GS: The Getrude Steins

Infield: First baseman George Sisler (1915-30) was a very fine player, a Hall of Famer, but it’s easy to overstate his greatness. He batted .340 lifetime and had a couple of seasons over .400. He had 257 hits in a season and a 41-game hitting streak, and he led the American League in stolen bases four times. But he played in an era of high batting averages, and in the context in which he played, his on-base and slugging percentages were not as high as you would expect. He played his best years with the St. Louis Browns in a park that was a hitter’s paradise – the year he had 257 hits, he batted .473 at home and .341 on the road. At age 30, he missed the entire 1923 season with an eye ailment, and though he returned to play many more years, he wasn’t anything like the player he was before the missed season. Historians and statistical analysts have come to believe that his reputation for defensive greatness was tremendously exaggerated. None of this is to insult the man. He was a very fine player. George Scott (1966-79) was “Boomer” before Berman, Esiason or that doctor on “St. Elsewhere.” He spent most of his career at first base, but Sisler’s presence will move Boomer to his secondary position of third base. Scott was a good hitter -- .268 lifetime, with 271 home runs and 1,051 RBI – and a fun guy to watch. He wasn’t fast, but he was a smart, aggressive baserunner who used to wear a necklace that he joked was “made out of second basemen’s teeth.” He would occasionally score from second base on a sacrifice fly if the ball was hit deep enough and he sensed that the defense was playing a bit lax. Second baseman Germany Schaefer (1901-18) was a fairly ordinary player who had a rather extraordinary presence on the field. He was one of the most colorful people ever associated with baseball, and stories about his antics abound. He once dove headfirst while stealing a base and later explained that he couldn’t slide because he didn’t want to crush the cigar he had in his back pocket. An oft-told story, surely exaggerated but apparently grounded in a true incident from 1906, has him stepping to the plate as a pinch-hitter in the bottom of the ninth inning, grandly introducing himself to the crowd and announcing that he is about to hit a home run into the left-field bleachers, then hitting just such a home run and, after rounding the bases, informing the crowd, “This concludes today’s performance.” In one famous stunt, with runners on first and third, Schaefer stole second base in an attempt to draw a throw that would allow his teammate to score. When the catcher didn’t make the throw, Schaefer tried again by running back to first base on the next pitch. The umpire acknowledged that this was a legal ploy, so baseball quickly changed the rules to state that a player cannot run the bases backward. After his playing career, he worked as a coach and would try to distract opponents with such tricks as walking on the foul line as though it were a tightrope, or sitting in foul territory and using two bats to pantomime rowing a boat. Shortstop Germany Smith (1884-98) shared a name with Germany Schaefer, but not a demeanor. He was a very weak hitter but a decent enough defensive infielder, though he was one of the teammates who intentionally kicked the ball around throughout an 1885 game in Brooklyn to humiliate an arrogant young pitcher who had introduced himself as Phenomenal Smith.

Outfield: Right fielder Gary Sheffield (1988-2009) came to the majors as a brash young third baseman who couldn’t get along with anyone and who admitted that he made errors on purpose so that the Brewers would give in to his request for a trade. He matured quite a bit after that point, but he frequently bickered with management, made controversial statements, and was accused of steroid use during a long career with eight different teams. All of that is true. So is this: The man could hit. For his career he batted .292 with 509 home runs and 1,676 RBI. He ran well enough to steal 253 bases, and while he was not an especially good outfielder, he had a powerful arm. Center fielder Grady Sizemore (2004-) is right in the prime of his career but seems to have gotten sidetracked by injuries. In his early 20s, he was a .280 hitter with tons of doubles, the potential for 30 homers and 30 steals, a good batting eye and Gold Glove defense in center field. He’s been struggling for a couple of years now. He still has time to get his game back and become an all-star again, but each season adrift makes that less likely. Left fielder George Stone (1903-10) put a lucrative banking career on hold in his mid-20s to playe for the St. Louis Browns, and as a 28-year-old rookie in 1905 he led the American League in hits with 187. The following year he led the league in batting (.358), slugging (.501) and on-base (.417). He was never close to that level again, though he remained a good player for the rest of his career.

Catcher: Geovany Soto (2005- ) was the NL Rookie of the Year in 2008 when he batted .285 with 23 home runs. He slumped off the next season and has been up-and-down since, though he is certainly a solid catcher.

Rotation: Lefty Greg Swindell (1986-2002) was a star at University of Texas, taken by the Indians with the second pick of the 1986 draft and rushed to the majors after three starts at Single-A. He acquitted himself well and then, after an elbow injury interrupted his rookie year, he had several seasons of very fine pitching for bad Cleveland teams. He wasn’t overpowering but had outstanding control, and when his effectiveness began to wane as a starter he moved to the bullpen and had several more good years, winning a World Series title with Arizona in 2001. George Suggs (1908-15) was a diminutive righty who won 20 games for Cincinnati in 1910 and who jumped to the Federal League and won 24 for Baltimore. He was a lifelong resident of Kinston, N.C., and played a large role in landing a Carolina League team for his hometown. George Stone (1967-75) was a tall lefty who spent most of his career with the Atlanta Braves. He was teammates with his cousin, reliever Cecil Upshaw, who had the save in a dozen of Stone’s victories. He had a very good year (12-3, 2.80) as a swingman for the pennant-winning 1973 Mets, but his career went downhill after that. Garrett Stephenson (1996-2003) went 16-9 for the Cardinals in 2000; for the rest of his career he was 23-30. George A. Smith (1916-23) went to Columbia University and was known as “Columbia George.” He was a relatively average pitcher who ended up with a miserable record of 41-81 largely because he spent a few year with some dreadful Philadelphia A’s teams in the moribund stage between Connie Mack’s powerhouses.

Bullpen: Closer Gerry Staley (1947-61) was a good starter for the Cardinals (winning 54 games from 1951-53) but had his best seasons after he went to the White Sox and shifted to the bullpen. He was a durable, effective reliever for several years. Lefty George Sherrill (2004- ) will set up Staley and pick up some closing opportunities as well. He’s an erratic but occasionally overpowering pitcher, and he averages a strikeout per inning. George Spencer (1950-51) had a good year for the NL champion Giants in 1951, but that season accounted for more than half of his career innings and more than half of his career wins (though he was in the majors for parts of eight seasons). He was a good minor-league pitcher and a passabale one in the bigs. George S. Smith (1926-30), who spent most of his career with Detroit, gave up a few too many hits and way too many walks. George Susce (1955-59) was the son of a catcher named George Susce whose nickname was “Good Kid.” George Junior didn’t have a nickname, but we’ll call him “Egbert,” in honor of W.C. Fields. George “Egbert” Susce had a decent career for the Red Sox. Gene Stechschulte (2000-02) had a largely forgettable career with the Cardinals, but it was fun to hear the announcers pronouncing his gutteral last name. Glenn Spencer (1928-33) spent most of his career with the Pirates and then finished up with the championship Giants of 1933.

Bench: George “Twinkletoes” Selkirk (1934-42) inherited right field in Yankee Stadium from Babe Ruth, and he was a fine player – a .300 hitter who drove in 100 runs twice. Because he played for the Yankees, he won six AL pennants and five World Series titles. Backup catcher Gabby Street (1904-12) was a poor hitter but a decent catcher who worked a lot with Walter Johnson. He was a veteran of both the Spanish-American War and World War II, and he later managed the Cardinals to the 1931 World Series title and spent several years as a broadcaster in St. Louis. A colorful character, he is perhaps most famous for a stunt in which he caught a baseball dropped from the top of the Washington Monument. First baseman Gus Suhr (1930-40) will step in when Sisler’s double vision is acting up. Suhr was a consistent, durable player for the Pirates, and his streak of 822 consecutive games was a National League record for several years. George Stovall (1904-15) was a light hitting infielder (and player-manager) who spent most of his career in Cleveland. His nickname, “Firebrand,” suggests that he had a bit of a temper. Utility infielder Gary Sutherland (1966-78) couldn’t hit, was a terrible base runner and wasn’t a very good fielder, but he stuck around for more than a decade because teams valued his versatility.

Manager: Gentleman George Stallings, most famous for leading the Boston Braves to their Miracle championship of 1914, will run the team. He was famous as an early proponent of platooning, so look for him to make ample use of guys like Selkirk and Suhr. Between eccentrics like Germany Schaefer and Gabby Street, and hotheads like Gary Sheffield and George Stovall, Stallings will have his hands full. Street and Stovall will no doubt help him with his managerial chores, as will Sisler. Stallings will be getting more advice than he wants. And, God help him, he gets to do it all under the watchful eye of team owner George Steinbrenner.