Infield: First baseman Johnny Neun (1925-31) was a pretty forgettable player – a switch-hitting singles hitter with a little bit of speed. But give him this, he knew how to be dramatic. In a relatively brief major-league career (432 games), he managed to turn an unassisted triple play (first person ever to end a game that way), and he once stole home in both games of a doubleheader. Second baseman Jayson Nix (2008- ) has been a .200 hitter (give or take) to this point in his career, and he’s in his late 20s, so let’s guess he isn’t going to blossom into a star. He has a brother named Laynce who also plays in the majors, so apparently their parents like adding that extraneous "Y" to traditional names. Jose Nieves (1998-2001) was an offensive zero, a .240 hitter who didn’t draw walks, didn’t hit for power and didn’t run especially well. Shortstop Junior Noboa (1984-94) was an even weaker hitter than Nieves. In truth, Nix, Nieves and Noboa are all utility infielders, and we’ll probably just send the three of them out to the infield and tell them to go wherever they like as long as all the holes are covered.
Outfield: Center fielder Jim Northrup (1964-75) never drove in 100 runs, but he once drove in 90. Heck, no one else on this roster ever drove in 90 runs in two seasons combined. (Actually, that’s not true, one of our platoon catchers did, and so did the backup first baseman.) Northrup wasn’t a major star, but he was a consistently productive hitter – .270 with some walks, 15-20 home runs, a few doubles and triples. More of a corner outfielder, but he can be stretched to play center. Right fielder Jon Nunnally (1995-2000) was a decent enough role player. He had a little bit of power and he ran OK and he drew some walks. He fizzled pretty quickly and was out of the majors well before he turned 30, but he was a functional lefty stick. Left fielder Jim Norris (1977-80) is your basic .260 hitter with a little bit of speed who played for some very forgettable Cleveland and Texas teams for a few years.
Catcher: Platoon combination of lefty Joe Nolan (1972-85) and righty Jeff Newman (1976-84). Nolan batted .260 and drew just enough walks to avoid being completely useless. Newman batted .220 and never walked, but he had a bit of power, and in 1979-80 he combined for 37 home runs and 127 RBI, which would be really good if he did it in one season but which is only marginally impressive spread over two. Makes him a key offensive contributor on this roster.
Rotation: Joe Niekro (1967-88) won 221 games in his career, narrowly edging Jim Perry for the distinction of being the pitcher with the most career victories without actually having the most victories in his own family. A knuckleballer like Phil, he had his best seasons with Houston in his 30s, and he had a memorable moment late in his career, with Minnesota, when he got caught with a contraband emery board on the mound and tried (unsuccessfully) to avoid detection by flinging it to the ground so that Kent Hrbek could plant his big ol’ grizzly bear foot on it. Joe Nuxhall (1944-66) is famous for a footnote – he pitched two-thirds of an inning at age 15, making him the youngest player in the history of modern baseball – and for his long career as a broadcaster, but that obscures the fact that he was a pretty fair pitcher. After he started his actual career at age 23, he won 135 games, almost all of them for the Reds, and he had some good seasons. He also hit 15 career home runs. The Reds discovered him when they were scouting his father to fill out their roster during World War II, and they decided to sign the kid instead. He sat the bench for quite a while and finally got into one game when Cincinnati was down 13-0 to the Cardinals. He was pitching alright until Stan Musial came up, and the 15-year-old pitcher fell apart. Jaime Navarro (1989-2000) won 116 games in his career. No, really. Navarro led the league in a statistical category eight times – once in losses, twice each in hits allowed, earned runs allowed and wild pitches, and once in batters faced. He wasn’t a great pitcher, but he could plug a hole. Jerry Nops (1896-1901) was a slightly above-average pitcher who 72-41 career record is mostly a testament to the fact that he played for a couple of great Baltimore teams around the turn of the century. Johnny Niggeling (1938-46) was a better pitcher than Jerry Nops, but he had a losing record because he played for the Browns and the Senators. Niggeling was a minor-league veteran (159 wins in the minors) who didn’t make it to the majors until his mid-30s.
Bullpen: Closer Joe Nathan (1999- ) was a decent 28-year-old setup man in San Francisco, but the Giants decided that they really needed A.J. Pierzynski, so they packaged Nathan with Francisco Liriano and Boof Bonser and traded them to Minnesota. Pierzynski played one year with the Giants, in which the most noteworthy thing he did was lead the NL in grounding into double plays. Nathan, meanwhile, became the Twins’ closer and in the ensuing six years he has saved 246 games with a 1.87 ERA and 11 strikeouts per nine innings. He missed 2010 with an injury but is getting back into things in 2011. (Liriano turned out to be pretty good, too, making the Pierzynski trade look that much worse.) Jeff Nelson (1992-2006) was a 6-foot-8 set-up man who stuck around until he was almost 40, and he was largely effective until his arm gave out – an underrated pitcher who struck out a batter an inning and didn’t allow many hits. He pitched in 55 postseason games with the Yankees and Mariners, with a 2.65 ERA, including a 1.69 ERA in 16 World Series games. Julio Navarro (1962-70), Jaime’s father, was nicknamed Whiplash, which could be a good thing (if it refers to the batter’s reaction to his curveball) or a bad thing (if it refers to the pitcher’s reaction to the home runs he gave up, and yes, Navarro did tend to feed the ol’ gopher). He was a very average reliever for six seasons. Joe Nelson (2001-10) spent all or parts of five seasons in the majors, each time with a different team. Jim Nash (1966-72) went 12-1 with a 2.06 ERA in 18 games as a 21-year-old rookie with the Kansas City A’s in 1966. For the remainder of his career he went 56-63 with a 3.78 ERA. Juan Nieves (1986-88) pitched a no-hitter at age 22 and had a career record of 32-25 when arm troubles ended his career at age 23. Jack Nabors (1915-17) had a career record of 1-25, but he grabs the mop-up role out of the bullpen in large part because of his name and because of his adjective-defying season in 1916 for a Philadelphia A’s team that had been decimated by defections to the Federal League and escalating salaries. The team was downright awful, and Nabors pitched as well as anyone else on the staff other than Bullet Joe Bush, but while the rest of the staff went 35-97, Nabors worked 212 innings and went 1-20. Ouch.
Bench: The catching platoon will always leave either Nolan or Newman on the bench. Outfielder Jim Nettles (1970-81) wasn’t as good as his brother Graig, and unlike Joe Niekro, he wasn’t almost as good either. Outfielder Joe Nossek (1964-70) batted .228 in his career. Infielder John Nelson (2006) went 0-for-5 with four strikeouts in his major-league career, but we need someone who can play the infielder after we pinch-hit for our other light-hitting infielders. First baseman Jim Nealon (1906-07) actually led the National League in RBI in 1906 with 83. He was 21 years old. He slumped off, went back to the minors and died at age 25. He’ll push Johnny Neun for the starting job at first base.
Manager: Jerry Narron was a big, slow catcher who couldn’t hit. He has managed the Rangers and the Reds, and while he had losing records with both teams, his record isn’t, like, a train wreck or anything, so he gets the managerial job over Neun.
Outfield: Center fielder Jim Northrup (1964-75) never drove in 100 runs, but he once drove in 90. Heck, no one else on this roster ever drove in 90 runs in two seasons combined. (Actually, that’s not true, one of our platoon catchers did, and so did the backup first baseman.) Northrup wasn’t a major star, but he was a consistently productive hitter – .270 with some walks, 15-20 home runs, a few doubles and triples. More of a corner outfielder, but he can be stretched to play center. Right fielder Jon Nunnally (1995-2000) was a decent enough role player. He had a little bit of power and he ran OK and he drew some walks. He fizzled pretty quickly and was out of the majors well before he turned 30, but he was a functional lefty stick. Left fielder Jim Norris (1977-80) is your basic .260 hitter with a little bit of speed who played for some very forgettable Cleveland and Texas teams for a few years.
Catcher: Platoon combination of lefty Joe Nolan (1972-85) and righty Jeff Newman (1976-84). Nolan batted .260 and drew just enough walks to avoid being completely useless. Newman batted .220 and never walked, but he had a bit of power, and in 1979-80 he combined for 37 home runs and 127 RBI, which would be really good if he did it in one season but which is only marginally impressive spread over two. Makes him a key offensive contributor on this roster.
Rotation: Joe Niekro (1967-88) won 221 games in his career, narrowly edging Jim Perry for the distinction of being the pitcher with the most career victories without actually having the most victories in his own family. A knuckleballer like Phil, he had his best seasons with Houston in his 30s, and he had a memorable moment late in his career, with Minnesota, when he got caught with a contraband emery board on the mound and tried (unsuccessfully) to avoid detection by flinging it to the ground so that Kent Hrbek could plant his big ol’ grizzly bear foot on it. Joe Nuxhall (1944-66) is famous for a footnote – he pitched two-thirds of an inning at age 15, making him the youngest player in the history of modern baseball – and for his long career as a broadcaster, but that obscures the fact that he was a pretty fair pitcher. After he started his actual career at age 23, he won 135 games, almost all of them for the Reds, and he had some good seasons. He also hit 15 career home runs. The Reds discovered him when they were scouting his father to fill out their roster during World War II, and they decided to sign the kid instead. He sat the bench for quite a while and finally got into one game when Cincinnati was down 13-0 to the Cardinals. He was pitching alright until Stan Musial came up, and the 15-year-old pitcher fell apart. Jaime Navarro (1989-2000) won 116 games in his career. No, really. Navarro led the league in a statistical category eight times – once in losses, twice each in hits allowed, earned runs allowed and wild pitches, and once in batters faced. He wasn’t a great pitcher, but he could plug a hole. Jerry Nops (1896-1901) was a slightly above-average pitcher who 72-41 career record is mostly a testament to the fact that he played for a couple of great Baltimore teams around the turn of the century. Johnny Niggeling (1938-46) was a better pitcher than Jerry Nops, but he had a losing record because he played for the Browns and the Senators. Niggeling was a minor-league veteran (159 wins in the minors) who didn’t make it to the majors until his mid-30s.
Bullpen: Closer Joe Nathan (1999- ) was a decent 28-year-old setup man in San Francisco, but the Giants decided that they really needed A.J. Pierzynski, so they packaged Nathan with Francisco Liriano and Boof Bonser and traded them to Minnesota. Pierzynski played one year with the Giants, in which the most noteworthy thing he did was lead the NL in grounding into double plays. Nathan, meanwhile, became the Twins’ closer and in the ensuing six years he has saved 246 games with a 1.87 ERA and 11 strikeouts per nine innings. He missed 2010 with an injury but is getting back into things in 2011. (Liriano turned out to be pretty good, too, making the Pierzynski trade look that much worse.) Jeff Nelson (1992-2006) was a 6-foot-8 set-up man who stuck around until he was almost 40, and he was largely effective until his arm gave out – an underrated pitcher who struck out a batter an inning and didn’t allow many hits. He pitched in 55 postseason games with the Yankees and Mariners, with a 2.65 ERA, including a 1.69 ERA in 16 World Series games. Julio Navarro (1962-70), Jaime’s father, was nicknamed Whiplash, which could be a good thing (if it refers to the batter’s reaction to his curveball) or a bad thing (if it refers to the pitcher’s reaction to the home runs he gave up, and yes, Navarro did tend to feed the ol’ gopher). He was a very average reliever for six seasons. Joe Nelson (2001-10) spent all or parts of five seasons in the majors, each time with a different team. Jim Nash (1966-72) went 12-1 with a 2.06 ERA in 18 games as a 21-year-old rookie with the Kansas City A’s in 1966. For the remainder of his career he went 56-63 with a 3.78 ERA. Juan Nieves (1986-88) pitched a no-hitter at age 22 and had a career record of 32-25 when arm troubles ended his career at age 23. Jack Nabors (1915-17) had a career record of 1-25, but he grabs the mop-up role out of the bullpen in large part because of his name and because of his adjective-defying season in 1916 for a Philadelphia A’s team that had been decimated by defections to the Federal League and escalating salaries. The team was downright awful, and Nabors pitched as well as anyone else on the staff other than Bullet Joe Bush, but while the rest of the staff went 35-97, Nabors worked 212 innings and went 1-20. Ouch.
Bench: The catching platoon will always leave either Nolan or Newman on the bench. Outfielder Jim Nettles (1970-81) wasn’t as good as his brother Graig, and unlike Joe Niekro, he wasn’t almost as good either. Outfielder Joe Nossek (1964-70) batted .228 in his career. Infielder John Nelson (2006) went 0-for-5 with four strikeouts in his major-league career, but we need someone who can play the infielder after we pinch-hit for our other light-hitting infielders. First baseman Jim Nealon (1906-07) actually led the National League in RBI in 1906 with 83. He was 21 years old. He slumped off, went back to the minors and died at age 25. He’ll push Johnny Neun for the starting job at first base.
Manager: Jerry Narron was a big, slow catcher who couldn’t hit. He has managed the Rangers and the Reds, and while he had losing records with both teams, his record isn’t, like, a train wreck or anything, so he gets the managerial job over Neun.
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