EM: The Eddie Moneys

Infield: First baseman Eddie Murray and third baseman Eddie Mathews give this team a pair of Hall of Famers on the corner, and in doing so, in the absence of a designated hitter, they relegate Edgar Martinez to the bench, making him almost certainly the best player to be denied a starting job in this whole Baseball Initially project. Murray (1977-97) was one of the most consistent sluggers of all time, and he finished his career with 3,255 hits, 504 home runs, 1,917 RBI and 1,627 runs. He had six seasons of 100 or more RBI, and another six with 90-99 RBI, plus the 1981 season in which he had a league-leading 78 RBI despite the season being shortened by the strike. For good measure, he also won three Gold Gloves. Mathews (1952-68) was the greatest third baseman of all time before Brett and Schmidt arrived on the scene. He was actually a similar player to Schmidt, a .270 hitter who walked 100 times a year and hit 512 home runs. He wasn’t as good as Schmidt with the glove, but he was good, and he teamed with Hank Aaron for a decade to form one of baseball’s great power-hitting duos. Shortstop Ed McKean (1887-99) was a small, speedy guy who batted .302 for his career. He was a fine, durable player – first man ever with 600 at-bats in a season – and he finished his career with 2,084 hits, 1,124 RBI and 1,227 runs. Second baseman Eric “Boob” McNair (1929-42) came up at age 20 with Connie Mack’s powerhouse Philadelphia A’s and was a part-time player with the championship teams of 1930-31. He moved into a full-time job in 1932 and led the American League with 47 doubles, and while he never developed into a star, he was good enough to hang around the majors until his mid-30s.

Outfield: Center fielder Eddie Milner (1980-88) had great speed and was a terrific defensive outfielder. He had a little bit of pop and a good batting eye. He wasn’t a great player, but he had enough skills to be a valuable piece of a good team under the right circumstances. Left fielder Elmer Miller (1912-22) was a fine minor-league hitter who never did much in the majors, though he did lead the AL by getting hit by pitches nine times in 1917, the only time in his career that he ever appeared in more than 100 games. Right fielder Honest Eddie Murphy (1912-26) also led the league in being hit by a pitch – 14 times in 1914, the same year he also led the league by getting thrown out stealing 32 times. That said, he was a better hitter than either Milner or Miller – a .287 career average with a very good batting eye, but no power at all. Given the chance to bat in the 2-hole, behind McKean and ahead of Murray and Mathews, he could score 100 runs.

Catcher: Ed McFarland (1893-1908) was a .270 hitter with decent defensive skills who put together a respectable career in the deadball era.

Rotation: Ed “Cannonball” Morris (1884-90) was one of those short-career workhorse types from the 1880s. He arrived on the scene at age 21 and proceeded to win 114 games in his first three seasons, starting 59 games and working 522 innings per season. He had a good run but a relatively short one, posting one more good season after age 23 and finishing his career with 171 victories. Earl Moore (1901-14) was known as “Crossfire,” which suggests that he was probably a sidearmer, and he was also known as “Steam Engine in Boots,” which suggests that he either threw hard or had breathing difficulties. He won 163 games in his career and led the AL in ERA in 1903 (20-8, 1.74 for Cleveland). He led the league in walks twice and losses once, but also led in strikeouts once. In 1908, he set a record that still stands – most innings pitched in a season with a 0.00 earned-run average (26 innings). He did give up four unearned runs that year, leading to his 2-1 record. Eric Milton (1998-2009) was a first-round draft pick and big-name prospect with the Yankees before he was traded to the Twins as part of a four-player package for Chuck Knoblauch. Milton had a decent career, tossing a no-hitter in 1999 and winning 13-15 games four times between 2000-04, but his career was cut short by back surgery. Erskine Mayer (1912-19) had a couple of fine years for the Phillies, winning 21 games in 1914 and then matching that total the following season. In 1915, he pitched in the first World Series game attended by the president of the United States (Woodrow Wilson), and he finished his major-league career in 1919 with an inning of mop-up relief in the World Series for the Black Sox. Elmer Myers (1915-22) wasn’t a great pitcher, and he didn’t pitch for great teams. He went 55-72 for his career.

Bullpen: This will absolutely be a “committee” bullpen, in the worst sense of the word. Euel “Chief” Moore (1934-36) saved three games for the Phillies, but his career record (9-16, 5.48 ERA) suggests that he might have problems closing games. Edward Mujica (2006- ) is a Venezuelan righty who has emerged as a decent middle reliever for the Padres. He might actually take over the closer role here. Big Ed Morris (1922-31) came up with the Cubs at age 22 and got lit up a few times before returning to the minors. He resurfaced with the Red Sox six years later and was an average pitcher for a few seasons. Ernie McAnally (1971-74) was primarily a starter for the Expos, but he will most likely work as an inning-eating workhorse out of the pen here. Ed Moyer (1910) is no relation to Jamie, though they are roughly the same age. Ha ha, just kidding. Ed Moyer worked three games with the Senators in 1910, and his career ERA of 3.24 looks much better today than it did back then (the league-wide ERA that year was 2.52). Ed Murphy (1898-1903) pitched mostly for the Cardinals at the turn of the century, and similar to Moyer, he had a career ERA (3.64) that looks a lot better today than it does in the context of his time. Earl Moseley (1913-16) led the upstart Federal League in ERA (1.91) in 1915. He played for four teams in four seasons, jumping around three leagues, and finished with a 49-48 career record.

Bench: Edgar Martinez (1987-2004) was one of the best hitters of his generation but never became a household name because he played in Seattle, was overshadowed by Griffey and the Big Unit, and had a quiet demeanor. He came up as a third baseman and was alright defensively but had injury problems, which prompted the Mariners to make him a full-time designated hitter. He thrived in that role, winning two batting titles and leading the AL in on-base percentage three times, doubles twice, and runs and RBI once apiece. He was a .312 career hitter who averaged, per 162 games, 41 doubles, 24 home runs and 101 walks. There are fans in Seattle who give him credit for keeping the franchise there.The team was on the verge of moving out of town in 1995, when the Mariners made the playoffs for the first time in franchise history. In the ALDS against the Yankees, Martinez batted .571, drove in 10 runs in five games and came up with the game-winning hit in the bottom of the 11th inning of the decisive fifth game, electrifying the fan base and renewing interest in the team. On the E.M. team, shoved to the bench by two Hall of Famers, he looks to be one hell of a pinch-hitter. Elliot Maddox (1970-80) was a valuable role player – a decent outfielder and an average hitter who could be stretched to play third base and who, in fact, played every position but pitcher and catcher at some point in his career. Eddie Miller (1936-50) was a brilliant defensive shortstop who could hit a dozen home runs a year. He was picked for seven all-star teams and received MVP votes in eight different seasons (though he only finished in the top 10 in the voting once). Eli Marrero (1997-2006) came up as a catcher with the Cardinals. He missed most of the 2000 season while recovering from thyroid cancer, and when he returned he was used a utility man who could play outfield, first or catch. He was never a very good hitter, but he was occasionally effective in a platoon role. Earl McNeely (1924-31) was an outfielder who, as a rookie, gave the Washington Senators their only World Series title, delivering a walk-off double in the bottom of the 12th in Game 7 to defeat the Giants. That was the highlight of his career.

Manager: Earle Mack, born Earle Thaddeus McGillicuddy, had bloodlines in his favor. The son of Connie Mack, he had a brief playing career and then became one of his dad’s coaches. Twice, in 1937 and 1939, he filled in for his dad as manager of the Philadelphia A’s. His career record was 45-77. Earle looks forward to the schedule dates when the Eddie Moneys take on the Cornbread Maxwells.

ER: The Emergency Room

Infield: Shortstop Edgar Renteria (1996- ) has had quite a career. He’s gone to the World Series with three different teams, winning unexpected championships with Florida in 1997 (he had the walk-off RBI single in the 11th inning of Game 7) and with San Francisco in 2010 (he was named MVP of the Series). He finished the 2011 season with 2,327 hits and 1,200 runs, but he appears to be running out of gas in his mid-30s. He’s played in five all-star games and won two Gold Gloves. First baseman Eddie Robinson (1942-57) was a big, slow lefty slugger who moved around so much that in his 13-year career he played for seven of the “original eight” American League teams (the only one he missed was the Red Sox, and he later served as a scout for that team). He was a fine hitter who had some pop and rarely struck out. The start of his career was delayed by military service, but he made up for lost time, winning a World Series title with Cleveland in 1948 and driving in 323 runs in three years during his early 30s. Third baseman Ernest Riles (1985-93) and second baseman Ed Romero (1977-90) were both journeyman utility infielders, and they were teammates for a while with the Milwaukee Brewers in the mid-1980s. They were both weak hitters, though Riles was certainly better than Romero.

Outfield: Center fielder Edd Roush (1913-31) won two batting titles, hit .323 for his career and was an exceptional defensive outfielder in a career than landed him in the Hall of Fame. He spent most of his career in Cincinnati, winning a (tainted) World Series title in 1919 against the Black Sox. He was a classic contact hitter from his era, striking out about 20 times a year, stealing bases and legging out doubles and triples. Roush lived to be 94 and was the last surviving guy who had played in the upstart Federal League. Right fielder Earl Robinson (1958-64) was a decent young hitter for the Orioles whose career ended in his late 20s due to injuries. A two-sport star at University of California, he later became a basketball coach at the junior college level. Left fielder Earl Rapp (1949-52) spent three years in the majors and was traded at midseason in each year. A .262 career batting average with no power or speed to speak of.

Catcher: Ellie Rodriguez (1968-76) came up with the Yankees during their post-Mantle doldrums, then spent a few years with the foundling Kansas City Royals and Milwaukee Brewers. A decent contact hitter with a good batting eye, he was good enough to plug holes in major-league lineups for several seasons.

Rotation: Lefty Eppa Rixey (1912-33) won 266 games for the Reds and Phillies. He also lost 251 games. He had four seasons of 20 or more victories and two seasons of 20 or more losses. He was a durable, solid pitcher who made it to the Hall of Fame on the bases of his career victory total. Rixey was a University of Virginia graduate who earned a Master’s degree in chemistry duing the offseason. He also taught Latin to high school students. Eddie Rommel (1920-32) was a better pitcher than Rixey, in a shorter career, and he did not make the Hall of Fame. Rommel, a knuckleballer for the Philadelphia A’s, went 171-119 while splitting his time between the rotation and the bullpen. Rommel was a “pitch to contact” guy – he struck out fewer than 600 batters in 2,556 career innings – and in 1922 he went 27-13 for the 65-89 A’s. After he retired, he had a long career as an umpire. Big Ed Reulbach (1905-17) was also better than Rixey in a shorter career and also didn’t make the Hall of Fame. His career record was 182-106, and pitching for the powerhouse Cubs he led the NL in winning percentage from 1906-08. He was on four pennant winners and two World Series champions. Eric Rasmussen (1975-83) won 11 of his 50 career victories under his birth name, Harry Rasmussen. He changed his name to Eric before the 1977 season, saying that he wanted a name to reflect his Scandanavian ancestry. (He named his first-born son Harry. Go figure.) He finished with a 50-77 record. Elmer Riddle (1939-49) pitched for the Reds during World War II, leading the NL in ERA and winning percentage in 1941 and in victories in 1943. When the war ended, Riddle wasn’t very good anymore. Riddle’s record was 47-26 with a 2.76 ERA from 1941-43, and he was 18-26 with a 4.46 ERA for the rest of his career.

Bullpen: Closer Ed Roebuck (1955-66) will room with Ed Reulbach, just to confuse the people at the hotel. Roebuck pitched for the Dodgers during the transitional period between Brooklyn and L.A., winning two pennants and a World Series title. He won 52 games and saved 62. Spent some time with the Senators and Phillies at the end of his career. Enrique Romo (1977-82) pitched in Mexico for more than a decade before coming to the majors at age 29. He won 44 and saved 52 for the Mariners and the Pirates, winning a World Series title with Pittsburgh in 1979. Eduardo Rodriguez (1973-79) was a durable, consistent reliever who won 42 games in his career, mostly for the early Milwaukee Brewers teams. Ed “Rock” Rakow (1960-67) went 36-47 while splitting his career between the rotation and the pen for four teams. Edwar Ramirez (2007- ) has won seven games in the majors and pitched for the 2008 World Series champion Yankees. His career may have run out of steam, as he got hammered during a brief season in Mexico in 2011, but he is just in his early 30s and could resurface. And, yes, it’s Edwar, not Edward. Lefty Erasmo Ramirez (2003-07) won eight games for the Rangers. Eddy Rodriguez (2004-06) won two games for the Orioles.

Bench: Utility man Ed Rowen (1882-84) and backup catcher Emmett Rogers (1890) weren’t very good players, but they had great mustaches. Infielder Eddie Rogers (2002-06) played in 30 games and had 30 plate appearances. He was occasionally used as a pinch-runner but was thrown out on both stolen base attempts. Infielder Ed Roetz (1929) batted .244 for the St. Louis Browns. Outfielder Eric Reed (2006-07) played briefly for Florida, and in a fit of statistical sadism, manager Fredi Gonzalez gave him just one more at-bat in 2007 so that Reed’s career numbers would be 6-for-61 and a .098 batting average.

Manager: Edwin Rodriguez managed the Marlins at the end of 2010 and the start of 2011. His career record is 78-85. He had some success at first but resigned early in the 2011 season while his team was on a 1-17 tailspin. First Puerto Rican manager in major-league history.

ES: The Esix Sneads

Infield: Second baseman Eddie Stanky (1943-53) was a diminutive firebrand known as “The Brat.” He was a .270 hitter, but he drew a huge number of walks – he led the National League three times, including two seasons of more than 140 walks – and the pitchers weren’t working around him because of his power. His batting eye led to a career on-base percentage of .410, and he scored a lot of runs – over 100 twice, and four more times at 90 or above. For his career, he had 996 walks and just 374 strikeouts. He played for five different NL teams in his career, in part because of his feisty personality, but he was a very valuable player and had a good reputation on defense as well. Shortstop Everett Scott (1914-26) gives this team a double play combination of “The Deacon” and “The Brat,” which sounds like the title for a bad sitcom, or maybe a 1970s farce starring Dom Deluise and Robbie Rist. Scott, a slick fielder with an anemic bat, spent most of his career with the Red Sox and Yankees and won four World Series titles. He played in 1,307 consecutive games, a record that was subsequently surpassed by his Yankees teammate Lou Gehrig. Third baseman Ezra Sutton (1871-88) was a fine player in baseball’s early years, a career .294 hitter who led the National League in hits in 1884 at age 34. First baseman Earl Sheely (1921-31) was a good player who batted .300 in his major-league career, mostly with the White Sox, but who also had a long and prosperous career in the minors. Adding them together, he had 3,659 hits in pro baseball, which included 680 doubles and 245 home runs.

Outfield: Among Hall of Famer Enos Slaughter and the two unrelated Elmer Smiths, there’s not a natural center fielder, so the specific positioning among the outfielders is sort of in flux. Slaughter (1938-59) was a legendary hustler, batting .300 and scoring 1,242 runs, mostly for the Cardinals. He was a North Carolina boy, known as “Country,” and his reputation suffered some with future generations because he was frequently identified as one of the ringleaders of an attempted players strike to protest Jackie Robinson breaking the color line. During that 1947 seasons, Slaughter viciously spiked Robinson on a play at first base, though he always insisted that it was not an act of racism but simply a reflection of the style of play that earned him a reputation for dirty play. In effect, Slaughter said he would have spiked any first baseman – black or white – on that particular play. He won two World Series titles with the Cardinals – including his famous “mad dash” from first to home to beat the Red Sox in 1946 – and then won two more in his 40s as one of Casey Stengel’s role players with the Yankees. Elmer John Smith (1914-25) was a fine outfielder for Cleveland, and he hit the first grand slam in World Series history – in Game 5 of the 1920 Series, the same game in which teammate Bill Wambsganss turned the only unassisted triple play in postseason history. Smith was a good hitter with some power but only had one season in which he played more than 130 games. Elmer Ellsworth Smith (1886-1901) started out as a pitcher – he won 34 games and led the American Association in ERA in 1887 – but was converted to the outfield and finished his career with an on-base percentage of .398, one of the top 100 on-base averages of all time. He batted .310, drew a lot of walks, and he averaged 26 doubles and 18 triples per 162 games over the course of his career. He will be called upon, as needed, to work some long relief and maybe even make a spot start or two.

Catcher: Earl “Oil” Smith (1919-30) was a good, smart catcher who batted .300 over the course of a career that was spent largely in platoons. Twice in his career, he was given the opportunity to play more than 100 games, and in those two seasons he batted .313 and .346. He won World Series titles with the Giants and the Pirates and also won a pennant with the Cardinals.

Rotation: Ervin Santana (2005- ) is just now hitting his prime. His record is good – he was 76-55 coming into the 2011 season – but his ERA is no better than league average. He is a solid, durable starter on a good team, and a no-hitter in 2011 doesn't hurt his resume. Eric Show (1981-91) had a similar career with the Padres, with a 101-89 record and an ERA right around league aveage – but his career was a star-crossed mixed bag. He gave up Pete Rose’s hit to break Ty Cobb’s record, and he sat on the mound and pouted during the ensuing ceremony. In 1987, after Andre Dawson hit a home run off of him, Show drilled Dawson in the face with a pitch, prompting several Cubs to charge out of the dugout after Show while Dawson lay in the dirt bloodied. Eventually, Dawson got up and chased Show around the infield as well. Show was an intellectual who often had a hard time relating to less literate teammates; bothered by the large salary he drew as a pro athlete, he would freqently walk to dinner during road trips and pick up a homeless man en route to the restaurant to share dinner with him. Proclaiming that “Ronald Reagan is too far to the left for me,” Show became an outspoken member of the hard-right John Birch Society and recruited a couple of Padres teammates to join him in handing out the group’s literature. He eventually become highly unpopular with teammates, and his use of amphetamines and painkillers ultimately led him to crystal meth and cocaine. Addiction brought his career to a rather sudden end, and he died at age 38 in a rehab clinic. Lefty Eddie Smith (1936-47) was probably a better pitcher than Santana or Show, but he finished his career 40 games below .500 (73-113) because he played for bad teams. Pitching for the White Sox, he was selected for the all-star games in 1941-42, despite going 13-17 and 7-20 in those seasons. He pitched for a decade and never had a winning season, but his career ERA was markedly better than league average. Lefty Ed Siever (1901-08) led the AL with a 1.91 ERA in 1902 but had an 8-11 record for the Tigers. He pitched consistently well for several years but did not get along (or even pretend to get along) with Ty Cobb, and the Tigers released him as soon as his stats started to slip. Ed Stein (18990-98) holds the career record for most victories by a pitcher with the initials E.S. Go figure. He went 109-78. His single-season high was 27 victories, but this was at a time when a pitcher had to be in the mid-30s to lead the league.

Bullpen: Closer Elias Sosa (1972-83) was a solid but unspectacular pitcher during an itinerant career. Three times he posted save totals in the teens, but he never had 20 in a season. He finished his career with 83 saves. Ernie Shore (1912-20) was primarily a starter but gained his niche in baseball lore with the greatest long relief performance in history. On June 23, 1917, Red Sox starting pitcher George Herman “Babe” Ruth walked the Washington Senators’ leadoff batter on four pitches, then got ejected for attempting to attack the home plate umpire. Shore took over on the mound, and the baserunner was summarily thrown out attempting to steal. Shore then retired 26 straight batters, good for a combined no-hitter facing the minimum number of batters. That game remains Shore’s legacy, but he was a good pitcher and a key member of two championship teams, going 3-1 with a 1.82 ERA in the 1915-16 World Series for the Red Sox. Ed Seward (1885-91) was born Edwart Sourhardt but changed his name, perhaps in honor of Lincoln’s secretary of state but more likely becaue he didn’t like the name Sourhardt. Seward was primarily a starter and won 81 games between 1887-89. Ed Sprague Sr. (1968-76) bounced around the majors for a few years and was occasionally effective – but only occasionally. Elmer Singleton (1945-59) won 184 games in the minors (and lost 186), to go along with an 11-17 record in the majors. He washed out of the bigs in his early 30s but returned to pitch for the Cubs in his 40s. Eddie Stack (1910-14), and we assume he was a junkballer because if he had any kind of fastball at all, he surely would have been nicknamed “Smoke.” Everett Stull (1997-2002) had a long career in the minors but only brief cups o’coffee in the majors.

Bench: Ed Sprague Jr. (1991-2001) was a corner infielder who hit 152 home runs but never fully mastered the strike zone. He hit a walk-off home run in Game 2 of the 1992 World Series, winning back the hearts of Toronto Blue Jays fans who had been booing Sprague ever since his wife edged out a Canadian opponent for the Olympic gold medal in synchronized swimming earlier that year. Outfielder-first baseman Ed Swartwood (1881-92) led the American Association in hitting in 1884, and from the looks of things he was a heck of a hitter. He will push Sheely for the starting first base job. Between Swartwood and Sprague, this team will have some serious punch off the bench. Emmett Seery (1884-92) was a contemporary of Swartwood’s, a pint-sized outfielder who bounced around for several years in the early days of the major leagues. Ed Sicking (1916-27) was a light-hitting infielder. Switch-hitter Ebba St. Claire (1951-54) is the backup catcher. Look for the team’s namesake, Esix Snead, to be a September callup. Though he only spent a few weeks in the majors, primarily as a pinch-runner, he made quite an impression on all who saw him play during his minor-league career – stealing 507 bases and playing center field as though his very livelihood depended upon his making sure that no ball ever landed anywhere in the outfield grass.

Manager: Eddie Sawyer had only two winning records in his years at the helm of the Phillies, but he will always be remembered as the manager of the 1950 pennant-winning Whiz Kids. We’re guessing that Eddie Stanky will offer his two cents regarding in-game strategies.

EW: The Edgar Winter Group

Infield: Third baseman Ed Williamson (1878-90), who also answered to “Ned,” was one of the first stars of major-league baseball. He played for the White Sox in Chicago’s Lake Front Park, with its 196-foot right field fence. The original ground rules dictated that a ball hit over that fence would go as a double, and in 1883 Williamson hit 49 doubles. In 1884 the ground rules changed to make balls over that fence a home run, and he hit 27. Based on those two seasons, heheld the single-season record for doubles (until it was broken four years later) and the single-season record for home runs (until Ruth broke it in 1919). His numbers are unremarkable, but players of his era spoke of Williamson almost reverentially. He was a big fellow, listed at 5-11 and 210 pounds, but he moved nimbly and was tremendously respected. First baseman Edgar Wesley was a Negro League slugger of the 1920s. He was a lefty who batted around .320 and hit with power, and while his name never became well known among modern fans, there are those who argue that he should have been considered by the special committee to select Negro Leaguers for the Hall of Fame. Second baseman Enrique Wilson (1997-2004) was a light-hitting infielder who played for very good teams in Cleveland and New York, making it to two World Series with the Yankees. Shortstop Ed Wheeler (1945) was a decent minor-league hitter with good speed who batted .194 in a brief stay with the Indians.

Outfield: Earl Webb (1925-33) was a fine player who is nonetheless remembered today for just one thing – holding one of the more anomalous records in baseball history. In 1931, playing for the Red Sox, Webb hit 67 doubles, breaking the old record by three. In the next few years, several players – Medwick, Greenberg, Waner, Gehringer – took runs at it but came up short. No one else has managed 60 doubles since the mid-30s. Webb himself never hit more than 30 doubles in any other season; those 67 doubles represent 43 percent of his career total, though it must be noted that he was a good minor-league hitter who did tend to bang a lot of doubles. He didn’t establish himself in the majors until he was 29, was only a regular for a couple of years, and was bounced from the majors two years after he set the record. He returned to the minors and hit well for several more years, finishing a 1,200-game minor-league career with a .333 average. Eddie Waitkus (1941-55) is another player known primarily for one thing – he was shot and almost killed by a deranged fan, in an incident that became the inspiration for the backstory of Roy Hobbs and “The Natural.” Waitkus was a first baseman but will shift to his secondary position of left field for this roster. A .300 hitter with no power who basically never struck out, he came up with the Cubs and drew the obsessive attention of a female fan who apparently could not handle the perceived rejection she felt when he was traded to the Phillies in 1949, so she tracked him down at a hotel, posed as an old friend to lure him to her room, and then shot him in the chest. He missed the rest of the season but returned and resumed his career, winning a pennant with the 1950 Whiz Kid Phillies. Center fielder Ernie Walker (1913-15) was the uncle of Dixie and Harry “The Hat” Walker, who both had fine careers. Uncle Ernie’s major-league career was brief. He had a pretty good year for the Browns at age 23, but when he slumped off in 1915 he dropped out of the majors for good, though he did hit .300 in the minors for several more seasons.

Catcher: This position will be a wicked platoon of lefty Ernie Whitt (1976-91) and righty Earl Williams (1970-77), a pair that could easily combine to hit 30 home runs per season.Whitt spent his prime years in Toronto in a highly effective platoon with Buck Martinez. Whitt never batted 500 times in a season, but he had eight straight years with double-digit home run totals. Williams came up with Atlanta at age 21 and won the Rookie of the Year award after hitting 33 home runs in 1971. He was a .250 hitter who struck out a lot, but he had tremendous power and drew a decent number of walks. He was a poor catcher and even worse when he tried his hand at corner infield, and there was a general perception in baseball that he didn’t work as hard as he could have at improving his game. His career went into decline right at the point when he should have been hitting his stride. He was done at age 28 but still managed to pop 138 home runs.

Rotation: Admit it: If someone challenged you to put together a pitching rotation with the initials “E.W.,” you wouldn’t expect to have two Hall of Famers – one of them the all-time ERA leader, and the other a 300-game winner – backed up by a 200-game winner and a couple of 120-game winners. And yet, that’s what we have here, a quintet that totals 960 career wins. Big Ed Walsh (1904-17) won 195 games for the White Sox and had a career ERA of 1.82, the lowest in history. Of course, he posted that ERA in the heart of the deadball era, but on the other hand, a lot of other great pitchers played at the same time and couldn’t touch that ERA. He went 40-15 in 1908, the last pitcher ever to win 40 games in a season. At his peak he was one of the best and most durable pitchers in the American League, leading the league at one time or another in pretty much every statistical category, and he beat the Cubs twice in 1906 to help the White Sox win the World Series. Early Wynn (1939-63) won 300 games in a career that touched four decades. He started out with the Senators and, after World War II he eventually moved to the Indians and was part of Cleveland’s legendary staffs of the 1950s. He later moved to the White Sox, winning 22 games and a Cy Young Award at age 39. He won 20 games five times, pitched in six all-star games and received MVP votes in eight different seasons. Lefty Earl Whitehill (1923-39) won 218 games, mostly for the Tigers though his biggest season (22-8 in 1933) came for the Senators. Like Wynn, he was a tough guy with a nasty temper and one hell of a competitor. In 1933, he shut out the New York Giants in Game 3 to become the last pitcher ever to win a World Series game for the Washington Senators. Earl Wilson (1959-70) won 121 games in his career, mostly winning 11-13 games a year but spiking it to win 18 in 1966 and 22 in 1967. He was a big, strong guy who had 35 home runs and 111 RBI in 740 at-bats (though his average was below .200 and he struck out 271 times). Eddie Lee Whitson (1977-91) won 126 games in a journeyman career that finally settled in San Diego. He is best remembered, however, for an incident that occurred when he was with the Yankees in 1985 – a brawl with manager Billy Martin that began (no surprise) in the hotel bar, rolled out into the lobby and finally finished in a third-floor hallway. At one point, two teammates attempted to break up the fight, restraining Whitson and pinning his arms. Martin took the opportunity to get in a couple of quick shots against the defenseless pitcher, so Whitson did the only thing he could do to defend himself: He kicked Martin in the crotch, sending the manager rolling on the floor and vowing to kill him. By the time the brawl was finished, Martin had a broken arm and two cracked ribs. Martin was fired in the aftermath of the incident.

Bullpen: Closer Eddie Watt (1966-75) had a fine career for the great Baltimore Orioles teams that won four pennants and two World Series titles. He saved 80 games in his career and finished with a 2.91 ERA. He was never overpowering, but consistently good for several years. Ed Wright (1945-52) came up as a starter with the Boston Braves and did alright, but he eventually shifted to the bullpen and did not pitch as well. Ed “Satchelfoot” Wells (1923-34) was a teammate of Cobb in Detroit and a teammate of Ruth and Gehrig in New York. His career was split about evenly between the rotation and the bullpen, but he’s not about to crack this team’s rotation, so he’ll be a stalwart in the pen. Ernie White (1940-48) was another lefty swingman. He came up with the Cardinals and had a couple of outstanding seasons, going 17-7 at age 24 in 1941 and shutting out the powerhouse Yankees in Game 3 of the 1942 World Series. He missed 1944-45 while serving in World War II, and when he came back he struggled to stay in the league for a few years with the Boston Braves. Ernie Wingard (1924-26) was a tall, skinny left who hung around some bad St. Louis Browns teams for a few years, walking three times as many batters as he struck out. Ed Walsh Jr. (1928-32) had his father’s genes but not his wondrous arm. Multiply Ed Walsh Sr.’s ERA by three and you’ve more or less got Ed Jr.’s ERA. Ehren Wasserman (2007-08) was a fine minor-league pitcher but unable to establish himself in the majors.

Bench: The bench starts with whichever platoon catcher isn’t starting, and to be honest, Earl Williams might see some work at other positions to try and get his bat into the lineup a bit more often. Corner infielder Eddie Williams (1986-98) was a power-hitting prospect who never became a full-time starter in the majors, though he did have a couple of pretty good years in limited roles with the Padres. He hit 199 home runs in the minors and lit up the Pacific Coast League for several years whenever he was sent down. Outfielder Eddie Wilson (1936-37) hit relatively well in his two shots with the Brooklyn Dodgers but couldn’t gain a foothold. He is believed to be no relation to the fellow of the same name who later became the leader of the 1960s band Eddie and the Crusiers. Utility infielder Ed Wheeler (1902) had 2,000 hits in the minors and an even dozen in the bigs. Ed Whiting (1882-86) was a catcher who also played some outfield. His presence on the roster will provide some flexibility allowing Earl Williams to pinch-hit. Whiting also played under the name Harry Zieber, and we’re sure there’s a story behind that.

Manager: Earl Weaver, the brilliant and tempermental manager of the Baltimore Orioles, might actually enjoy this team. It has power hitters, a strong platoon combination and a sturdy pitching rotation, all hallmarks of Weaver’s best teams, and it even features that third catcher he always liked to have around. Two key players here, Earl Williams and Eddie Watt, actually played for Weaver. He won three pennants and a World Series title, had a .583 winning percentage, and was well ahead of the curve when it came to tracking statistics and basing game strategies on what he learned. He loved to pick up some spare part that had been discarded by other teams and find a way to make use of that player’s strengths while avoiding his weaknesses. A baseball visionary. Wicked temper, though.

FB: The Foster Brookses

Infield: Frank “Home Run” Baker (1908-22) goes on the short list of the greatest third basemen of all time. He hit 96 home runs, not a lot by today’s standards but quite a few for his time; in fact, he led the American League in homers for four straight seasons, also leading in RBI twice and triples once. He actually earned the nickname for hitting critical home runs in the 1911 World Series off of future Hall of Famers Christy Mathewson and Rube Marquard. He was at the peak of his game in 1914, one of the stars of Connie Mack’s early Philadelphia A’s juggernaut, when he sat out the 1915 season in a contract dispute. Mack eventually sold Baker’s contract to the Yankees, and when he returned in 1916 Baker was still a good player but nowhere near as dominant as he had been in Philadelphia. Second baseman Frank Bolling (1954-66) was a slick fielder with a little bit of pop (106 career home runs). He split his career between the Tigers and the Braves, and upon retiring he headed home to Mobile, Ala., where he started the first-ever “challenger baseball league” for children with mental and physical handicaps. First baseman Fred Beck (1909-15) led the National League in home runs in 1910. That was pretty much the highlight of his career. He was a decent enough player who jumped to the upstart Federal League and never made it back. Shortstop Freddie Benavides (1991-94) had no power, no speed and didn’t hit much. He had a brief career and now works in coaching and player development. 

Outfield: Left fielder Frenchy Bordagaray (1934-45) was a good player with a little bit of speed who was mostly known for being a “colorful character.” He was once fined by manager Casey Stengel for failing to slide into third base on a close play, so the next day when he hit a home run he theatrically slid into all four bases. That earned him another fine. (Asked why he hadn’t slid the day before, Bordagaray said he didn’t want to crush the cigar he had been keeping in his back pocket.) Late in his career, he spit tobacco juice on an umpire and when he was suspended 60 days he remarked that the punishment was “more than I expectorated.” Center fielder Fred Brickell (1926-33) was a backup outfielder for most of his career, which was split between the Pirates and the Phillies. His career average was .281, which would sound a lot better if it wasn’t compiled during a time of tremendous offensive output. (His son Fritz played for a few years as a utility infielder but did not make this roster. In his baseballreference photograph, he looks like a 12-year-old boy chewing a wad of tobacco the size of a golf ball.) Right fielder Frankie Baumholtz (1947-57) was a star athlete at Ohio University and was the first guy ever to play major-league baseball and professional basketball (in a league that predated the NBA). He was a decent player who finished with 1,000 hits and a .290 batting average. In 1952, playing for the Cubs, Baumholtz batted .325 and finished second in the NL batting race to Stan Musial (.336). In a stunt that must have made sense to someone at the time, Cardinals manager Eddie Stanky secretly planned on the last day of the season to bring Musial in to pitch against Baumholtz. When he saw this, Baumholtz – a lefty, like Musial – decided that he would bat right-handed. He slapped at the first pitch and reached base on an infield error.

Catcher: Frank Bowerman (1895-1909) was a .250 hitter who played a long time. He always claimed that he was the one who recommended to the Giants that they acquire a struggling pitcher named Christy Mathewson. Whether or not that’s true, Bowerman did catch a Mathewson no-hitter.

Rotation: Floyd Bannister (1977-92) was a lefty with a live arm. The Astros took him with the first overall pick in the 1976 draft. Because he was the first overall pick, there were always people who thought of Bannister as a disappointment, but he actually had a pretty good career. He won 134 games (OK, so he lost 143, but he wasn’t on great teams). His 4.08 ERA was a little better than league average. He once led the American League in strikeouts. Fred Beebe (1906-16) also led the league in strikeouts – National League, 1906, split between Cubs and Cardinals. His career record was 62-83, and his career ERA of 2.86 was far less impressive in his time than Bannister’s 4.08 was in the 1980s. Francisco Barrios (1974-81) had a rather star-crossed career. He was a talented Mexican righty, combined with Blue Moon Odom on a no-hitter, won 14 games for the White Sox in 1977. But he had drug and alcohol problems that completely derailed his career, and he died of a heart attack – probably cocaine-induced – at age 28. Fred Blanding (1910-14) went 46-46 for Cleveland. He had 278 strikeouts and 277 walks, which is almost as identical as his won-lost record. Frank Baumann (1955-65) led the American League in ERA; one year later, he led the league in earned runs allowed. That was the nature of an up-and-down career that ended up with a 45-38 record and a 4.11 ERA. Spent most of his career with the Sox, both Red and White.

Bullpen: Freddy Beene (1968-75) was a diminutive righty whose best season came in 1973, when he pitched for the Yankees as a long reliever and spot starter, going 6-0 with a 1.68 ERA in 91 innings. He had eight career saves. Fred Breining (1980-84) had two good years as a reliever and a decent season as a starter for the Giants. He was traded to the Expos as part of a package for Al Oliver, but early in the 1985 season he ripped up his shoulder throwing to first on a bunt, and he never pitched again. Lefty Frank Bertaina (1964-70) bounced around the majors for several years. In 1968, he led the AL in wild pitches with 17 despite pitching fewer than 130 innings. That total accounted for half of the wild pitches he threw in his entire career. Frank Barrett (1939-50) really pitched for three years, from 1944-46. That career was sandwiched by one appearance in 1939 and five in 1950, making it look at a glance like he pitched for a decade. On the whole, he was a decent pitcher. His real career was in the minors, where he won 141 games. Frank Biscan (1942-48) was a lefty who was nicknamed “Porky.” He was listed at 5-11 and 190 pounds, so either he lied about his weight, his poundage was distributed disproportionately, or he just had cruel teammates. He made 74 appearances with the St. Louis Browns, struggling with his control and finishing with a 5.28 ERA. Francis Beltran (2002-08) was an enormous lefty (6-6, 255) who pitched for the Cubs, Expos and Tigers. He had a live arm but tended to feed the gopher a little too much. Fred Baczewski (1953-55) was a lefty who had a stretch when he pitched pretty well for the Reds in 1953, but he spent most of his career getting knocked around.

Bench: Infielder Floyd Baker (1943-55) had no power and no speed, but in a good year he could hit .260 and draw some walks. Frank Brower (1920-24) was a first baseman and corner outfielder who was a fine minor-league slugger, and a pretty fair hitter for the Senators and Indians for a few years. His nickname was “Tucky,” but his Southern accent made teammates hear that as “Turkey,” and for unknown reasons they expanded that to “Turkeyfoot.” Frank Bonner (1894-1903) was a middle infielder who had an unspectacular career and who died in his mid 30s as a result of a bad tonsillectomy. Not known to be any relation to the guy who played Herb Tarlek on “WKRP.” German-born Fritz Buelow (1899-1907) was reputed to be a fine defensive catcher. Freddie Bynum (2005-08) was a utility player who could run a little bit.

Manager: Frank Bancroft managed the Providence Grays to an 84-28 record in 1884 by ridin’ the Hoss – Old  Hoss Radbourn, that is, who went 59-12 with a 1.38 ERA. Bancroft managed seven different teams for all or parts of nine seasons. His career record was 375-333.

FC: The Fausto Carmonas

Infield: First baseman Frank Chance (1898-1914) is one of the more interesting players from the first decade of the 20th century. He was the first baseman in the legendary “Tinker to Evers to Chance” Chicago Cubs infield. He was recognized as “The Peerless Leader” of what was, quite simply, the most successful team of all time – the Cubs team that won 530 games (and lost just 235) between 1906-10. Four pennants and two World Series titles in that stretch. As a player? Well, he was very good. He batted .296, had a great batting eye, played a terrific first base, and led the National League in steals twice. He only had a half-dozen seasons in which he played 100 games, but he cruised into the Hall of Fame on the basis of his role on those great Cubs teams and the fame that came from Franklin Adams’ famous bit of baseball poesy. Shortstop Frankie Crosetti (1932-48) knew a little something about winning baseball games, too. He spent his entire career with the Yankees, playing on nine pennant winners and eight World Series champions. When he was done, after handing the position over to Phil Rizzuto, he stayed with the Yankees for several decades as third-base coach and was part of nine more World Series titles. Crosetti was a slick fielder and a light hitter, though he drew enough walks to score a fair number of runs at the top of the powerful Yankees lineup. Second baseman Frank Catalanotto (1997-2010) was a versatile guy who could play infield or outfield. He batted .291 for his career with a decent batting eye and a little pop. Never a star, but always useful. Third baseman Fred Corey (1878-85) was old enough to remember the Civil War, but not old enough to have fought in it. He was an unspectacular player, and his career apparently ended when he lost an eye in a hunting accident.


Outfield: Left fielder Fred Clarke (1894-1915) was a great leadoff batter for the Pittsburgh Pirates during the Honus Wagner Era. He batted .312, stole 500 bases, scored 1,600 runs and finally won a World Series title at age 36. He was an aggressive baserunner, a smart strategic players, and he had a highly successful career as player-manager with the Pirates. Clarke was inducted into the Hall of Fame in 1945. Right fielder Fred Carroll (1884-91) also played in Pittsburgh, for the 19th-century Alleghenys, and he led the NL in on-base percentage in 1889. Center fielder Felix Chouinard (1910-15) was a 5-foot-7 sprite who was a bit player in the American League and in the upstart Federal League.

Catcher: Francisco Cabrera (1989-93) wasn'g a very good receiver, had a bit of a weight problem, and he had a bad strikeout-to-walk ratio. On the other hand, he hit for a decent average and had 17 home runs in 351 career at-bats. Best known for delivering the walk-off hit that scored Sid Bream in 1992, sending the Braves to the World Series. His career NLCS stats consist of five pinch-hitting appearances in which he had three hits and three RBI.

Rotation: Frank Castillo (1991-2005) came up with the Cubs and ended as a journeyman, posting a career record of 84-104. He had good control but gave up a lot of hits, and he led the NL in losses in 1996, when he went 7-16 for the Cubs. Frank “Fiddler” Corridon (1904-10) went 70-67, mostly for the Phillies. He is one of the pitchers credited with inventing the spitball. Apparently in the minors he and a teammate came up with the idea and began experimenting to determine just how much saliva to apply in order to get the optimum break on the ball – which must have been some really lovely experiments. Francisco Cordova (1996-2000) went 42-47 for Pittsburgh, which was not a bad record considering how miserable the Pirates were during that period. The highlight of his career was a combined no-hitter – he pitched nine innings in a scoreless tie, and reliever Ricardo Rincon worked a hitless 10th and got the victory. Lefty Fritz Coumbe (1914-21) went 38-38, mostly for the Indians, splitting time between the rotation and the bullpen. Lefty Fritz Clausen (1892-96) went 16-22, which is not a good record but it still makes him the second best Lefty Fritz C in baseball history.

Bullpen: Closer Francisco Cordero (1999- ) has 329 career saves, which is the 12th-highest total of all time. He only needs another dozen saves to crack the top 10, but then … he’s in his late 30s, he wasn’t in the closer role last year, and he got royally hammered in 2012. We’ll see what happens. He had 40-save seasons for three different teams (Texas, Milwaukee and Cincinnati). Fernando Cabrera (2004-10) had a live arm – 193 strikeouts in 175 career innings – but he tended to give up the long ball and that kept his ERA way too high. Floyd Chiffer (1982-84) had a solid rookie year for the Padres, with a 2.95 ERA in 51 games, but he got hurt and was done pretty soon after. Lefty Frank Carpin (1965-66) pitched well for the Pirates in 1965 but not so well for Houston the next year. Fabio Castro (2006-07) was a lefty whose big-league career consisted of 30 games in which he gave up very few hits but a whole lot of walks. He pitched well for a while, but then the bottom fell out. Still in his late 20s and knocking around in the minors. Fred Caligiuri (1941-42) pitched a few games for the Philadelphia A’s in his early 20s. On the final day of the 1941 season, Caligiuri started the second game of a doubleheader. His opponent was Lefty Grove, making his final major-league start. In that game, Ted Williams got two hits off of Caligiuri to emphatically nail down his legendary .406 batting average. Francisco Cruceta (2004-08) appeared in 19 games for three teams. He may not have gotten clobbered in all 19, but it sort of looks that way.

Bench: Catcher and utility man Fred Carisch (1903-23) came up age age 21 and played his last game at age 41, but don’t be confused into thinking he had a 20-year career. At age 41, he appeared in two games while coaching for the Detroit Tigers (without coming to the plate). He played in 226 games and batted .227, which means if the Tigers had been visionary enough to play him in the field one more time in 1923, his games played total would have matched his batting average. Infielder Foster Castleman (1954-58) wasn’t much of a player, but he has a great name (which gets even better when you add his middle name, Ephraim). Infielder Frank Croucher (1939-42) was an even worse player, but his nickname was Dingle. Utility man Frank Connaughton (1894-1906) appeared in 146 major-league games spread out over three seasons. He played forever in the minors, or at least until his mid-40s. Felipe Crespo (1996-2001) was a nondescript utility man. On June 7, 2001, Felipe and his brother Cesar both homered while playing against each other in the same game.

Manager: It will be a player-manager with a fine pedigree and a Hall of Fame resume, that’s for sure. Perhaps it will be Frank Chance (946-648, winning percentage of .593, four pennants and two World Series titles). Or maybe it will be Fred Clarke (1602-1181, .576 winning percentage, four pennants and one World Series title). Or maybe they will share the job in some sort of way. We’ll let team president Frank Cashen make the final decision.

FH: The Florence Hendersons

Infield: Second baseman Fred Hatfield (1950-58) bounced around the American League for a decade, playing his best seasons with Detroit. He batted .242 for his career, a decent contact hitter with no power or speed. He spent a long time coaching in the minors, majors and in the college ranks. First baseman Fred “Dutch” Hartman (1894-1902) was a fairly average player for several teams. He batted .300 a couple of times, but that was at a time when everyone batted .300. Third baseman Frank Hankinson (1878-88) was your basic .230 hitter with a good glove. Well, he played before they started wearing gloves, so he had a good … uh … palm. In 1879, he pitched for the Cubs when he wasn’t playing third base, and he won 15 games, so he could get some work on the hill on this team as well. Fred Haney (1922-29) was a very ordinary middle infielder who will play shortstop on this team, completing the “Three Freds and a Frank” infield.

Outfield: Big, strapping Frank “Hondo” Howard (1958-73) was one of the most feared sluggers of the 1960s. He was a 6-foot-7 muscle man who hit the ball a mile. He came up with the Dodgers but was traded in mid-career to the Senators, where he became something of a folk hero – a gentle giant, beloved by the fans, and the best player on that long-suffering team. He led the AL in home runs in 1968 and 1970, hitting 44 each year. He actually hit more home runs (48) in 1969, but finished one behind Harmon Killebrew that year. He wasn’t a great fielder, but he had a powerful arm and was actually used as a pitcher for a short while during winter ball before the Dodgers found out and put a stop to it. Center fielder Fritz Henrich (1924) played 37 minor-league games in Williamsport and 36 major-league games in Philadelphia, all in 1924 when he was 25 years old. He batted .211 for the Phillies and then disappeared from the record. Left fielder Frank Huelsman (1897-1905) was 6-foot-2 and 210 pounds, which at the turn of the century made him almost as big as Frank Howard, relatively speaking. He was a monstrous minor-league slugger, batting .344 with power over the course of a long career, and he fared well enough in a brief major-league career that included a bizarre 1904 season when he played with the White Sox, the Tigers, back to the White Sox, then to the Browns and the Senators.

Catcher: Frankie Hayes (1933-47) was 6-foot tall, weighed 185 pounds, and was nicknamed “Blimp.” Something doesn’t seem right about that. He was a decent hitter over the course of a long career – a .260-.270 hitter with mid-range power and a good batting eye.

Rotation: Felix Hernandez (2005- ) is called “King Felix,” and he pitches like royalty. He’s still in his mid-20s, and he’s one of the best pitchers in the game. He won the AL Cy Young Award in 2010, putting up a 13-12 record for the Mariners despite leading the league in ERA. He strikes out almost a batter per inning, has great control, and is extraordinarily durable. At this point, there is no downside to the kid, but you never know what to believe about the future performance of young pitchers. For now, he’s a staff ace. Fred Hutchinson (1939-53) had a couple of big years in the minors but struggled in a couple of trials in the majors as a teen. He then missed four years to World War II, and when he came back he was a fine control pitcher for the Tigers. He finished his career with a 95-71 record. After Hutch, we’ve got Dutch – Frank “Dutch” Hiller (1946-53), another decent post-war pitcher. He wasn’t as good or as durable as Hutchinson, but he was OK. He went 12-5 for the 1950 Cubs but was 18-27 for the rest of his career. Fred Heimach (1920-33) was a lefty who won 62 games while bouncing around several different teams. He was also a fine hihtter, and actually went 20-for-52 in his career as a pinch-hitter. Frank Hoffman (1888), a.k.a.. The Texas Terror, pitched very well for the 1888 Kansas City Cowboys in the American Association, but the team was awful and his record was 3-9. That was the sum total of his major-league career.

Bullpen: Felix Heredia (1996-2005) will start out as the closer, because someone has to. He won 28 games while pitching for several different teams, and he was generally around the league average in ERA. A solid lefty, he was a set-up man on the Marlins team that won the 1997 World Series. He appeared in four World Series games that year and did now allow a run. Fred Holdsworth (1972-80) wasn’t anything special, but he does have a good surname for a set-up reliever. In 1976 he made 16 appearances for Baltimore and went 4-1 with a 2.04 ERA in about three dozen innings, so he could be OK in small sample sizes. Frank Herrmann (2010- ) is a Harvard graduate nicknamed “Ballpark Frank.” He is in mid-career with the Indians. Fred Howard (1979) was in the majors at age 22 but out of baseball altogether by age 26. He went on to a more successful career as a surgeon. Frank Harter (1912-14) won one game apiece in each of three seasons in an indistinguished career. Fred House (1913) pitched a few games for Detroit at age 22. There are two Fernando Hernandezes, and one of them will be the last man in the bullpen. Neither one had a middle name. The one who pitched in 1997 pitched in two games and had a career ERA of 40.50. So we’ll go with Fernando Hernandez (2008), who pitched in three games, with a 1-0 record and an 18.00 ERA. He is still in his 20s and still bouncing around the minors, but he doesn’t look like he’s going to make it back up anytime soon.

Bench: Backup catcher Fran Healy (1969-78) was a good backup catcher who could do an adequate job if he was pressed into a starting role for a short period. A big guy, but not a slugger. He’s had a long career as a broadcaster after retiring as a player. Frank House (1950-61), another backup catcher, is nicknamed “Pig,” so he’s an appropriate back-up to Frankie “Blimp” Hayes. (We’ll have to give Fran Healy a nickname like “Porky” or “Lard.”) Fred Hancock (1949) was a utility infielder who couldn’t hit. He didn’t hit in a brief major-league career, and he didn’t hit much in 1,679 games in the minors. Outfielder Frank “Don’t Call Me Shirley” Hemphill (1906-09) had 43 major-league at-bats and just three hits. Frank “Heck” Heifer (1875) was a first baseman and outfielder who batted .280 but never drew a walk. He had no doubles and no homers, but three triples. And he pitched occasionally. Somehow he’s got to be useful.

Manager: Fred Hutchinson, who won 830 games and led the Reds to the 1961 NL pennant, will be player-manager. He’ll be assisted by Fred Haney, who won 629 games and a World Series title, but who in 1959 had what historian Bill James called the worst year ever for a manager, taking a supremely talented Milwaukee Braves team to 86 wins while he fiddle-faddled around with his rotation, his starting lineup and his bench.

FM: No Static at All

Infield: First baseman Fred McGriff (1986-2004) has never been fully appreciated for how good he was. He played in an era when slugging first basemen were plentiful, and he was in his 30s before the offensive boom of the 1990s really hit full stride. He played for a half-dozen teams, and his nickname (“The Crime Dog”) was a play on a cartoon dog, not a commentary on his prodigious power. But if McGriff was just one of many power hitters in his era, he was one of the best – he hit for average, drew walks and was a consistently productive hitter for almost two decades. McGriff finished with 493 home runs, 1,500 RBI and 1,349 runs. He spent several years with the powerhouse Braves of the 1990s, and in 50 postseason games he batted .303 with 10 home runs. Should McGriff be in the Hall of Fame? That’s for you to decide, but it’s safe to say that he was probably a better player than half of the first basemen who are already in Cooperstown. Third baseman Frank Malzone (1955-66) was cut in the classic Brooks Robinson mold – a slow right-hander with a little bit of power and a great glove (when they first started giving out Gold Gloves, he won the first three at third base). He hit for a decent average, didn’t strike out or walk much, and was good for 15-20 home runs per year for the Red Sox. A popular and respected guy in Boston, he has stayed with the Red Sox in a scouting and player development role for several decades. Second baseman Felix Millan (1966-77) was a slap hitter who choked up on the bat almost to the barrel. He basically never struck out, and he somehow hit 22 home runs in his career, which is hard to imagine, but it’s right there in his statistical record. Millan played for the Braves and the Mets, and his major-league career ended after a shoulder injury sustained during an on-field brawl in 1977. Ed Ott, the Pirates’ burly catcher, slid hard into Millan to break up a double play. Millan took offense and took a swing at him, prompting Ott to lift Millan into the air and slam him down on his shoulder. Millan never played in the majors again, though he did play a few years in Japan. Felix Mantilla (1956-66) played just before Millan and had almost the same name. Mantilla was a Puerto Rican second baseman, too. Mantilla was known as El Gato (“The Cat”), and Millan was called El Gatito (“The Little Cat”). Mantilla will move to shortstop on this team because we’d really get confused if Felix Millan and Felix Mantilla were sharing the second base job. Mantilla was a better hitter than Millan, with a little bit of power (89 career home runs, a third of them coming in 1964 for the Red Sox). Mantilla is perhaps best known as the guy who broke up Harvey Haddix’s legendary would-be perfect game, reaching base by error in the 13th inning and eventually scoring the winning run on Joe Adcock’s non-homer.

Outfield: Center fielder Fritz Maisel (1913-18) stole 74 bases for the Yankees in 1914, leading the American League. He was primarily an infielder, but he was occasionally moved to center to take advantage of his speed, and the FM team needs him more in the outfield than the infield. He was only a major-league regular for three years, but he had a long minor-league career in which he had more than 2,000 hits. No minor-league stolen base totals are listed in his bio, but he stole almost 200 bases in the majors in just 592 games, so we’re guessing he stole quite a few in the minors as well. Felix Mackiewicz (1941-47) was also a center fielder, but spent most of his career as a backup. He’ll play right field on this team. He was a nondescript player who really had just two years in the majors – 198 games for the Indians in 1945-46, and 25 games spread around parts of five other seasons. Fred Merkle (1907-26) was a first baseman who will move to left field on this team (he played 46 games in the outfield). Merkle was a good hitter (1,580 hits, 720 runs, 733 RBI for his career), stole 272 bases in his career and played in five World Series. But the poor jerk is known for just one moment, which led to his famous nickname “Bonehead.” As a rookie in 1908, he made a baserunning error in the heat of the pennant race that cost the New York Giants the National League title. The short version: He was on first base with two out in the bottom of the ninth in a tie game, and the batter hit a clean shot into the outfield. Merkle saw the runner from third scamper home with the winning run (or so he thought), and he veered toward the dugout without bothering to touch second base, which was apparently common practice at the time. As Giants fans streamed onto the field to celebrate, Cubs second baseman Johnny Evers tracked down the ball (well, it was a ball, but no one is quite sure if it was actually the official ball amid the chaos on the field) and tagged second base. Umpire Hank O’Day called Merkle out, since he had never touched second base, thus nullifying the run because the third out was a force play. The league upheld the call and ruled that the game was a tied that had to be replayed in its entirety. The Giants lost the replay, and the Cubs ended up beating the Giants by one game for the NL pennant.

Catcher: Fergus Malone (1871-84) was a 5-foot-8 Irishman and former cricket player. He was a lefty, but there were no “unwritten rules” against lefties playing catcher in those days. His career was actually just six years, but he came back at age 39 to play one game while managing the Philadelphia Keystones in 1884.

Rotation: Frank “Bullet” Miller (1913-23) had a career record of 52-66 with the White Sox, Pirates and Braves, in addition to his 120 victories in the minors. He was a solid pitcher, twice finished among the top 10 in the National League in ERA. Lefty Fred Mitchell (1901-10) went 31-50 for four teams between 1901-05, and then later returned to the majors as a catcher in 1910. Frank Meinke (1884-85) did double duty as a pitcher and a shortstop, winning eight games and losing 23 for Detroit in 1884 at age 20. He played a few games the following season and then called it quits. Frank “Climb Every” Mountain (1880-86) won 58 games while knocking around the National League and the American Association. Pitching for Columbus in 1883, he led the American Association in losses (33), hits allowed (546), earned runs (201) and walks (123). That doesn’t sound real promising, but he was actually a respectable pitcher. Frank MacCormack (1976-77) went 0-5 for Detroit at age 21 and then landed on the expansion Mariners. At age 22, he made three starts and had a 3.86 ERA – but pitched just seven innings. The reason? Well, the fact that he had four strikeouts and walked 12 batters in those seven innings might provide a hint. He also hit three batters, so even though he gave up just four hits, he put 19 runners on base in seven innings. (To the credit of his bullpen, only three of those runners scored.) He went back to the minors and pitched for a few more years. Improved his control a bit, to the point where it was only bad instead of ghastly, but he was out of baseball before he turned 25.

Bullpen: Closer Firpo Marberry (1923-36) was used as a closer before the role had actually been defined. Pitching for the Senators, he led the American League six times in games pitched, five times in games finished and (retroactively) four times in saves. He had 101 saves in his career – he and Johnny Murphy were the two pitchers who saved 100 games in the era when the closer role was just starting to take shape. He was an outstanding pitcher who also won 148 games. He was nicknamed “Firpo” because someone had decided that he looked like the Argentine boxer Luis Firpo (“The Wild Bull of the Pampas”), who once knocked Jack Dempsey out of the ring, only to have Dempsey climb back through the ropes and knock him out. Marberry reportedly hated the nickname, but his given name was Fred, so he qualifies for the FM roster either way. Lefty Franklin Morales (2007- ) is a solid reliever who is just getting started. Fred Martin (1946-50) spent a long time in the minors, served in World War II, made his major-league debut at 31 and then got banned for two years for jumping to the Mexican League. He came back and pitched two more years in the majors and several more years in the minors. He won 12 games in the majors, 169 in the minors, but his lasting legacy is that he worked as a minor-league instructor with the Cubs and is credited with teaching Bruce Sutter to throw the split-fingered fastball, indirectly revolutionizing the game. Forrest More (1909) went 1-5 for the Cardinals, was claimed at midseason by the Boston Doves, and then went 1-5 for his new team. Career record: 2-10. Frank Makosky (1937) went 5-2 in his only season in the majors, but then again, he was pitching for the Yankees, and it was pretty hard to have a losing record for the 1937 Yankees. Frank Mack (1922-25) was nicknamed “Stubby” despite being 6-1, 180 pounds. He won two games for the White Sox in 1922. Lefty Fred "Speedy" Miller (1910) struck out two batters and walked 13 in his 21 major-league innings.

Bench: First baseman Frank McCormick (1934-48) was an very good hitter for the Reds, but he’s not going to supplant the Crime Dog from first base and he only played one game in the outfield, so it’s kind of hard to give him a starting job in the pasture. Until we add a DH, he’s stuck in a pinch-hitting role, where he will excel. McCormick led the NL in hits three straight years (1938-40), pounding out 40-plus doubles each year and driving in 361 runs. He was a .300 hitter who walked twice as often as he struck out and had gap power. Infielders Fred Marsh (1949-56) and Fred Manrique (1981-91) were light-hitting journeymen. (They get the backup infield jobs ahead of Fred McMullin because they never played a role in fixing a World Series.) Freddie Maguire (1922-31), another infielder, hit even less than Manrique and Marsh but he held onto a regular job for a few seasons. Catcher Frank Mancuso (1944-47) was not nearly as good as his brother Gus, but he was a decent contact hitter and he’ll serve well in a backup role.

Manager: Fred Mitchell will serve as player-manager. He managed over 1,000 games in the majors, had a losing record and had two 100-loss seasons with the Boston Braves. But – and this is a big enough “but” to satisfy Sir Mix-a-Lot – he took the Cubs to the World Series in 1918. He also coached at Harvard for several years. Mitchell will be assisted by Freddie Maguire, who managed three full seasons in the minors and finished in first place each season, though he never won an actual league championship.

FR: The Fred Rogerses

Infield: Third baseman Floyd Rayford (1980-87) was nicknamed “Sugar Bear,” and if you saw him you understood why. He was listed at 5-10 and 190, but that doesn’t do justice to the roly-poly quality that he projected. He wasn’t fat, but he was … well … he looked like a Sugar Bear. He was your basic .250 hitter – didn’t walk enough, had a bit of pop, no speed, could catch if you needed him to. Fred Raymer (1901-05) was a weak-hitting second baseman (.218 career batting average with no power) who will be stretched to play shortstop on this team. Fred Roat (1890-92) is a light-hitting third baseman (.220 career batting average with no power) who will be stretched to play second on this team. First baseman Fred Richards (1951) arrived with the Cubs at age 23, batted .296 in 10 games, and then went back to the minors and played for several years as a decent but hardly spectacular hitter. So that’s the F.R. infield: a portly third baseman, a first baseman whose career was limited to a cup o’coffee, and a double play combination playing out of position and providing no offense.

Outfield: Hall of Famer Frank Robinson (1956-76) is one of the great outfielders of all time. His resume includes Rookie of the Year, two MVPs, a triple crown, five pennants and two World Series titles. A right fielder who was very comparable to Henry Aaron, he will be stretched to play center field on this team. His career stats include a .294 average, 586 home runs (which put him in the top five all time until the power surge of the 1990s), 1,812 RBI and 1,829 runs. He starred for the Cincinnati Reds for a decade, and then for the Orioles for several more years. Right fielder Floyd Robinson (1960-68) was a very solid player for the White Sox for several years, a .280-.290 hitter with a good batting eye and enough gap power to hit a league-leading 45 doubles in 1962. Left fielder Frog Redus was a longtime Negro League star, a 5-foot-5 spark plug who hit with a fair amount of power. He played for several years alongside Cool Papa Bell before commencing to wander about the league. Look for him to bat leadoff on this team, ahead of Floyd and Frank Robinson. The lineup goes downhill fast after that, with Sugar Bear Rayford batting cleanup.

Catcher: Negro Leaguer Frazier Robinson was a slap hitter and a slow runner, but he fashioned a long career – in and out of the starting lineup – because of hustle and a strong arm behind the plate.

Rotation: Flint Rehm (1924-36) won 105 games, mostly for the Cardinals. He led the NL with 20 victories in 1926, but he was mostly a back-of-the-rotation guy who generally moved to the bullpen when the postseason rolled around (he appeared in four World Series with the Cardinals but worked just 10 innings). Frankie Rodriguez (1995-2001) was a converted shortstop who became won 13 games for the Twins in 1996 but wasn’t able to hold onto a spot in the rotation for very long. Frank Reberger (1968-72) was a 6-foot-5 swingman, picked by the Padres off the Chicago Cubs’ roster in the 1969 expansion draft. He went on to win 14 games – not in one season, but in his career. Frank Ragland (1932) got hammered in a few games for the Senators in 1932 and then got hammered in a few games for the Phillies in 1933. Career stats: 1-4, 7.11 ERA. Farmer Ray (1910) went 4-10 for the St. Louis Browns in 1910. Not much to say about him, other than that he hit seven batters in 140 innings but never threw a wild pitch, leading one to wonder if Farmer was a headhunter.

Bullpen: The rotation is weak, but the bullpen is much stronger. The closer is Francisco “K-Rod” Rodriguez (2002- ), he of the 11 strikeouts per nine innings. He led the AL in saves three times, including a major-league record 62 in 2008, but since signing a lucrative free agent contract with the Mets he has struggled with inconsistency, injuries and off-field issues. Still, he is close to 300 saves and he is still in mid-career. Righty set-up man Felix Rodriguez (1995-2006) was generally good and occasionally very good for a decade. His best seasons came with the Giants, including a 1.68 ERA in 80 appearances in 2001. Fernando Rodney (2002- ) has been primarily a set-up man but has filled in as closer as needed, saving 37 for the Tigers in 2009. Francisco Rodriguez (2010- ), no relation to K-Rod or Frankie, made it to the majors with the Angels at age 27 and pitched well enough. We’ll see where he goes from here. Francisco Rosario (2006-07) had a 6.02 career ERA in 40 games. Freddy Rodriguez (1958-59) pitched a few games with the Cubs and one game with the Phillies and rarely got anyone out. Fred Rath Sr. (1968-69) pitched a handful of games for the White Sox and had a son (Fred Jr.) who had a 1.69 ERA in two games for the Rockies in 1998. If you’re keeping track of such things, the bullpen consists of three Dominicans, a Venezuelan, a Mexican, a Cuban and a guy from Arkansas named Fred.

Bench:Backup catcher Frank Roth (1903-10) spent several years in that role (backup catcher) with four teams. Infielder Frank Rooney (1914) played a few games in the Federal League and batted .200. He may or may not have been related to Ferris Bueller’s principal. Infielder Fred Robinson (1884), who grew up during the Civil War had three hits for the Cincinnati Outlaw Reds. Outfielder Fraley Rogers (1872-73), who for all we know may have fought in the Civil War, holds the career record for most runs (41) by a player named Fraley. Outfielder Fernando Ramsey (1992) was a minor-league speedster who made a few appearances with the Cubs. When he enters the game, they will play the ABBA song “Fernando” on the PA.

Manager: Frank Robinson, baseball’s first black manager, will be player-manager. His managerial record isn’t very good (1,065-1,176 with no playoff appearances), but he often had teams that were pretty weak to begin with. Holds the distinction of being the last manager of the Expos and the first manager of the Washington Nationals.