JM: The Joe Malones

Infield: Second baseman Joe Morgan (1963-84) was the best player in baseball in the mid-1970s, a guy who did absolutely everything well, as smart a player as you’ve ever seen, and a team leader and spark plug for The Big Red Machine. When he was younger, his greatness was masked by the Astrodome and the hitting conditions of the 1960s, and as he got older he was the sort of guy who was far more valuable than people realized. He is one of the greatest second basemen of all time – maybe the best – and his annoying qualities in the broadcast booth don’t diminish that in the least. For the Reds, he batted second behind Pete Rose. On this team, he will bat second behind third baseman John McGraw (1891-1906), a diminutive spitfire who batted .334 for his career and walked a ton, pushing his career on-base percentage to .466, third-highest of all time. He was every bit as a competitive as Rose – known to get into a fistfight or two, and always ready to trip, clutch or bump an opposing baserunner if he thought he could get away with it. First baseman John Mize (1939-56) will bat cleanup on this team, and with McGraw, Morgan and Joe Mauer batting in front of him, he might drive in 200 runs. Mize was a monstrously good hitter and an annual all-star, and his status among the all-time greats has grown even higher as more advanced statistical analysis has been developed. He was a .312 career hitter who drew walks and hit with power – led the league in home runs and slugging percentage four times each, RBI three times. He starred for a decade for the Cardinals and Giants, and the finished his career with five seasons as one of Casey Stengel’s platoon guys on the Yankees teams that won five straight World Series titles from 1949-53. Mize was 36 when he joined the Yankees, but in five World Series he batted .286/.362/.548. Shortstop Jim Mason (1971-79) looks around at the three Hall of Famers surrounding him in the infield and wonders what the hell he’s doing here. He was a terrible hitter and an adequate fielder, and he might actually be relegated to the bench and serving as a defensive replacement if Jim Morrison (a third baseman who can be stretched) takes over the starting shortstop job. But for now, Mason starts at shortstop and bats eighth or ninth, depending on who’s pitching.

Outfield: Left fielder Joe Medwick (1932-48) had a brief run as a great player and a long run as a good player, which added up to the Hall of Fame. He was known as “Muscles” and “Ducky Wucky” (shortened to “Ducky” by subsequent generations who couldn’t imagine a manly fellow answering to “Ducky Wucky”). In his peak years for the Cardinals, he was a .330 hitter who banged an ungodly number of doubles and triples, as well as 15-20 home runs per year. He was one of the hard-playing, hard-living guys who gave the Gashouse Gang its identity. He batted .379 in the 1934 World Series, and after a hard slide into a Tigers infielder during Game 7 he earned the distinction of being the only player in history ordered to come out of a postseason game for fear that the fans would riot and attack him. Center fielder Johnny Mostil (1918-29) was a decent hitter, a fleet baserunner and a fine defensive outfielder for the White Sox during the 1920s. In 1925, he led the American League in steals, walks and runs. Right fielder Jerry Mumphrey (1974-88) was never a great player, but he was a good player for a long time. He wasn’t great at anything, but he was good at just about everything.

Catcher: Barring anything unforeseen, Joe Mauer (2004- ) will go down as one of the greatest catchers who ever lived. Top 10? Top five? Hard to say, but the man is in the middle of his prime and already has three batting titles, two Gold Gloves and an MVP.

Rotation: Juan Marichal (1960-75) was a great pitcher with a high leg kick and a fiery temperament. Between 1963-69, he went 154-65 with an ERA of 2.34 but he never won a Cy Young Award because of a couple of guys named Koufax and Gibson. He finished his career at 243-142 with a 2.89 ERA. Jose Mendez was a Negro League star from Cuba. He gained fame in 1908 when the Cincinnati Reds traveled to Havana for a series of exhibitions. Mendez, 21 years old, pitched three times against the Reds and allowed eight hits and no runs in 25 innings, striking out two dozen. Iron Man Joe McGinnity (1899-1908) was a deadball workhorse who routinely led the National League in games pitched, innings pitched and victories. He played for some great teams, finished at 246-142 with a 2.66 career ERA. Jim Maloney (1960-71) was a flame-throwing right-hander for the Cincinnati Reds who was overpowering at his peak but who burned out due to arm problems. Between the ages of 23-26, he went 74-34 and had more strikeouts than hits (by a margin of more than 200). He threw two no-hitters and finished with a record of 134-84, but his legacy rests on a few years during the pitcher’s era when he was dominant. Some folks want to put Jack Morris (1977-94) in the Hall of Fame, but on this team he’s battling with Maloney for the right to be #4 in the rotation. (After all, the first three guys are in the Hall of Fame, and Marichal and McGinnity both finished 100 games over .500 for their careers.) The Hall of Fame case for Morris rests on his 254 career victories and his record in the postseason (seven playoff victories, three World Series titles with three different teams, and a legendary 10-inning shutout in Game 7 of the 1991 World Series.) But his career victory total, in truth, reflects that he was a good, durable pitcher who played for a lot of good teams – not anywhere close to the best pitchers of the previous generation (Seaver, Palmer, Carlton, etc.) or of the generation that followed (Clemens, Maddux, Pedro, The Big Unit, etc.).

Bullpen: Jeff Montgomery (1987-99) was the closer in Kansas City in the post-Quisenberry era. As such, he didn’t get a lot of attention, but he was a heck of a pitcher for a while there and he finished with 304 career saves. Jose Mesa (1987-2007) saved even more games (321), but he wasn’t as good a pitcher as Montgomery. He hung around a long time, pitched for eight teams, and he’ll be the primary setup guy here. Johnny Murphy (1932-47) was the relief ace for the DiMaggio-era Yankees, back when the role of relief ace was still evolving. He actually led the league in saves four times (compared to one apiece for Montgomery and Mesa), but no one knew it at the time because the statistic hadn’t been invented yet. In a way, he was the forerunner of Mariano Rivera, pitching in six World Series for the Yankees with a 1.10 ERA. He worked just eight games, 16 innings, in those six World Series so he’s not really that comparable to Rivera, but still, a 1.10 ERA over the course of six World Series (all of which the Yankees won) is pretty damn good. The four “long men” in the bullpen are actually accomplished starters who couldn’t crack this team’s hellacious rotation – John “The Count” Montefusco (1974-86), Joe Magrane (1987-96), Black Jack McDowell (1987-99) and the ageless Jamie Moyer (1986- ), who has more career wins than Jack Morris, basically the same winning percentage and the same ERA (relative to league average). Magrane was a lefty who could have been really good if he could have stayed healthy. McDowell at his peak was very similar to Jack Morris, a solid, durable guy who could win a lot of games if his team was any good. He was a Stanford graduate and a rock and roll guitarist in various bands with names like V.I.E.W. (which once toured with the Smithereens) and Stickfigure.

Bench: Justin Morneau (2003- ) is one hell of a pinch-hitter – one MVP award and a runner-up finish – but he ain’t about to move John Mize off of first base. He was having a sensational year in 2010 when he got kicked in the head while trying to break up a double play, and he is still trying to get his career back on track after the ensuing concussion. He and Mauer will room together on the road. Jim Morrison (1977-88) was a third baseman with some pop, 112 career home runs. He won’t supplant McGraw, but he did play a little shortstop and could nudge Jim Mason off that spot if the team decides to go with the stick over the glove. Outfielder JoJo Moore (1930-41) was a .300 hitter who started for three New York Giants pennant winners, and he’ll see some time in the outfield for this team. Joe McEwing (1988-2006) was a popular, hustling role player who wasn’t much of a hitter but who could literally play anywhere on the diamond other than catcher. His versatility gets him the final spot on the bench over John Milner, who was a good hitter but could only play left field and first base (and not very well). Backup catcher J.C. Martin (1959-72) will only start when Joe Mauer specifically asks for a day off.

Manager: Joe McCarthy might be the greatest manager of all time, a master strategist and motivator who won nine pennants and seven World Series titles and had a career winning percentage of .615 with the Cubs, Yankees and Red Sox. We’re guessing that McGraw (11 pennants, three World Series titles) will weigh in with his opinion on pretty much every move. Jack McKeon and John McNamara will be around to fetch coffee, sweep out the dugout and run errands as needed.