stint as a manager in 1899, but he was a team captain for a long time back when that title really meant something.

LD: The Lorna Doones

Infield: Leo Durocher (1925-45) is best remembered as a manager, and that’s as it should be because he was a better manager than he was a ballplayer. Not to say he was a bad ballplayer. He was a weak hitter but a good fielder, and of course he had that quality that we could euphemistically call “scrappiness.” He sure convinced people he could play – in 1938 he received MVP votes while batting .219 with no power, no speed and a lousy on-base percentage for a seventh-place team. He played with Ruth and Gehrig on the Yankees and he started for the Gas House Gang Cardinals, and he was player-manager in Brooklyn as the Dodgers started to turn things around. He will be turning double plays with a man who is his temperamental opposite, Laughing Larry Doyle (1907-20), one of those nice guys whom Leo was convinced were predestined to finish last. In truth, Doyle played for some very fine teams, including three New York Giants pennant winners. He was a .290 hitter with lots of doubles and triples, and in the deadball era that made him a very good offensive player. National League MVP in 1912. First baseman Leon Durham (1980-89) was a good hitter, with a .277 average and enough walks and home runs to make that a very effective .277. In the 1984 NLCS, with the Cubs on the verge of finally making it to the World Series, he made an error – allowing a ground ball to roll between his legs – that allowed the Padres to tie the decisive Game 5, which San Diego went on to win. (Two years later his predecessor at the position, Bill Buckner, would make a similar misplay in the World Series for the Red Sox.) Third baseman Len Dondero (1929) batted .194 for the Browns in a brief major-league career.

Outfield: Center fielder Len Dykstra (1985-96) was, in many ways, similar to Pete Rose – a leadoff batter who played every game as though someone was holding his family hostage and threatening to kill everyone if he didn’t play hard. He played with about a pound of tobacco in his cheek, and Andy Van Slyke once said that center field looked like “a toxic waste dump” when Dykstra was out there. Dykstra’s name has been a constant in steroid revelations, and he nearly killed himself and teammate Darren Daulton in a drunken driving accident. He was a good batter – he’d hit .300 in a good year, with lots of walks and doubles – and in 136 postseason games with the Mets and Phillies he batted .321 with a .433 on-base percentage and a .661 slugging percentage, including four home runs in the 1993 World Series. After his playing career was over, he continued his Pete Rose imitation, associating with a bunch of low-lifes, tax cheats and shysters and ending up bankrupt and dogged by allegations of fraud. Larry Doby (1947-59) was also a center fielder but will move to right on this team. Doby, the first black player in the American League, was a Hall of Famer with the Indians and an even better player than Dykstra (and a more likeable fellow, too). In various seasons he led the AL in runs, RBI, home runs (twice), on-base percentage and slugging. Left fielder Lefty Davis (1901-07) batted .261 and ran reasonably well.

Catcher: Leo Dixon (1925-29) was a very bad hitter. He batted .206 with no power, and that was in a huge offensive era.

Rotation: Larry Dierker (1964-77) was a good pitcher who people always thought should be better. He pitched nine games in the rookie leagues, then got called up to the Houston Astros and made his big-league debut on his 18th birthday. He never spent another day in the minors. Other pitchers were in awe of the young kid’s stuff – his fastball, his curveball, his mechanics, his composure – and he had a fine career, winning 20 games in 1969 and pitching a no-hitter in ’76. He won 139 games in his career, but his ERA was basically league average and he was done by age 30 because of arm problems. Leon Day was a Negro League star who was eventually inducted into the Hall of Fame in Cooperstown. He was an overpowering pitcher and a good hitter, frequently compared to Don Newcombe, and though he was just 31 years old when Jackie Robinson broke the color line, he never pitched in the majors. Leo Dickerman (1923-25) had a career record of 19-27, but his ERA was basically league average. Louis Drucke (1909-12) was a promising young pitcher for John McGraw’s Giants, but his career was cut short when he ruptured an arm muscle in what is described as “a subway accident.” No details are provided, but the basic concept sounds extraordinarily painful. Lance Davis (2001) is a lefty who pitched 1,500 innings in the minors and won almost 100 games. He got one shot in the majors, spent most of 2001 in the Cincinnati Reds’ rotation and did pretty well, but it wasn’t enough to convince anyone to give him another chance.

Bullpen: Closer Luis DeLeon (1981-89) was the player to be named later who the Cardinals sent to the Padres to complete the Garry Templeton-for-Ozzie Smith deal. His first two years in San Diego were fantastic – he worked 213 innings of relief with an ERA of 2.37. After that he went downhill fast. Larry Demery (1974-77) was a promising young right-hander for the Pirates whose career ended because of arm troubles before he turned 25. Lino Donoso (1955-56) was a Cuban lefty who pitched in the Negro Leagues, the Mexican League, the Pacific Coast League and – briefly and ineffectively – in the majors for the Pittsburgh Pirates. Lum Davenport (1921-24) went 1-4 with the Chicago White Sox but managed to spread it out over four different seasons. Logan Drake (1922-24) pitched at the same time as Lum Davenport, and in the same league, and he had the same type of career – an 0-1 record for Cleveland spread out over three seasons. Larry Duff (1922), whose real name was Cecil Elba Duff, won 14 games for our hometown Norfolk Tars back in 1925, so he’s got that going for him. In his brief career with the White Sox in 1922, he didn’t do so well. He was, however, a teammate of Lum Davenport, so the two of them and Logan Drake will have a lot to talk about. Lenny DiNardo (2004- ) is a contemporary lefty whose career seems to have run aground at age 30.

Bench: Infielder Lee Dressen (1914-18), who is apparently no relation to Chuck, had a long and pretty decent minor-league career, and a short, forgettable one in the majors. Lee DeMontreville (1903) was once, while in the minors, seriously injured in a trolley accident. Our road secretary’s job will be to keep DeMontreville and Louis Drucke off of public transportation. Backup catcher Lew Drill (1902-04) played at Georgetown University and was signed by the Washington Senators. He was a decent hitter who will get his share of time behind the plate on this team, but didn’t play long, in part because he had a nice post-baseball career waiting for him – he got his law degree and became the U.S. Attorney for the state of Minnesota. Lucas Duda (2010- ), of whom the camptown ladies sing, is a promising corner outfielder who is just hitting his prime with the Mets. Luis Durango (2009- ) is a young outfielder who has won a couple of minor-league batting titles and has now made his way up to the San Diego Padres.

Manager: Leo “The Lip” as player-manager, of course. Durocher was famous for his battles with umpires and once said that he wanted “scratching, diving, hungry ballplayers who come to kill you.” He and Lenny Dykstra will get along famously. Durocher was a great manager who was famous for his ability to get the most out of his players. He played a crucial role in the development of the young Willie Mays, and his tenacity as a manager was important to Jackie Robinson’s arrival in Brooklyn. When several Dodgers circulated a petition making it clear that they had no intention of having a black man as a teammate, Durocher gathered the team together, told them that Jackie Robinson could help them win more games (and make more money). Then he suggested that anyone who didn’t want to be benefit from that should simply let him know so that they could be accommodated with a trade to another team whose tails the Dodgers would be kicking for the next decade. Durocher was also a drinker, a gambler and a womanizer who liked to hang out with Hollywood stars. He was a fascinating, sometimes self-destructive, man and an outstanding manager.

LG: The Leif Garrets

Infield: You’ve heard of first baseman Lou Gehrig (1923-39), right? He could play a little, and in fact, he played a lot. The cleanup batter in Murderers’ Row, one of the great hitters of all time, and of course, an admirable superstar who played in 2,130 consecutive games. He’ll probably move into the 3-hole in this batting order, to take advantage of his .447 career on-base percentage, but let’s face it, he’s not going to see a lot of strikes in this lineup. Larry Gardner (1908-24) will bat leadoff and score a few runs with Gehrig coming up behind him. Gardner was primarily a third baseman, but he’ll move to second on this team to fill a gaping hole. He was a fine, consistent player who was a starter on three World Series champions in Boston and one in Cleveland, and after he retired he went home to Vermont and spent a quarter-century as baseball coach and athletic director at University of Vermont. Third baseman Leo Gomez (1990-96) was a minor-league batting champion who had several good (but not great) years with Baltimore, and then went overseas and starred in Japan for six seasons. Add together his career in the minors, the majors and in Japan and you’ll get 300 home runs, including 79 for the Orioles in seven seasons. Shortstop Luis Gomez (1974-81) was as bad a hitter as a guy can be, and teams still sent him to the plate almost 1,400 times. He was a .210 hitter who didn’t walk and had almost no extra-base hits, and as a bonus he attempted 28 stolen bases in his career and got thrown out 22 times, which is one hell of a feat. He was primarily a backup, as you would figure, but the 1978 Blue Jays gave him 153 games and he responded with a .223 batting average, 10 extra-base hits and a 2-for-12 record as a base stealer. He lost his starting job, but in 1980 the Braves decided to put him out there for 121 games, and he batted .191 with a .212 slugging average and he got thrown out on all four stolen base attempts.

Outfield: Left fielder Luis Gonzalez (1990-2008) was a better player than you realized, and he played for longer than you realized, for which reason his career stats sort of catch you by surprise – 2,591 hits (in 2,591 games), including almost 600 doubles (15th all time), 354 home runs, more than 1,400 runs and more than 1,400 RBI. Topping it all off, he got the walk-off hit in Game 7 of the 2001 World Series to give Mariano Rivera his only postseason loss. Gonzo bats cleanup behind the Iron Horse. We’re expecting about 140 RBI. Center fielder Lenny Green (1957-68) was never a star but was a solid player – a speedy line-drive hitter with a great batting eye. He’ll bat second, behind Gardner and ahead of Gehrig and Gonzo, and if he has one of his seasons hitting .280 with 80 walks, he’ll score 120 runs. Right fielder Len Gabrielson (1960-70) was a big left-handed hitter who was best cast as a fourth outfielder, but he’s starting on this team.

Catcher: Lew Graulich (1891) spent about five years in the 1890s knocking around the minor-league circuit in Pennsylvania, and when he got his shot in the majors, as a hometown boy with the Phillies, he batted .308 in a couple dozen at-bats.

Rotation: Lefty Grove (1925-41) was as devastating and dominant as any pitcher who ever lived. He led the American League in ERA nine times despite pitching in tough parks. He led the league on a regular basis in wins, winning percentage, strikeout-to-walk ratio, fewest baserunners per nine innings. He pitched on three pennant winners and two World Series champs, with a postseason ERA of 1.75. Grove was a fiery competitor with a nasty temper, but he managed to focus it all on the mound. He won 300 games in the majors (against just 141 losses), and that was after a prolonged minor-league career in which he put up a 111-39 record. If you wanted to argue that he was the greatest pitcher of all time, you could make a good case. Lefty Gomez (1930-43), another Lefty G who pitched at the same time as Grove, was the ace of the great Yankees teams that won five World Series titles. He won 189 games in the regular season and was 6-0 career in the World Series. These two Lefties combined to win 489 games with an insane winning percentage (around .670), with 11 ERA titles, and they appeared in eight World Series between 1929-39, winning seven of them. Not a bad 1-2 punch atop the rotation, and Larry Gura (1970-85) is one hell of a #3. He knocked around a couple of teams before he landed in Kansas City and became a full-time starter at age 30, but he made up for lost time and finished with 126 career wins. That’s where the rotation runs out of steam. Lefty George (1911-18), no relation to Boy George, had a career record of 7-21. However, he pitched in the minors into his late 40s, won more than 300 games, and then during World War II came out of retirement to pitch in a low-level New York outfit called the Interstate League, winning seven games at age 56 for the York White Roses. Lee Grissom (1934-41), completing an all-lefty rotation, was 29-48. (If we need a righty, we can always pick up Len Gilmore, a career minor-leaguer who made one major-league appearance – during World War II, on the final day of the 1944 season, in the second game of a doubleheader, when he worked a complete game for the Pirates and lost 7-1.)

Bullpen: Closer Lee Guetterman (1984-96) was a 6-foot-8 lefty (yes, another lefty) who is the best player ever to come out of Jerry Falwell’s Liberty University. He had some good seasons as a middle reliever, set-up man and occasional closer, and in 1990 he led the Yankees in victories despite the fact that he never started a game. Lee Gardner (2002-08) had a relatively brief career for the Marlins and the Rays and is apparently the best right-handed pitcher in major-league history with the initials LG. Either him or Les German (1890-97), who had a longer career but went 34-63 with a 5.49 ERA. Lee Gregory (1964) pitched in 11 games for the Cubs and didn’t do too poorly. Lee Griffeth (1946) pitched a few games for the A’s in 1946 and, like Gregory, he pitched pretty well. Lou Galvin (1884), apparently no relation to Pud (and isn’t that a fun phrase?), went 0-2 for St. Paul in the Union Association. Lou Grasmick (1948) pitched in two games for the Phillies. What do we make of the fact that every pitcher in the bullpen has a three-letter first name? (That’s four Lees, two Lous and a Les.)

Bench: Lonnie Goldstein (1943-46) is a .100 hitter who backs up Lou Gehrig at first base, so he probably won’t be playing too much. Lee Gouch (1915-17) was a good minor-league outfielder, a .300 hitter, who acquitted himself just fine in a brief major-league career. He could platoon with Gabrielson in right field. Lee Gamble (1935-40) was also an outfielder who batted .300 in a long minor-league career, but he didn’t do anything to impress anyone in the majors. Lou Guisto (1916-23) batted .196 in his career. Louis Graff (1890) went 2-for-5 for Syracuse in his only major-league game. He’s the backup catcher here.

Manager: We have no current managerial candidates, but longtime Red Sox front office exec Lou Gorman will give it a shot.

LH: The Lena Hornes

Infield: Lenny Harris (1988-2005) made his name as a versatile utility player and extended his career as a professional pinch-hitter. On this team, he starts at second base, because that’s where he’s needed. In the majors, he played 485 games as third, but he also had more than 100 appearances at second base, left and right field, plus a few dozen apiece at first and shortstop. He even pitched a scoreless inning once, but that wasn’t really a part of his skill set. He also holds all sorts of pinch-hitting records, including pinch-hits in a career (212). To be honest, he was more valuable as a pinch-hitter and supersub than as a starter – he wasn’t anything special as a hitter, or as a fielder, or as a baserunner. But he left his mark. Third baseman Lee “Jeep” Handley (1936-47) led the National League in steals in 1939. True, he only stole 17 bases, but hey, leading the league is leading the league, right? He played for a decade and batted .269. Jackie Robinson once noted that Handley was the first opposing player to wish him well. Shortstop Luis Hernandez (2007- ) isn’t a bad fielder, but he ain’t no hitter no how. His presence in the starting lineup tells you how short this team is in quality infielders. First baseman Lefty Herring (1899-1904) never did anything to make you think he was a professional baseball player.

Outfield: Center fielder Larry Hisle (1968-82) was a terrific hitter. He led the AL in RBI in 1977 and finished third in the MVP voting in 1978. A shoulder injury in his early 30s cut his career short. Hisle played a lot of center field for the Phillies, Twins and Brewers but was better suited to a corner outfield spot. Left fielder Larry Herndon (1974-88) was lovingly known as “Penitentiary Face” because, well, he had the sort of face that looked like it belonged on a wanted poster. He was a pretty fair player, a .274 hitter who could hit 20 homers in a good year. He was a starter on the Tigers’ great championship team of 1984, and he batted .333 in the World Series that year. Right fielder Larry Harlow (1975-81) struggled to bat .250. He had no power or speed and he wasn’t any great shakes in the field. And as always, when you’ve got three Larrys in the outfield, anything goes.

Catcher: Larry Haney (1966-78) was a really terrible hitter but a decent enough catcher to have a long career as a backup. In 1969 card, Topps accidentally flipped his photo so that he appeared to be left-handed, which caught everyone’s eye. Drawing further attention to this detail was the fact that he was wearing a ridiculously oversized mitt, and the fact that they used the same photo on the 1969 card (with the Pilots) as they used the year before (with the Orioles), with the only difference being that the ’69 image was backward.

Rotation: Livan Hernandez (1996- ) is a Cuban defector who has been a very average, but extraordinarily durable, pitcher bouncing around the majors for more than a decade. In 1997 he was on the Marlins team that won the World Series. He started Games 1 and 5, didn’t pitch very well either time out, but got enough run support to win both games. So he had a 5.27 ERA, 25 baserunners and just 7 strikeouts in 13 2/3 innings, watched Games 6 and 7 from a cozy seat on the bench – and he was named the World Series MVP, apparently because people thought it was really nice that his mother was able to make it over from Cuba to watch. LaMarr Hoyt (1979-86) won a ridiculous Cy Young Award in 1983, when he had a 3.66 ERA but got a ton of run support and won 24 games. Hoyt was a pretty ordinary pitcher with very good control, and he might have put up some good career numbers as a middle-of-the-rotation guy if drug addiction hadn’t brought him crashing down in his early 30s. His career was wrecked, but he managed to clean himself up and still works in the White Sox organization. Luke “Hot Potato” Hamlin (1933-44) won 213 games in the minors and 73 in the majors (including 20 for the Brooklyn Dodgers in 1939). Hamlin was a solid control pitcher, didn’t overpower anyone, and was generally below the league average in ERA. Lum Harris (1941-47) pitched for the moribund Philadelphia A’s during World War II, going 35-63. This could not have been a pleasant experience. Luke Hudson (2002-07) pitched for the Reds and the Royals, but never well enough to get in the rotation and stick.

Bullpen: Closer LaTroy Hawkins (1995- ) has never been dull. He has 87 saves to this point in his career, and while he’s in a setup role these days, he could still hit 100 for his career. Some years he’s quite good. Other years, no so much. In 1999, as a starter for the Twins, he posted a 6.66 ERA and led the league in earned runs allowed, but Minnesota was so desperate for innings that he never missed a start. Two years later, he saved 28 games for the Twins while posting a 5.96 ERA. But he’s had very good years, too. On the whole, it has balanced out to a very ordinary career ERA, a little better than league average. Luther Hackman (1999-2003) was a not-very-successful reliever who tested positive for steroids, drew a 50-game suspension and fled to Taiwan where he pitched very well for a few years. Larry Hardy (1974-76) got his butt kicked for 126 innings in San Diego and Houston, but he somehow managed a 9-4 record and five saves. Lloyd Hittle (1949-50), no relation to Floyd Little, was a forgettable lefty reliever for the Senators. Leroy Herrmann (1932-35) won 163 games in the minors, including 84 between 1931-34 in the Pacific Coast League, but he didn’t do much in the majors. Luke Hochevar (2007- ) was the top pick in the 2006 draft, taken by the Royals out of University of Tennessee. He has yet to do anything worthwhile in the majors, and his spot in this bullpen (we’re not even considering him for the rotation yet) is based more on potential than actual delivery. As to that potential, if he's going to do something, he ought to get started soon. Leland Hancock (1995-96) was a lefty with the Pirates who wasn’t completely terrible.

Bench: Larry Howard (1970-73) was not one of the Three Stooges. He was a backup catcher for the Astros. Leo Hernandez (1982-86) was a weak-hitting infielder who played for the 1983 championship Orioles. Les Hennessy (1913) was not the newsman on “WKRP in Cincinnati.” He was an infielder who got a few at-bats for the Tigers. Luther Harvel (1928) was an outfielder who batted .300 in a long minor-league career and batted .221 in a short major-league one. Lou Hardie (1884-91) was born during the Civil War and played for various teams in the early years of the National League. He played a little bit of everything, and he didn’t hit much.

Manager: Lum Harris managed the Orioles, Astros and Braves. He was manager of the Braves team that lost to the Miracle Mets in the 1969 NLCS. And it is worth noting that in Atlanta one of his players was Mike Lum. In the history of the majors, there have been two players with the first name Lum and one guy with the last name Lum, and for a couple of years in Atlanta, two of them hung out together. Go figure.

Special note: Livan Hernandez is listed at 6-foot-2, 245 pounds. LaMarr Hoyt was listed at 6-3, 195 pounds, but by the end of his career he had packed on a good 30-40 pounds and was looking pretty hefty. During the seventh-inning stretch, the two of them will entertain fans with a race around the bases. They will start at home plate, take off in opposite directions, and fans will wait to see if they collide head-on as they round second base.

LL: The Lyle Lovetts

Infield: Shortstop Lyn Lary (1929-40) came up with the Ruth-Gehrig-Dickey Yankees and spent the first five years of his career there but somehow never appeared in a World Series. The Yankees won only pennant from 1929-33, and Lary did not appear in the team’s four-game sweep of the 1932 World Series. He left New York in 1934 and became a journeyman. As a leadoff man with a good batting eye, Lary had three seasons (with three different teams) of more than 700 plate appearances, and in each of those he scored 100 or more runs. Lary could be a bit confused at shortstop, as he will be positioned between second baseman Luis Manuel Lopez (1993-2005) and third baseman Luis Lopez with no middle name (2001-04). Luis Manuel Lopez, in a long career as a utility man and role player, did little to distinguish himself. He was a .250 hitter with no power, a poor batting eye, and no speed, and defensively he was no great shakes. Luis Lopez with no middle initial, on the other hand, was the same basic type of player but did not hang around nearly as long. First baseman Lou Limmer (1951-54) was a prodigious minor-league slugger who never got a foothold in the majors. In two stints with the Philadelphia A’s, he was always stuck behind a better player (Ferris Fain, Vic Power, Don Bollweg), but he did manage two trivia distinctions. On May 2, 1951, in a game against Detroit, Limmer became the first Jewish batter to hit a home run off of a Jewish pitcher (Saul Rogovin) who was throwing to a Jewish catcher (Joe Ginsberg). You can probably win some bar bets with that little tidbit. A bit more prominent: In September 1954, Limmer had the last hit and the last home run for the A’s before the franchise moved from Philadelphia to Kansas City.

Outfield: Lee Lacy (1972-87), who came up as a second baseman and spent most of his career as a corner outfielder, will be stretched to play center. He had a fascinating career – a role player and platoon guy in his 20s who gradually moved into a full-time role and finally began to get 500 plate appearances a year in his late 30s. He was a good line drive hitter, and after stealing just 36 bases in his first 10 seasons, he stole 40 in one year at age 34 and finished with 185 steals in his career. He had trouble cracking the lineup of the pennant-winning Dodgers in the 1970s, developed into a .300 hitter with the Pirates in the ‘80s and finished up in the Earl Weaver system in Baltimore. Left fielder Leron Lee (1969-76) had a mediocre career as a part-time player for four major-league teams but later distinguished himself as the first American player to become a star in Japan. Lee spent 11 years with the Chibbe Orions, hit 283 home runs and set a Japanese record for career batting average (.320). Before Lee’s arrival, Americans playing in Japan were almost exclusively washed-up veterans; Lee’s ability on the field and his approach to the game changed the way Japanese baseball fans and officials looked at American players, helping to change the ugly stereotype established by guys like Joe Pepitone. Negro League batting champion Lester Lockett will start in right field. He used a very long bat to hit sharp line drives, and according to one story (probably apochryphal, but who knows?), he hit an infield pop-up that went so high into a thick fog that he circled the bases before the infielders could figure out where it was going to land and track it down.

Catcher: Lou Legett (1929-35), affectionately known as “Doc,” was a decent enough minor-league hitter but a complete washout in the majors. He spent most of his career backing up Hall of Famer Rick Ferrell, but he’ll be the starter here.

Rotation: Lefty Leifield (1905-20) won 15-20 games per year for the Pirates between 1906-11. He finished his career at 124-97 with an ERA of 2.47, which is a good ERA but not quite as spectacular as it seems, since it was compiled in the depths of the Dead Ball Era. Understand that when Leifield posted a 1.87 ERA in 1906, that ranked him fifth in the National League. That said, he was a fine pitcher, and he also won 115 games in the minors – 42 before his major-league career and 73 after he was for the most part done in the bigs. Luis Leal (1980-85) was a dependable middle-of-the-rotation guy for the Blue Jays during the team’s climb from post-expansion doldrums to respectability. Toronto lost 95 games in his first season and won 99 in his last season. Along the way, Leal won 51 games and was generally pretty decent. Les Lancaster (1987-93) spent most of his career in the bullpen but will be pressed into starting duty here. He was capable of good seasons (1.36 ERA in 72 innings in 1988) and bad ones (6.33 ERA in 86 innings in 1992), but we’ll hope for the best. Larry Luebbers (1993-2000) was a 6-foot-6 stringbean who had a brief and unexceptional career for the Reds and the Cardinals. Larry Landreth (1976-77) showed some promise but won just one game for Montreal in the majors.

Bullpen: Closer Lerrin Lagrow (1970-80) saved 54 games in his career and had some good seasons along the way. He is perhaps best known for an incident early in the 1972 ALCS , when he drilled Oakland’s Bert Campaneris on the ankle and then had to duck his 6-foot-5, 220-pound frame into a ball on the mound to avoid the bat that Campaneris flung at his head. Lou Lucier (1943-45) was a career minor-leaguer who pitched a bit for the Red Sox and Phillies during World War II. Louis LeRoy (1905-10) pitched briefly for the Yankees and the Red Sox. His nickname was “Chief,” which probably means he had some American Indian blood. Lynn Lovenguth (1955-57) won almost 200 games in the minors but went 0-2 in the majors. Lyman Linde (1947-48) was sort of Lovenguth Lite – he won just short of 100 games in the minors and went 0-0 in the bigs. Lance Lynn (2011- ) is a promising young prospect with the Cardinals, and that's enough to earn him a spot in this bullpen. The pen’s only lefty, Larry Loughlin (1967), is not to be confused with actress Lori Laughlin of “Full House” fame, though they would appear to have roughly the same odds of getting a major-league batter out.

Bench: Larry Lintz (1973-78) was a very fast middle infielder who, as they say, couldn’t steal first base. Playing part time (113 games, 388 plate appearances) for Montreal in 1974 he stole 50 bases in 57 attempts, but teams simply couldn’t live with his weak bat. He spent two years in Oakland as one of Charlie Finley’s “designated runners.” Backup catcher Luis Antonio Lopez (1990-91) will create a lot of confusion with Luis Manuel Lopez and Luis Lopez with no middle name. In fact, the team’s PR department is working up a funny ad campaign that will feature the three Lopezes dancing to “Louie Louie.” Infielder Lyle Luttrell (1956-57) was a sub-.200 hitter for the Senators. First baseman Luke Lutenberg (1894) was 6-foot-2, 225 pounds, a veritable giant in his day, but he batted like a 98-pound weakling. Larry Littleton (1981) was a good minor-league hitter, but he went 0-for-23 for the Indians in his only big-league experience.

Manager: Les Lancaster will be the player-manager (or, rather, pitcher-manager), utilizing the experience he has gotten from managing independent league teams in recent years.

LM: The Leigh Montvilles

Infield: Lee May (1965-82) was the first baseman who missed all the fun with the Big Red Machine. He left the Reds after the 1971 season, traded to Houston as part of the package that brought Joe Morgan (and Jack Billingham, Cesar Geronimo and Dennis Menke, a pretty good haul) to Cincinnati, allowed Tony Perez to move from third to first, and set the pieces in place for the great Reds teams of the 1970s. May wasn’t quite as good as Perez, but he was pretty darn good, a big slugger who hit 354 home runs and drove in 1,244 runs. His strikeout-to-walk ratio was poor and he was sort of a slow, lumbering guy, but he was good at what he did. He had 100-RBI seasons for three different teams and also had two seasons of 98 RBI and two more with 99, so if you squint a little bit, it’s kind of like he had seven 100-RBI seasons. Shortstop Lennie Merullo (1941-47) was the exact opposite of Lee May, a wiry guy with a good glove but no stick. Merullo was a particular favorite of legendary Chicago newspaper columnist Mike Royko, who delighted in telling funny stories about Merullo and making him a symbol of the Cubs’ shortcomings – until Merullo wrote Royko a gracious, self-deprecating note about how hard he worked and how proud he was to play for the Cubs. He included the photo you see next to this article, and joked to Royko that this was how he always played - with his eyes closed. Royko was so inspired by the letter that he wrote an article praising Merullo for the time he punched Dixie Walker in the mouth. You’re probably never heard of third baseman Levi Meyerle (1871-84), but he was one hell of a hitter in the prehistoric era – a .356 career batting average, led the National Association in average twice (including a .492 average in 1871). It’s sometimes hard to make sense of the stats from the 1870s, so we don’t really know where he fits on the spectrum between, say, Ken Caminiti and Home Run Baker, but we can say with some confidence that Long Levi was a good hitter. Second baseman Les Mallon (1931-35) batted .283 for the Phillies and Braves at a time when a .283 batting average wasn’t all that impressive.

Outfield: Center fielder Lloyd Moseby (1980-91) was the full package. He hit 15-20 home runs per year, averaged about 30 steals at a high success rate, and at his peak he would bat .280-.310 with a decent number of walks. Combine that with good defense and you’ve got a heck of an outfielder. Unfortunately, he had some injuries in his late 20s and was done in his early 30s. Left fielder Lee Mazzilli (1976-89) came billed as both a star and a matinee idol, a handsome kid from Brooklyn who arrived in New York and was starting for the Mets at age 22, showing flashes of brilliance. Well, he developed back problems and arm problems and, complicating things further, a cocaine problem, and he ended up having a functional career but well short of stardom. (He did play a role in Mets’ championship season of 1986 – the Mets traded him in ’81 for Ron Darling and Walt Terrell, then traded Terrell for Howard Johnson, and Darling and HoJo were key players in 1986.) Right fielder Lee Maye (1959-71) really has nothing in common with Lee May, except of course for their names, their occupations and the basic time frame of their careers. Maye hit for a better average and hit doubles rather than home runs, and while he wasn’t a speedster, he was faster than May (which is sort of like being taller than Freddie Patek). Maye also sang in a fairly successful doo-wop group and toured with Johnny Otis.

Catcher: Lew McCarty (1913-21) was a part-time player who never drove in or scored more than 30 runs in a season, but in his better seasons he wasn’t a bad player.

Rotation: Leroy "Lefty" Matlock was an outstanding pitcher in the Negro Leagues during the 1930s, highlighted by his 17-0 record for the Pittsburgh Crawfords in 1935. Lynn McGlothen (1972-82) won 12-16 games five times between 1974-80 and was generally a decent pitcher. Larry McWilliams (1978-90) was a tall, thin lefty swingman who is best known for teaming with reliever Gene Garber in 1978 to end Pete Rose’s 44-game hitting streak (prompting Rose to complain that they were trying too hard to get him out and should have “challenged him” more at the plate). Lew Moren (1903-10) was a pretty average pitcher for some pretty average Phillies teams. Les Mueller (1941-45) was a career minor-leaguer who filled in reasonably well for Detroit during World War II.

Bullpen: Lindy McDaniel (1955-75) was one of the top closers of the 1960s, in the period when the modern closer role was beginning to take shape. He was a full-time reliever by his early 20s, but he pitched early enough in games to post 141 victories in his career to go along with 172 saves. He pitched 21 years for the Musial-Gibson Cardinals, the Santo-Banks Cubs, the Mays-McCovey Giants, the Munson-Nettles Yankees and the Brett-Otis Royals, but somehow managed to avoid ever advancing to postseason play. Lance McCullers (1985-92) had a fine career as a set-up man with occasional runs in the closer role. Lefty Mills (1934-40) got hit pretty hard, but then, you try pitching for the Browns in the 1930s and see what happens. Lew Marone (1969-70) had a very brief major-league career, a slightly longer minor-league career and did not leave a big impression in either. He was the cousin of erratic flamethrower John D’Acquisto, but it appears he was nowhere near as much fun to watch. Les McCrabb (1939-50) and Leo Mangum (1924-35) combined to win 300 games and change in the minors but generally got pummeled in the bigs. (We think their names would make for a great comic detective show on cable TV: "Magnum and McCrabb.") Lou McEvoy (1930-31) pitched briefly for the Ruth-Gehrig Yankees and still had a losing record.

Bench: Lloyd McClendon (1987-94) was never a great player, but he was very functional – an OK hitter who could play outfield and even catch in a pinch. Outfielder Lastings Milledge (2006- ) is a terrific athlete and is young, so we’ll have to wait and see what kind of player he develops into. He pissed off a lot of veterans in 2006 when he hit his first major-league home run and had the temerity to high-five some fans near the dugout. (Their reaction points out a huge distinction between baseball and football, since in the NFL it is routine for players to run around the field waving their arms and gesturing to the crowd after making routine plays.) Larry Milbourne (1974-84) and Lou Merloni (1998-2006) were very ordinary middle infielders. Outfielder and second baseman Lee Magee (1911-19) was a pretty fair player, a .276 hitter with some speed, who was run out of the game because of his commiseration with Hal Chase in the attempted fixing of ballgames in the run-up to the Black Sox scandal. It is worth noting that (a.) he was no relation to Hall of Famer Sherry Magee, and (b.) his real name was Leopold Hoernschemeyer.

Manager: Les Moss was a long-time coach who had brief tenures as manager of the White Sox and the Tigers.

LR: The Lou Rawls All-Stars

Infield: First baseman Luis Rosado (1977-80) was actually a catcher who spent some time at first base. In fact, eight of his nine defensive games in the majors were at first base. He didn’t really have a big-league career – a .179 batting average in 28 at-bats – but as a minor-league catcher he spent several years here in Norfolk and wasn’t half-bad. Second baseman Luis Rivas (2000-08) was a starter in the majors at age 21, and on a good team no less (the Twins). He wasn't all that great, and he never made a lot of progress. Decent average and good speed, but he didn't get on base much and didn't have any power. Shortstop Luis Rivera (1986-98) was an even weaker hitter than Luis Rivas – and, similarly, he came up young, never hit much, and hung around a long while. Third baseman Lew Riggs (1934-46) is thinking of changing his name to Luis as a show of infield solidarity. He’s the best hitter of the bunch, which isn’t saying much. His big-league career ended when he went off to war, but after he returned from his military service he went back to the minors, batted .300 for a few years, and hung around until he was 40.

Outfield: Leon Roberts (1974-84) bounced around six teams but is best known as one of the better players in the early years of the expansion Seattle Mariners – a .300 hitter who drew a few walks and hit a few home runs. He was really a corner outfielder and he had no speed, but he did get stretched to play some center, and that’s where he will likely start for the L.R. team. Right fielder Lance Richbourg (1921-32) played on the AL champion Senators in 1924 and the NL champion Cubs in ’32, though he did not appear in either World Series. In between he had a decent run with the Boston Braves, batting .308 for his career. Left fielder Lee Riley (1944), father of NBA coaching legend Pat Riley, played just four games in the majors, but he played 22 years in the minors, batting .314 with 248 home runs.

Catcher: Lew “Old Dog” Ritter (1902-08) was a part-time catcher for some not-very-good Brooklyn Superbas teams. About the only thing noteworthy in his career is that between 1904-05, he stole 33 bases, which is a lot for a catcher in just 575 plate appearances.

Rotation: Lew Richie (1906-13) won 74 games, mostly for the Phillies and the Cubs. His nickname was “Lurid Lew,” and it’s probably best that we don’t know the story behind that one. He was a good pitcher, and in 1912 he went 16-8 with a 2.95 ERA at age 28 – and then he just fell off the map. He got rocked in 1913, went briefly back to the minors and was out of pro ball at age 30. There’s probably a story there, but we don’t know it. Lee Richmond (1879-86) threw baseball’s first recorded perfect game. He was a 19th-century workhorse who won 30 games once and lost 30 twice. He was a decent hitter who also played some outfield. An Ivy League man (Brown, to be specific), he eventually left baseball and became Dean of Men at the University of Toledo. Laurie Reis (1877-78) was the actress who played the uber-perky social director on “Love Boat.” No, wait. That’s not right. Laurie Reis was a guy who pitched eight games for the Cubs as a teen in the late 1870s. At age 18, he made four starts, completed all of them, gave up just eight runs for a 3-1 record. One year later, he made four starts, completed all of them, but gave up 34 runs for a 1-3 record. Apparently the hitters had figured him out. Either that, or he had been replaced by the actress who played the social director on “Love Boat.” Left-hander Leslie Rohr (1967-69) went 2-3 in a brief career for the Mets. He was on the Amazin’ gang in 1969, but he got hammered in his only relief appearance and, needless to say, was not used in the postseason. He was out of baseball by his mid-20s. Lee Rogers (1938) spent one year in the majors, splitting his time between Boston and Brooklyn and not pitching especially well at either spot. Make whatever you want out of the fact that our rotation includes Laurie, Leslie and two Lees.

Bullpen: Lance Rautzhan (1977-79) had a brief career that included two NL pennants with the Dodgers. He had a good year in 1978 (a 2.93 ERA in 43 appearances) and he had seven career saves. On this team, that’s what we call a closer. Leo Rosales (2008-10) had a winning record (5-2) despite a career ERA over 5.00. Laddie Renfroe (1991) pitched in four games for the Cubs and had a career ERA of 13.50, but if we’re going to have a Leslie, a Laurie and two Lees in the rotation, it might be a good idea to have a Laddie in the pen. Luis Rivera (2000) was a 6-foot-3 beanpole who came up as a hot 22-year-old prospect, pitched well in a half-dozen games for the Braves and the Orioles (1.23 career ERA) and then disappeared. He made no appearances in the majors or minors from 2001-04, then resurfaced in 2005 in the Mexican League, where he has been getting clobbered ever since. Lefty Russell (1910-12) was a very bad pitcher who went back to the minors in his early 20s and found out that he wasn’t a very good first baseman either. Larry Rothschild (1981-82) pitched very briefly for the Tigers, but he’ll have his hands full managing this squad.

Bench: Lenny Randle (1971-82) is a supersub who will probably get 400 or more at-bats on this team at second, third and in the outfield. He was your basic .260 hitter with no power, stole a good number of bases but at a very poor percentage. He is perhaps best known for his dispute with Texas Rangers manager Frank Lucchesi that began with Randle complaining about playing time and Lucchesi calling him a punk, and ended with Randle beating the holy crap out of Lucchesi during pre-game practice. He also once laid flat on his belly inside the third-base line and attempted to blow a bunted ball into foul territory, prompting baseball to revise its rulebook to cover players who alter the path of a ball without actually touching it. Larry Raines (1957-58) had a fine career in the Negro Leagues, in Japan and in the minors but only played for one full season and a few games of another with the Cleveland Indians. Along with Randle, he could very well be taking playing time away from someone named Luis in the infield. Lee “Bee Bee” Richard (1971-76) was a light-hitting infielder used extensively as a pinch-runner until teams realized that a guy who got thrown out in half of his stolen base attempts probably wasn’t a good pinch-runner. Liu Rodriguez (1999) and Luis Rodriguez (2005- ), no apparent relation, are two other guys competing for work in the crowded infield. Some of these infielders might have to try their hand in the outfield. Len Rice (1944-45) was a backup catcher during World War II.

Manager: Larry Rothschild managed the Tampa Bay Devil Rays for a little more than three years in their hapless days, which should be appropriate preparation for this task – a team with almost no offense, very little pitching, a bench full of light-hitting utility infielders and a pinch-runner who can’t steal bases. Lenny Randle might be doing Rothschild a favor if he takes another swing at his manager.

LS: The Lamont Sanfords

Infield: First baseman Lee Stevens (1990-2002) played off and on at first base for the Angels for three years. In 1993 he was traded to Montreal, released by the Expos during spring training, signed by the Blue Jays, sent to the minors for the year, then re-signed with the Angels as a free agent before deciding a month later to go play in Japan. He presumably went through a lot of "change of address" notes in 1993. After two years with the Kintetsu Buffalo, he returned to the U.S. in 1996, went back to the minors and won the MVP award in the American Association. He spent the next five seasons hitting 20-25 home runs per year for the Rangers and the Expos. He hit 144 home runs in the majors and 146 in the minors, so when you add in however many he hit in two years in Japan, you've got to assume it's more than 300 professional jacks. Shortstop Luis Sojo (1990-2003) was a light-hitting utility infielder who bounced around the American League for a few years and was wise enough to stay in New York for a few years, long enough to be part of four pennant winners and three World Series champions. Third baseman Lin Storti (1930-33) was a .227 hitter with the Browns who had a bit of gap power but not enough to make him anything close to a productive hitter. (When you look at that .227 average, understand that the league average at the time was close to .300.) Second baseman Lou Stringer (1941-50) had a long, productive career in the minors, but most of his major-league service time came during World War II, and even then he was a part-time player at best.

Outfield: Center fielder Lou Sockalexis (1897-99) is a legend, almost to the point of becoming a mythological figure. The statistical line shows him with a grand total of 395 career plate apperances and a .313 batting average, which is good but hardly noteworthy for his era. But by all accounts he was a remarkable athlete - fast and strong and graceful - and everyone who saw him play came away not just impressed but almost awestruck. He was an American Indian, apparently the first ever to play in the majors, and while he was playing for the National League's Cleveland Spiders, reporters began to refer to the team as the Cleveland Indians in his honor. Years later, when the AL's Cleveland Naps decided to change their name (since Lajoie had left the team on less than friendly terms), they adopted the name Indians, though it is not clear to what extent this was a reference to Sockalexis. His career was short, in part because of injury but mostly because of self-destructive alcoholism. He reportedly stopped drinking, but he died at age 42 of heart failure, and you've got to think that the fire water played a role. Left fielder Lonnie Smith (1978-94) was a fine leadoff hitter but such a bad defensive outfielder that he was known as "Skates" for his habit of falling down while chasing fly balls. He could have also been called "Oops" for the number of times he dropped balls in mid-throw. But he was a good hitter (.371 career on-base percentage), a terrific baserunner (370 steals), and a popular, hustling ballplayer. He won World Series titles with the Phillies, Cardinals and Royals, and two more pennants with Atlanta. Right field shapes up as a platoon featuring Larry Sheets (1984-93), a lefty hitter with some power, and Leroy Stanton (1970-78), a righty who also had some pop. Stanton is best known as one of the guys who the Mets tossed in along with a young Nolan Ryan in order to complete the trade for Jim Fregosi.

Catcher: Louis Santop was a major star in the Negro Leagues. Certainly not as good as Josh Gibson, but a big strong slugger just the same - 6-foot-4 and 240 pounds, which must have made him look like Andre the Giant during the teens and '20s.

Rotation: Lefty Stewart (1921-35) was a pretty solid lefty who won 101 games, mostly for the St. Louis Browns. Lary Sorensen (1977-88) gave up a lot of hits but very few walks and almost no strikeoutss. He had a couple of good years in his early 20s, but very predictably the league caught up to him and starting hitting him harder. He finished his career 93-103. Lil Stoner (1922-31) sounds like a junkie dwarf from Dogpatch, but he was actually a right-handed pitcher whose real name was Ulysses Simpson Grant Stoner. In his better years, he was close to league average in ERA. Lou Sleater (1950-58) is a lefty who walked more batters than he struck out, which is never a good thing. Lev Shreve (1887-90) went 11-24 at age 19 and was out of professional baseball before he turned 21. Whatever career path he pursued, he was probably better at it than he was at pitching.

Bullpen: Closer Lee Smith (1980-97) held the career record for saves (478) until Trevor Hoffman and Mariano Rivera blew past it. He was a 6-foot-6 fireballer who will eventually make it to the Hall of Fame. Luis Sanchez (1981-85) was a pretty solid reliever for the Angels for a few years. Larry Sherry (1958-68) pitched mostly for the Dodgers and was a decent enough reliever. In 1959, he pitched in four World Series games against the White Sox, winning two of them and posting an 0.71 ERA. Len Swormstedt (1901-06) was a career minor-leaguer, but he actually pitched quite well when he got his chances in the majors, as a 2.22 ERA in 65 career innings will attest. Lee Stine (1934-38) won 113 games in the minors and three in the majors, pitching briefly for the 1938 Yankees before they went on to win the World Series. He went into the Navy during World War II at age 29 and never got back into pro baseball after he returned. Les Sweetland (1927-31) had some pretty bad seasons, and in 1928 he led the National League in hit batsmen despite pitching only 135 innings and despite the fact that he never hit that many batters in the rest of his career, so he must have been in a really pissy mood that season. Lefty Schegg (1912) went 0-0 in two games for the Senators at age 22, and no records exist for his minor-league career, if he had one. He was born Gilbert Eugene Price. We can understand why they called him Lefty, but not why they called him Schegg.

Bench: Luke Scott (2205- ), a lefty with some power, will figure into that right field platoon with Stanton and Sheets, and of course, one of them will likely be a defensive replacement for Lonnie Smith in left. Catcher Luke Sewell (1921-42) played a long time, also managed, and is probably most famous as the brother of the Hall of Fame shortstop who never struck out. Len Schulte (1944-46) was probably just as good as Lin Storti, so he could see some playing time at third base. His real name was Schultehenrich, but like a lot of people of German descent in the 1930s and '40s, he changed his name. Louis I. Say (1873-84) was a diminutive shortstop with a fun name ("Louis? I say!"). He is supposedly the inventor of the hidden ball trick, back in 1879, and we're guessing that when the startled baserunner was tagged out, he shouted, "Loius! I say!"

Manager: Larry Shepard, who managed Roberto Clemente's Pirates in between the two World Series appearances, gets the nod. Luke Sewell will help out.